DOSE: T+ 0:00		oral	Capsicum spp.	(liquid)
T+ 0:00	300 ug	oral	LSZ	(blotter / tab)
T+ 1:30	1	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 1:30	1	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

A few days ago I finally got to experience that psychedelic experience I had always dreamed of, LSD. I have had a great deal of experience with psychedelics in the past: psilocybin, 2-CI, 25b, salvia and something else which was most likely another phenylethylamine. I have never been able to procure real LSD but I was able to acquire a small quantity of LSZ through an online vendor. Based on the information I’ve gathered, LSZ is almost identical to LSD in its effects, although I’m sure opinions will differ on this matter.

Anyway…

Tuesday: I receive an envelope in the mail, my grandmother delivers it to me saying “It’s airmail!”, later on I’ll be forced to make up a haphazard excuse as to why I’m receiving an envelope from the UK. I waste no time revealing its contents, a folded piece of paper simply reads “Thank you for doing business with ******!”, a small sealed silver bag is inside, on it is written LSZ (d-lysergic acid 2,4-dimethylazetidide) 3 x 150ug NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. Oh yes, very official indeed. Immediately I feel the butterflies, an anxious excitement in my belly that makes me feel like taking a dump, this always happens before I get ready to trip. I dispose of the envelope and put the sealed bag away in a safe place.

Thursday: It’s about 12:00 pm. I’ve decided to trip during the daytime. Besides painstakingly creating an epic playlist and loading it on my iPod, I’ve done very little in preparation for this trip. All I’ve had to eat was a few eggs earlier in the morning. I figure that I have to set aside about 8 hours for this trip and I don’t want to stay up all night. My mother is due back from work around 7 or 8 so it’s now or never. Of course my grandparents are still home but they don’t usually bother me. I make myself some “firewater” and chug it down to get my blood flowing. For those who don’t know “firewater” is raw apple cider vinegar, hot water, cayenne pepper, sea salt, and a little lemon juice, taste like soup broth but it really gives me a nice boost of energy.

t-0:00: I open the sealed package to reveal three blotters with LSZ stamped all over them, “super official!” I think to myself. I take two of the blotters, stick em’ under my tongue and wrap the other one up in some tin foil.

t- 0:45 I haven’t had any body tension yet, I feel completely normal. I’m starting to get skeptical. I know I’ve never taken anything precisely like this before but I’m typically very good at noticing the stages of the come up. I wonder if I didn’t take it the right way or if the LSZ was destroyed by heat on the long trip overseas. Do a little bit of internet research and read that for some it can take up to an hour and a half to kick in. I feel reassured so I just do a little bit of chatting with friends on Facebook while I wait.

t- 1:30 Still feeling none of the body tension that I’m accustomed to with a come up. I am however, starting to realize that I’m definitely under the influence of something, things just feel different. I know that it’s happening but I’m worried that maybe it won’t be all that spectacular. I decide that maybe it’s time to test the waters. I grab my iPod and my headphones and step out on the back porch to have a cigarette. I put on Cold War Kids – Out of the Wilderness and light up. We live on a golf course and my backyard is overlooking one of the holes, it’s all very green with lots of oak trees. The music hits my ears and a wave of pleasure washes over me. I notice that things look especially bright, especially green and especially beautiful. I looked up at the sky and from behind a tall oak tree flew a flock of birds. I smiled and laughed to myself. The moment was too perfect. It was right then that I knew I was tripping. I went back inside and immediately realized that it was far too hot, I was in the patio, which is where I stay. So, I took my laptop and moved into my mom’s room, which would be nice and air-conditioned.

t- 2:00 I’ve now put on the playlist which I so painstakingly made in preparation and it’s really doing the trick. I’m completely at a loss as to what to do with myself though. I’m sitting on my laptop and it seems like everyone wants to chat with me today of all days and now I’ve got this girl messaging me saying she wants to fuck me. I’m definitely interested but now isn’t really good time! I casually flirt with her for a little while but eventually I decide to log out. My mind is in a different place and I don’t want to have to deal with the demands of keeping up the sexual tension.

