DOSE: T+ 0:00	7 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)
T+ 1:00	2 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)
T+ 5:00	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

Mindfulness and Mushrooms

Before I begin about my experience, it would be useful to provide some background information about myself. I excercize almost daily, and I’m a decent student. I am not new to psychoactive substances. I started smoking cannabis at 16, but never got into the habit daily until 19.

My first mushroom experience was at 18, and since then I’ve developed an acute interest in the states of consciousness that humans can conceive. I’m an extremely positive person, who prior to college ran long distance and meditated daily. I do not consider myself religious, but I feel life and death are important issues so through life I meditate to become a better more understanding person. While I’ve tried different things before once, the only things I truly appreciate are psychedelics/entheogens and cannabis. I would like to share this, because this trip in particular was the most enlightening and healing session I’ve had.

Now for the reason for this particular trip. Two weeks prior, I had my first experience with MDMA. Being misinformed, I believed molly to have psychedelic aspects. However being experienced, I now recognize how MDMA affects serotonin in a vastly different way than mushrooms. I’d describe it as being mentally burnt out the following week, instead of an afterglow and appreciating I feel on true psychedelics. This feeling lasted unto the next week for me, even with daily exercise and being motivated to be healthy. I realized I really longed for the coming down that one experiences on shrooms. Molly had distanced me from myself, and I believe to this day that mushrooms can regulate serotonin and help you re-discover yourself. My plan was to wait two weeks and try a good dose. However I wanted a uniquely meditative experience removed from most sensory distraction (music, computer, television, art, movement, etc).

As for preparation, I was lucky enough to have cubensis growing outside my apartment complex this time of year. I simply picked 9 grams (once dried) a few days prior. Secondly being a cannabis patient, I stocked up on a half-ounce of quality indoor weed.

As for my environment, I chose to try it alone in my apartment. I planned towards the end of the trip, my girlfriend would come back (she lives with me). This is because with any psychedelic, it is important to be responsible regardless of experience. Having a trip sitter is important to build experience safely, and having someone checkup is NEVER a bad thing. My room is set up to be visually optimistic. The goal is to maintain a positive environment without a direct influence such as trippy art. I had about 5 blunts pre-rolled, and the rest was set up for a bong. Before the mushrooms I meditated on my own for a half hour in my garden.

To start I ate 7 grams of dried mushrooms. I don’t know why, but I can always notice the effects build proportional to how much I took almost immediately after dosing. I have gotten to the point where I can gauge how hard I will trip by how vivid the world appears, and a rising feeling in the lower back area. The first hour I was with a neighbor, who was really interested in how I feel, and was somewhat disappointed that I said it wasn’t going to be the strong. After he left, it was at about an hour and I was beginning to see tracers and decided to re dose. The first 7 grams will carry the trip, and I had planned on taking the last two ground up in a fresh squeezed lemon-lime shot. It had been sitting in the fridge over an hour and was mixed thoroughly. After I took the shot, things really built up quick.

The first 40 minutes was the hardest to remain concentrative. Immediately I lay down on my couch, my thoughts were sporadic. To remain completely in control, I lit up a blunt and constantly meditated on myself. In a sense I meditate on “I” or what I can claim is myself. This is where the trip becomes different. I literally felt which parts of my brain I was using to think. I could concentrate and feel the regions I used. For the first time in my life, my subconscious was realizable. I felt myself think, and I felt myself thinking things as reaction to my subconscious. I become extremely self-aware, it was a consciousness far greater than sober, far more real. I envisioned the world, life and death, as only someone with extreme mental discipline could do. This was my mental state of mind.

Feeling totally in control, I decided to test myself. Feeling truly free, my mind quickly went to the most relevant questions I could ask myself. Who am I? Why am I here? This body? This life? Everyone’s lives? Society? Then I concentrated on life. I could feel my frontal cortex racing, complex thoughts and ideas came racing to me as fast as I could comprehend (which was much faster). Time had dilated in the extreme, as I watched a clock and slowly closed my eyes. As I could feel answers come, I also felt a cool white light piercing through me to the source of the thoughts, to me. For a time that seemed like minutes, I felt bodiless suspended in white. I could see a choice. Leave or be trapped, with what I could feel was the beautiful embodiment of life, death, truth, everything just beyond the white. It was in this split second that I purposefully broke concentration, and the white drew away and was replaced by my body.

