DOSE:

25 mg

oral

4-AcO-DMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

185 lb

My friend J and I had chosen the day and the location for our journey. His mother had passed away suddenly the previous week, so he came back into town for the funeral. There was the standard flood of relatives who all have the same thing to say, the left-over childhood friends who just want to talk about high school glory days, and the siblings that are coping to varying degrees. For my own part, my long-term girlfriend had broken up with me a couple weeks before, and I was just about to start a job after a year of unemployment- I had collected the huge stack of love letters she wrote me, refusing to read even a word. This was to be a day of emotional integration and healing for both of us, and we each had something of a demon to face.

J and I are not close- we lived in a foreign country together, and became close for a while, but it's one of those warm tattered friendships that is great when you're around each other and then sort of fades away during 'normal' life, only too happy to be dusted off and resumed when space and time permit. He trusts me- we enjoyed fungi together, among many other stories, in the other country.

We dosed in the early afternoon, at my house. 25mg for me (as a more experienced psychonaut) and 21mg for him. Previously, shopping was done to give us some tasty things to snack on, and just set the mood for the day.

0:00 Psilacetin weighed into gel caps using a milligram scale, swallowed simultaneously and joyfully. Now we're in it.

0:05 We drink stuff that we purchased. I have a ginger drink, he has some other hippie drink. Tasty.

0:07 I figure, why the hell not? I put some lemon essential oil into gel caps for us to take. Sure, we'll be belching lemon for a couple hours, but the β-pinene will ensure that no nausea is experienced.

0:10 Alerts?

0:15 Whoa. Definitely something occurring.

0:20 We are sitting on the floor of my room and my carpet looks misty. Things are starting to blur a little bit. We lock eyes and smile. Glad we're on the same page. His infectious laugh fills my ears.

0:22 This is way faster than I expected. The time from ingestion until brain-fucked-land is far less than usual for me. Interestingly, snacking on hippiesnacks is still desirable and enjoyable. Blueberries are great. We can both feel the tryptamine ball-of-potential-energy waiting to be unleashed, right underneath our sternums. This is gonna be amazing.

0:30 The visuals are…awesome. Inside the house, they are MUCH more like DMT than psilocybin. The extra vividness of colors has passed beyond the normal possibilities and is far into colors-not-normally-visible.

0:35 My patterned wall has become an amazing kaleidoscope of color, texture, and perception. Scenery slicing is occurring all over everything textured. J is enjoying himself similarly, though maybe not with as intense visuals as myself.

0:50 I could watch this all day. The ceiling, my wall decorations, the carpet. Wow. Texture repetition, fractal branching- far more like DMT than mushrooms, but still tethered to reality.

1:00 I can't believe I haven't gotten up until now. Walking around- I almost feel like I'm flying. The energy in my mind and limbs is amazing. I feel as free as a floating dandelion tuft. I poke my head into every room and look on the insides with totally fresh eyes. Wow! My tiny house is such an amazing little hobbit hole of a space. I am practically dancing around the house. J is similarly enjoying exploring, though a bit more sedately. The same rooms have a brand new charm every time I peek inside!

1:15 Blueberries are the best things on the planet.

1:30 I am plopped on my floor staring at the ceiling and in awe of this amazing substance. J suggests we adventure outside…something which at first seems beyond doable, but with a few moments' thought, seems like a great idea.

1:35 We walk outside onto my back deck. The clouds…are…so…amazing. We stand on my deck, smack in the middle of a heavily urban environment, and just stare. We look at the sky, and the light, and everything around us. We talk about how funny it must look to anyone watching us.

1:45 I decide to attempt descending a ladder to enjoy the landlord's lawn chairs. I always forget how overgrown the yard is…it almost feels like going through a jungle.
1:50 Oh no! The plant that I killed with a knife some weeks ago has shed poky things all over me. Back from the dead, to get me! Blech. I am uncomfortable. There is plant all over the inside of my shirt. But outside is worth it. We take spots in the lawn chairs and watch the sky.

2:00 The tree right above us, silhouetted by the sky, is growing dendrites as we watch. We both see the same thing.

2:15 The clouds are fractaled and morphing. Scene slicing and enhanced colors are still occurring, but less so. This trip seems to be taking a turn for the introspective.

2:30 We have been talking about life, the universe, our past, our future. I am so happy to be sharing everything with J. He is enjoying talking to me too.

2:45 I'm cold, at this point, so we go inside. It's another adventure getting back in.

3:00 Back inside the house, we separate. J goes to lie down on the couch in the living room- it's pretty dark, but he's fine and says that he'll be fine for a while. I realize…this is the time. Time to do what I set out to do today, even though I've been having so much fun, the visuals are almost gone and the introspectiveness has taken hold. I head to my room, and onto my bed…my heart feels like lead and my gut feels like it's filled with cold glass. I don't know how this is going to go.

3:20 I have finished reading her letters. I tried not to drip tears on them, and succeeded somewhat. I don't feel happy, or free, or healed…but I feel reborn in a way. Like I emerged from the tattered skin, insect-like, ready to face everything with a fresh sense of hope. I feel all of the pain, but I feel all of the growth, and the love, and the experiences. Remembering individual moments that we had no longer feels like an icicle through my heart- it feels like a faded memory of an incredibly happy time.

3:45 I return to the living room. J has been doodling with pastels and hasn't moved from staring at the ceiling. I lay down on my carpet, and we begin to snack again. Neither of us needs to talk about our emotional experience- we've both come through it. There's a tentative, quiet satisfaction in the room. We are on our way downhill. Emotionally fragile, but ready to face the harsh world again.

4:00-6:00 We putter around, before finally deciding that it's time to get some huge burritos. We are quietly content for the rest of the evening. What a day- brains are still rewiring.

Conclusion: This is an amazing substance, both for recreational and therapeutic potential. The visuals are VERY DMT-like, without the universe totally retreating, the energy is fun like fungi, but the potential for growth and introspection like LSD exists without the typical emotional/confusion intensity. It definitely changes character a couple hours in- from body energy and visuals to thoughtful and quiet.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101970
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Apr 13, 2014	Views: 10,033
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