t- 2:45 I’m sitting outside on my mother’s patio smoking a cigarette and I’m starting to notice some visual distortion, my clothing is beginning to breath and the computer screen is starting to get that ‘melting’ effect. I still have music pumping into my head but now I’m mentally distracted, I’m starting to feel very restless and uncomfortable. I go inside to do something but as soon as I get inside I forget what it was I was going to do. My body feels fine but mentally I’m starting to feel anxious. I’m starting to think about things, about my life and my current circumstances. I’m thinking that I’m a complete loser and that I have no business tripping on a Thursday afternoon. I’m thinking about how I’m currently unemployed and having a hell of a time finding a job. Of course all the while I’m trying my best to NOT think about these things, I just want to enjoy my trip but I can’t shake these thoughts. I have nothing to distract myself with, the music is giving me the auditory pleasure I wanted yet I am still experiencing this mental anguish. “Do you like your trippy music?” the music seems to be taunting me. I’m starting to regret taking the LSZ.

t-3:00 I’m now sitting on the bed, enduring the mental agony. All of a sudden I realize that I shouldn’t be trying to avoid these thoughts, that instead I should be examining them. I realize that I am actually very depressed and pretending that I’m not. I begin to think about why I am feeling like this and I start to think back to my college years. I fucked up in college, I partied my ass off and I ended up not graduating. I’ve been coasting along ever since working different jobs. I realized that I never mourned for this properly, that I simply continued to live my life and pretended like nothing bad had ever happened. It was then that I began to cry and I cried hard, I cried for the opportunities I threw away, I cried for mistakes that I made. I said to myself “You fucked up, you fucked up bad. But…it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay…” I never cry and now I was crying like I’ve never cried before. I felt like I was releasing years of bottled up emotion. When I cried all the tears that I could I felt this incredible sense of joy wash over me. I began to laugh and I felt like I was reborn.

t- 3:30 I’m feeling much better now. I notice on the television Rob & Big is on and in this episode it looks like he has bought his family a house and is showing them around, it’s like a total reality check to me. I’m seeing that there is this man who has totally provided for his family. They even had a fucking camel walking around in the backyard. Like it was really driving home the point that he has ‘won’ the game and this is what ‘winning’ is. I’m thinking “This is what people are watching on TV, human beings parading around like gorillas beating their chests.” “Is this what the purpose of human existence is?” It felt very nihilistic and amusing. It also felt liberating, in a ‘do what thou wilt’ sort of way. However, at the same time, it didn’t feel right. I felt like I was being deceived by this notion, that there was more to life and that I was being tricked into believing that this ‘game’ was all there was.

t- 3:45 I’m still feeling a little crusty from all the crying earlier so I decide to take a quick shower. Nothing really special about the shower, I’m not noticing any amazing feelings or hallucinations, just a standard shower. At this point the trip is still almost completely mental. I’m still thinking about what I saw on TV and how I felt about it. I sat down on the toilet and started thinking about it. I started thinking about how I could turn my life around. Then I start thinking about my health. I smoke, use smokeless tobacco and I take a lot of drugs. I think of myself as an old man, suffering and regretting all of these poor decisions made in youth. I decide right then and there that today will be the day that I stop all of these things. A wave of emotion washes over me and tears begin fall down my face. I’m looking down at the wet bathroom floor and I say out loud “There is a God and he loves me” It was at the precise moment that I began to see the most beautiful and clear visuals I’ve ever seen. It was just like the visuals I always see when I’m on strong psychedelics, the intricate geometric patterns that spread across entire surfaces in a honeycomb like fashion. It was the same as before yet so much clearer and more intricate in its detail, by that I mean the individual ‘honeycombs’ were much smaller. I had to laugh at this and I felt total bliss at that moment.

