DOSE:	repeated	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated	insufflated	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
		smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

[The Salvia was smoked after snorting several lines of MDMA and K in my room. During the experience I was listening to Burial.]

How I got there, I do not know. Re-evaluation and honesty. The usual search, chasing. Wanting a nostalgic experience. Then, after somewhat of a disappointment, the decision to go deeper. There was a willingness to be open.

The initial attitude after I knew for sure that I would be struck was of letting go and of surrendering to reality as it is. What aided me here was the Hindu idea that the world is a play where Atman, the Supreme Self, plays all the roles. Whatever I am, I came from the source of all things. This is God. Everything about me comes from the sacred source.

There is no describing what “sacred” is. It is just something that is known in the moment, without a hint of doubt.

Every movement that my body makes is an expression of the Supreme Self, He who underlies all things. The failure I thought I had become was actually a sacred entity. I was not a mistake. I belonged. I belonged to Him. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Every person belongs exactly where they are. Everything is the way it is supposed to be. And this, what is, is infinitely more sacred than any idea any person has ever had about how things should be.

Acknowledgement of this sacred reality within each person is the true meaning of “I love you”. That is the deepest understanding of another entity that one can have. There are many ways to communicate this love. One is to express it in words. Another is through dance communication, which is more direct than words. The way you treat others is yet another way, as is sex, which is one of the most direct means.

It was immediately clear to me that Love, a concept that had never made sense to me before, was the secret of the universe and that the meaning of life was to bring the reality of Love into the world. The secret is buried inside each being, but at the same time this secret was what links all beings together. I saw it in a brief vision as a white beam or branch emerging out of my abdomen and connecting to every person. The secret of life was unlocked.
Right there, I understood that this was the most significant event in my life. This was the tip of the mountain.

Everything is the way it is supposed to be.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 103290
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Jun 28, 2018	Views: 1,461
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Ketamine (31), MDMA (3), Salvia divinorum (44) : Combinations (3), Mystical Experiences (9), Entities / Beings (37), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Unknown Context (20)