DOSE:

1 Tbsp

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

January, 2001. It is a chilly night, roughly 11 o'clock PM. Having a few beers in us, a friend and I walk the short distance to a nearby dorm on the grounds of the small, nondescript college we attend. LSD we hoped for...but MDMA we got. The prospect unnerved me. I had seen scare programs that related MDMA use to serious brain damage. I preferred not to mix ANYTHING I didn't know about with alcohol. I got pressured into it. Reassurance came from every direction, from my fellow first-timer to friends present at the moment. I haggled with myself for a minute, got that gutsy feeling booze gives me, and downed a single, pinkish pill. Having taken acid previously, I was aware that I had just made an important and possibly unnerving decision. I walked outside with my friend, whom we will call 'J', and lit a cigarette. Inside my mind I was having a battle of thoughts; 'Just how dangerous a decision have I just made? How long is the wait? What is this stuff, really?'

At least I'd had briefing.'This is going to feel good.You are really going to like it. There's almost no chance of having a bad trip. Just wait and see...just wait and see.' These are the things I was told by the experienced. So I tried to settle down a bit and gather myself. My friend, J, was still with me and we sat and prospected on the immenent future over a few smokes. About half an hour had elapsed since the initial ingestion. It was 11:30 now.

We stood up and made for a friend's room. We found him just coming down from X. The room was only lightly lit with flashing Christmas lights. He was changing music. I was feeling something, and I couldn't pinpoint it, but it was there...and it was coming fast. (Anyone who's ever done X knows what happens next.)

Like a dense cloud, I came into the Xperience. A rush of warm and captivating euphoria fell over me so swiftly that I had to stop walking to accomodate it. And then the Christmas lights caught my eyes, I smiled. Barely realizing where I was, I sat on the couch, and closed my eyes. Somewhere between outside and inside I had lost connection with J. But, as I sat, melting into the most amazing love I have ever known, my friend, M, sat down beside me and told me to listen. Slowly, like the sun rising, piano notes began floating to me. It was suddenly the light of the world. It was MOBY, 'God Moving Over the Face of the Waters'. I completely gave in to a feeling so large, so all consuming and beautiful, that if I had passed from this world at that moment I would not have cared.

The state of relaxation was so strong, yet the gripping beauty so delicately tactile, that, despite the stimulant effect of X, my eyes were half closed and my breathing had become a slow series of deep, full, life-giving breaths. I held my hands apart, almost convinced that I could move them through each other, I felt that light, that etheric. My eyes danced occasionally, in little ecstasies of their own. And the piano notes kept coming. But then the synthesizers came in and the music folded together with itself and wrapped me up in waves of ecstatic peace so profound that I wonder if the Eastern mystics really know what spiritual ecstasy is. I knew now...and it was beyond words. It was rapture.

Hate was undefinable, misery a long lost legend of human history, violence a distant and impossible theory. I literally could not understand violence at that point. Peace and silence and beauty were all that seemed understadable. Notes were language, and the world was a song.

An hour later I was still careening through the mystery of the heart and the meaning of love. Everything had become meaningful. God was suddenly very perceptible, and everpresent. The little, delicate lights blinking felt like stars, and the piano notes kept rolling in like pearls in ocean tides. The room had taken on an almost mythical quality. And I was wrapped up in it. I was part of the Ultimate myth, the Ultimate journey through life.

Occasionally my heart rate would get me worrying, but only mildly so. It had not increased by much. I had been chewing the inside of my cheek, which left a welt for a week afterward. I kept drinking water through the whole thing to keep my body from dehydrating. Needless to say, the entire experience was much more amazing than I have described. I have also left out many details that occured later. I didn't even start coming down until around 5AM, the peak lasted that long. Comedown was, fortunately, quick. I regretted coming down after being with the Truth of Love for those years/hours...but realized it must be so.

Overall, I have learned a lot from this most profound of experiences. Love is what binds the masses in trust and peace. MDMA could save the world, and if people were in the ECSTASY MIND 24/7, war, hate, poverty, and lies would cease to exist. In the X state these things are incomprehensible. I talked for a long time that night about the world, and I listened a great deal. My heart finally got a word in edgewise, thank god.

I'll give what advice that I can. Love others, regardless of their differences, because even then you are sharing with each other the realities of your own lives as fellow humans. Differences are beautiful, truly. And God is a wondrous gem, multi-faceted and beautiful beyond words. I have used, and continue to do so, this first X experience to change the way I am toward others and the way I look at life. On X I knew God was there, right inside me. Why not know that now? X is an amazing gift, and should be used as such.

I hope this has not been too exaustive. I only hope that everyone who has and who will experience Ecstasy receives as much beauty and understading and deep love I did. Godspeed to you all. Be safe.


P.S.- For all of you who are planning to roll in the near future, and especially for the first-timers, do yourself a favor, and play the song I mentioned when you feel the X rush coming, not before. Let the song bring you in to the experience. PLAY IT LOUD! You will love it. Hope I've helped. PEACE, ALL.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 10057
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 14, 2004	Views: 10,736
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