t- 4:30 I’ve clothed myself and I’m now laid out on the bed looking at the ceiling. It’s one of those popcorn ceilings and I focus on one section of it. It begins breaking out in that same beautiful geometric pattern that I am so accustomed to. I look at the intricacy of it with wonder. The small moving parts of it sometimes appear like tiny gears turning against each-other. I find it almost impossible to describe and I am a terrible artist but I have seen Shipibo artwork that looks quite similar. The pattern soon encompasses the entire ceiling and now it is moving at a furious rate. I look at the ceiling through the spinning fan and this causes the room to be slightly illuminated by what seem to be very faint translucent pyramids within cubes. I have seen this effect in much greater intensity on other psychedelics before but this time it is only slightly apparent. I spend about a half an hour watching the beauty unfold before my eyes, the feeling is absolutely blissful.

t- 5:00 I’m starting to feel hungry so I go into the kitchen to make some food. I seem to be able to the visuals off and on at will, all I need to do to see them is focus and to turn them off I simply focus on something else. I make myself a ridiculously huge hamburger with bacon on it, take it back to my room and wolf it down. After eating the burger I feel even more amazing. This is without a doubt the best I’ve ever felt on a psychedelic.

t- 7:00 I’ve lost track of time, enjoying the visuals and talking with friends online. My buddy is coming over to pick me up and drive around for a minute.

t- 7:15 My buddy picks me up and we drive to the gas-station, I give him almost all of my cigarettes and tell him that I’ve decided to quit. We talk for a little bit and then he drives me back home.

t- 8:00 I’ve moved my laptop and everything back out to my room and my mom finally gets home. I’m still seeing a lot of great visuals but the trip is totally under my control. I feel very comfortable talking with my mother.

t- 10:00 At this point I’ve been under the assumption that I was completely done tripping at this point but I decide to give the visuals a try again. I look up at the ceiling and focus just a little but and I realize that I’m still seeing the visuals full on, this is a very interesting trip.

t- 12:00 Take a look the surface of my laptop and I focus a little bit, the visuals are still there. Look at the ceiling, the visuals are still there.

t- 14:00 I’m getting ready to wind down and go to bed but I realize that I’m still wide awake, going to sleep is going to be tricky. I decide to take another look at that surface on my laptop, the visuals are still there. I lay back and take a look at the ceiling. The whole ceiling is still plastered with that honeycomb pattern. Looking at it through the fan enhances this effect, I can see the breathing effect when I move my eyes a bit. I’m astonished that I’m still seeing the visuals so clearly.

t- 16:00 It’s now 4:00 in the morning and I dropped this LSZ at 12:00 noon. The ceiling STILL has the imprint of the honeycomb pattern. If I focus a little I can still see this honeycomb pattern on my laptop. I notice the moon through my blinds and I decide to take a walk to check it out. I put on my headphones and the musical magic is still VERY much there. I walk out on the golf course to watch the moon creep behind a large column of dark clouds. It’s beautiful.

t- 16:30 I’m finally going to bed, but before I do I check the ceiling, still has that imprint, focus on the laptop, now its getting very faint but the pattern is still present. I start to think that maybe I will be able to see this pattern forever if I just focus hard enough.

Waking up the next day I realize that the ceiling looks completely different now, there is no pattern and no amount of focusing will change that.

I’m forever changed by this trip, I’m motivated and I no longer feel depressed. I’ve quit smoking and dipping. I’ve stopped drinking soda. I’ve definitely had some troubling thoughts on psychedelics before that went away rather quickly but this was the first time I was unable to avoid them which resulted in me examining and immersing myself in them. The experience was incredibly rewarding. The feeling of bliss I experienced was like no other.

I’m still astonished that the effect of this trip lasted for so long. It wasn’t a very powerful trip but it did have an extremely long duration. 300ug was a good dose but I definitely could have done more.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104331
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 24, 2018	Views: 3,987
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LSZ (609) : Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Alone (16)