DOSE: T+ 0:00	100 mg	oral	MDMA	(capsule)
T+ 0:00	repeated	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 1:30	bumps	oral	MDMA
T+ 2:00	bumps	oral	MDMA
T+ 3:30	1 line	insufflated	Cocaine
T+ 4:30	1 line	insufflated	Cocaine

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

Seeing a substance in a new light

I am a 25 year old female - let's call me L.
At time of experience, weight was about 60kg. I have been using drugs since I was 15 or 16, started with cannabis. I'm a very experienced user of MDMA, and past drug experience includes, apart from those two, LSD, cocaine, mephedrone, ephedrine, MDPV, salvia, amphetamine and methylphenidate.

The MDMA used in this experience was pure and tested. Cocaine was of unknown quality or purity.

A little background: my favourite drug is, indeed, MDMA. I have abused it before but learned to respect it and respect myself. I've used it for 4 years, sometimes with pauses of months in-between, sometimes every weekend. I love to go out dancing and therefore I find MDMA to be the best drug for this. Apart from beautiful states of trance while dancing, it allows me to connect with friends on a deeper level and I have strengthened many friendships this way.

For cocaine, however, I have a dislike. I had used it maybe only a handful of times before, and never found it to be a drug that I could learn from. One time I had an anxiety attack from it, but all other times it would mostly turn me into a 'bad version' of myself: more hostile, more grumpy, fun at points but never really something I felt I 'understood'. Having a couple friends struggling with their very regular use was also always a put-off. So usually when offered a line, I simply have no desire to do it, and turn it down.

The experience itself:

I got ready to go out clubbing. Weighed myself a dose of 100mg MDMA on a digital scale, put it in a capsule, and stored it. Was feeling fine, looking forward to dance all night listening to my favourite DJ. Chatted a bit with the cab driver on my way there, arrived safely and in a good mood. Got in, went backstage, chatted a bit more. At 3AM (T: +0) decided to drop my MDMA capsule and descend to the dance floor. At this point I met a friend, let's call him N. Usually I do not check the time on my phone but decided to do it.

At around T +45m, I am feeling the drug. The first sign is always a sudden change in the music. Suddenly it sounds deeper, brighter, more detailed. I stand there rubbing my neck and hair and feel like I absolutely need to sit down. I find some benches on the side of the dance floor and sit for awhile, smoking a cigarette, perfectly content and accepting of my new state of consciousness. Watching people having fun, I grin. I felt a part of it. Worries are tossed aside, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed but nothing I can't handle. I finish my cigarette and get back on the dance floor, back to N. I dance. The rushes of euphoria are intensified by the music, it doesn't take long before I'm totally lost in my own zone, waving my arms about and stomping my feet. Chewing gum and chain smoking, my bit of the dance floor feels like a little piece of paradise.

Suddenly N. hands me a bag of coke for me to keep and share with another friend of ours. He said he was fine and didn't want to do anymore as he was leaving soon, so I kept it not thinking too much about it. I go backstage and have a cigarette (or two, or three) and dab my finger twice on some more MDMA. It is now T +1.5 hrs. I am at my peak. It feels awesome, sorry for the very unscientific language! I know I am already too high, but I still want more. Back to the dance floor, I am invaded by the typical 'loved up' feeling, that thankfully I have learned to control over the years. But while dancing, all sorts of thoughts and conversations play in my mind. My eyes roll back, sometimes. I scream in delight. Two other friends show up and I take generous drinks of their MDMA laced water. Tasted very very bitter, I imagine they would have thrown half a gram into 33cl of water.

At T+2h, my friend N. leaves and I decide to go backstage for good. Actually I stayed in the dj booth area itself, half-hidden from plain view, but still being able to feel the energy of the party. I dab my finger some more, and know I am way gone. My vision is too blurry and shaky, I need to close one eye to be able to focus on anything. This is specially a problem when trying to check my phone. I keep on dancing, smoking, drinking juice, with pauses for sitting.

At T+3h, I am completely floored by the MDMA. The pleasure is intense and immense, and I am perfectly happy sitting down against a wall, with my head tilted back, occasionally pestering my friend M. for a hug or a pat on the head. I can't keep my eyes open for more than a couple of seconds at a time. I kept thinking how high I was, and how 'disabled' I felt, but still how it was wonderful.

But at T+3h30 the thought 'coke' popped in my mind. What if I did a line? I had never combined MDMA and cocaine before. I knew that in theory, the cocaine should overpower the MDMA therefore bringing me a bit 'back to life', as I knew the party would soon be over. But I also knew I did not usually enjoy coke. I decided to do it. I must have taken some 3 minutes just to lay down two lines, as my vision was still really bad, and getting worse. I offer my friend M. the bigger one, as he's a cocaine user, and snort a smaller one, wanting to be cautious. Within a couple of minutes… I was back! My vision was in better focus, my eyes opened and I no longer wanted to keep them closed. I felt refreshed, alive, and happy, not the MDMA-happy, but some sort of 'affirmative happy', functional, decided, and cool. At the same time, music no longer sounded the same. It also alleviated some of my jaw tension. Yep, it did feel like something had been turned off in my brain, and something else turned on . I decided I liked this, and decided to do more. The party finishes at T+4h30. and my vision is getting worse again, and I am getting sluggish and back in the wasted, MDMA-state of mind. I use the toilet and try to lay down some more lines but at this point my vision is so out of focus that I yell out of desperation 'I can't see!'. Eventually I'm done, back to my alert-self once again. I leave with M., we share a cab and chat a bit on the way. A trip I have done with him many times on MDMA-comedowns, this time I felt less 'wasted' and curiously less anxious as well, as I tend to get very anxious on the comedowns. My heart rate was high but not at all uncomfortable, and while I tend to blurt out the usual 'lovey dovey' stuff to friends at that time of morning, I even said to M. that it just didn't make sense to make those usual comments, it did not feel right.

Cab dropped him home, I go to my place, my vision is getting bad again. I wash my face, curl up in bed. I have pretty strong nausea at this point. Considered doing another line, opted not to. Took some valerian and waited for sleep. Strong and vivid images popped up, mostly of random cartoon images but also of fractals in vivid colours. Deep sleep finally came, I estimate at T+7h. Woke up at T+10h with a massive headache, which was fixed by food+liquids+ibuprofen.

From this experience I gained a new respect for cocaine as a tool. I cannot imagine myself having much fun with it on its own, but will be open to do a line or two if feeling excessively high or floored by MDMA at the end of a night. It feels like it is a good 'end of night' drug for me, to do after MDMA.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 102613
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Nov 4, 2022	Views: 1,765
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MDMA (3), Cocaine (13) : Combinations (3), Rave / Dance Event (18)