My girlfriend came home early, and caught me during the peak of the experience just after I meditated. She’s not as into it as me, but we’ve had an LSD experience together, and she’s been around me long enough to see the good they can do in the world. For some reason she was really into my trains of thought at the time. It was perfect because it gave me the chance to reflect and develop my thoughts, and is probably why I can recall in detail. It became a weird scene, as I lay on the couch on mushrooms describing life to the sober person in the room. Given the whole time the world before me was new, I tried my hardest to maintain focus on thought rather than visuals. I’ll try to replicate the direction of thought:

The first thing that I asked was “what is a trip?”, and she said when you take hallucinogen. But that’s not the right answer, that’s what causes a trip, what’s a trip? A trip is where you’re thrust into a new perspective, a new reality, that comes together and falls apart. Life is a trip, the people who were alive 1000 years ago didn’t think complex as us. Humans as a species have the ability to pass their trip (perspective on life) onto offspring. You really think people out there are evil? No, some people are caught in their own bad trip where people are dehumanized or money rules the world. On mushrooms, identity/race/gender dissolves and becomes irrelevant. I’d describe it as being Buddha and looking at the world only harboring love for other people. I’d describe it as a feeling I strive for in meditation, where I can focus my thoughts towards benevolence and human nature, except more euphoric and revolutionary.

I know some people describe a mushroom trip as disassembling and reassembling your ego to a degree; I consider this outdated. The reality that I put together and take apart on a substance is up to me and my subconscious, it’s apparent after this trip. Another thing is the subconscious is still a baby in some sense. It will be uncomfortable in scary environments, and leach its discomfort onto your conscious. It is so powerful that your subconscious can drive your every thought on mushrooms if you let it (don’t maintain your ego). I also noticed it’s applicable to real life after talking to my girlfriend. One person can change the world through appeal to your subconscious. “Want proof?”, I asked my girlfriend, then said “want an orange” and held up something orange. Of course she thought it was an orange for a split second, and now immediately her perspective on life has changed. Even if she’s 1% more likely to eat an orange later that day, it’s life changing. And I’m not talking about that religious nut who annoys you. I’m saying if you can get another person to actually think the same train of thought as you, that’s when you change the world. Am I the only one afraid that ineffective trains of thought can ruin the world? Just look at how the world views drugs, and my point is made right there.

My train of thought and thinking has never been as fast or as clear or as real as it was then. I felt bad saying this, but I told my girlfriend I was more than human like a god in a human body. This whole time I’ve been in control of my thoughts. If I wanted to I could close my eyes and go anywhere or talk to anyone (although I was aware that anyone I envisioned was “given life” by my subconscious, and a reflection of myself). However I never claim to have any control over real-life visuals. Although now I believe I can explain them. I believe the array of colors and bends to be my visual cortex interpreting white light as made up of every color and bending due to my cortex overcompensating for everyday things that are to some small degree optical illusions (unparalleled lines affect depth perception heavily).

My girlfriend was very interested in what I said, and it was an incredible night where we bonded despite being on different states of consciousness. Also something incredible happened. Sex was the last thing on my mind, but when it happened it stayed up on its own free will. It was the most intensely positive feeling I’ve ever had in my entire life despite not climaxing. The other thing was my mushroom stayed erect even after my mind was completely turned off, but it was just a delayed response and weird not concerning.

I continued on for a few hours talking, smoking weed as the trip slowly came down. Towards the end, my girlfriend smoked a hit off a bowl I was on and fell asleep within a few minutes, guess it was potent.

All in all, the trip lasted 6 hours. My mental abilities diminished and my conscious remerged with my subconscious. While it was somewhat disappointing as the godly feeling diminished and I came down to my regular state of consciousness, what I’m left with is positive energy, a more complex understanding of life. I feel more real, more human than I ever have in my life. I see so much potential in myself. I hope my experience holds a positive light for those seeking answers regardless if they choose to use entheogens.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 101248
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: May 21, 2022	Views: 446
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), Cannabis (1) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Sex Discussion (14), General (1)