DOSE: T+ 0:00	8 in		Cacti - T. pachanoi
T+ 3:00		oral	Alcohol

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

I chose the Halloween festival as it also happens to be close to the Celtic Samhain. Prior to this I had an experience 6 months ago around the time of Beltane.

As this was my third experience with San Pedro (the third substantial dose anyway…), I was able to anticipate events (to a minor degree at least). My first experience was a bolt from the blue; at just past the peak of the experience I had set out into the night, and I had found navigating back to both home and reality to be quite an arduous adventure. The second experience, my Beltane experiment, was a little lighter, I erred on the cautious side; I opted to remain in the safety of home and was able to steer my way through without accident or incident, however, I was acutely aware of my ‘expanded’ state of mind come the morning as my household arose at breakfast time.

So what I was looking for this time was to get lost, but not totally lost. I wanted to go out in public, but I didn’t want to encounter anybody. I would be starting around midnight (the same as previous times), and I had a shortlist of places where I wanted to ‘end up’ in mind. Also, as in my first expedition, my means of transport was inevitably going to be push bike. I wasn’t going to be venturing out for the first few hours, and in terms of preparation for the launch, I had creature comforts such as a designated chill out room with soft lighting, music, incense, visual stimuli etc. So much for what I anticipated…

T 00.30 - this time I rapidly skulled the concoction [8 inch of a 3 1/2-inch diameter section], and whilst I was waiting for the first signs, I kicked back in front of TV. Bearing in mind it's Halloween weekend, there happens to be a horror double bill being shown, and first up is the Shining. I suspect that I am going to feel some nausea this time round, I hold onto the nausea though, and run with it, whilst simultaneously paying it as little attention as possible.

I haven’t seen the film in ages, and I am surprised how vivid it is. I feel quite entertained, and it helps distract me from the queasy feelings. By the end of the film, I’m noticing a certain ‘enhancement’ that isn’t due to the TV’s capabilities. The idea I had was to switch off the TV at this point, and go to my chill out room, but, as I mentioned earlier, my anticipation covered certain factors, but the second the trip begins, it starts to unravel.

T 01:00 – nausea is building, I can imagine purging at this point, feel a little overwhelmed, and start to question the soundness of my decision to imbibe the sacred brew. The next film comes on while I sit flailing – I haven’t seen this one – Halloween 2. I’m about to get caught up in a big way…. I hear my infant daughter wake up, and for a second, think she’s going to run into the room, but I’m relieved as she goes and gets in bed with her mum. My cat has been sitting on my lap, and she starts engaging in some deep purring which is slightly heartening for me at this juncture. A kind of mild psychic terror is now mingling with physical distress/ bodily discomfort – one becoming the other, the pace ever quickening.

A minor piece of fortitude now occurs, I look down at the box I made for my daughter to keep her dolls stuff in which has a little Barbie bust glued onto it, its kind of 3d holographic to look at now, it immediately brings to mind something similar from my first cactus experience – that time around my friends place, it was a framed tapestry of a maidenly female that at the time I associated with Aphrodite. How lovely you look Barbie – ahh my goddess!

The commercials cut the tension, but then become insufferable themselves with there insane repetition of inane statements, their sacrilegious contamination of the holy sphere of my spiritual consciousness! In fact I’ve somehow flipped channel to the shopping channel … I turn back to the film; but Rob Zombies' portrayal of eternal evil is driven home in an all too harrowing manner. The line between alive and dead is perfectly blurred.

I’m half way through the film by now; the adverts come on again, and are even more despicable than during the sojourn to the shopping channel - conspicuous phallic like objects of desire. What with the to and fro between extremes, it strikes me as a good a time as any to switch the TV off. Unfortunately I need the remote to do this, and can’t seem to find it (naturally), and so I go into a bit of a tail spin trying to solve the dilemma until I finally do switch off - at the wall.

T 02:00 – the instant I step foot in the chill out room, my angst evaporates. It’s the same thing as has occurred the last two trips – i.e. I’ve gone through a metaphorical door, and now I’m on the other side. So now I am in an ambient state of mind, I can take a breath, get my bearings, and assess my situation. I have a very clear vision of the course ahead of me now. I wake my laptop up, two clicks and I find what I’m looking for. It would be farcical of me to philosophise now about what this thing was that I needed to listen to, but in the grand scheme of things, I can’t overstate the relevance and the somewhat predestined synchronicity of the event – I put headphones on to listen – Kiowa Peyote Meeting, recorded in 1964 by Harry Smith.

This singular activity was a bull’s-eye strike, I believe KPM contains a pretty damn good road map for the average fledgling vision seeker. I had tried listening to this material in my normal state, and was not in the least bit taken with it …. a good dose of Peruvian Soma later however, a world of revelation unfolds.

T 03:00 - the one thing that was still perturbing me was the awareness that I would need to make a foray into the outside world, but that was a little way off still. At this point, I was fairly secure in my habitat, and for reasons I ascribe to the commentaries I was listening to on KPM I felt there could be nothing more appropriate than having a glass of wine; a kind of toast to the gods if you like. I was motivated yet further still, and went and fetched myself some spirits that was lying around. I don’t drink in fact, but as far as I was concerned I was performing an act of worship. I didn’t notice the effect of the alcohol, but when I looked back the next day, I figured the knock on effect was quite obvious. After the KPM had gone on for perhaps an hour, I had little else I wished to hear. A couple of recordings of old Appalachian music, but then not much else. I remember the time was around 04.00, and I must have started preparing to leave. I was planning on heading off in time to see day break at a stretch of the fore shore next which is next to some conservation land.

T 04:00 - I wanted to take a circuitous route that involved the least main roads, and so once I had changed into boots and fatigues, (which I don’t specifically remember – the spirits musty have been affecting me?) I’m ready for off. I opened the door to a very alive night, mounted the push bike, and hit the pedals, I switched on lights at the same time, and then I’m away – I don’t hang around! I recall little of the twenty minutes of being on the highway – a couple of recollections of points on the way, then the approach to where I leave the road to continue on the path. Its pitch black, and a little treacherous, but it goes smoothly. At one point not too far along the route I find that I’m not as certain of where I am as I ought to be; there’s a fence where I’m not expecting one. I bundle myself and bike over it, and continue; now I’m where I should be again. One thing I found about cycling on cactus is I follow my nose; if the route doesn’t take me where I expect it to, I don’t back track, I push forward thinking it will meet up with the route again at some point. Sticking to this philosophy, I proceeded, and it wasn’t long till a fence blocked my way again - only a 6 or 8 footer, so over I go, a little further, and another one ( the damn things are getting higher!)

T 05:00 - The sky is beginning to lighten a little now, and I know I’m close to the route, but I still hit one last mother of a fence, but then I’m on the right track, and even in the half light with a couple of intersections to navigate I’m home and dry now. I feel elated now, as the day breaks, I’m as close to a wilderness environment as it’s possible to get whilst living in a major city. I have definite plans to get to a particular spot though, and disregarding the potential of the immediate area I’m in, I keep pushing forward. I come to the end of the track… I keep going. I’ve been down here before once, and it seemed impassable; the vegetation is too dense. What I have in mind is a cove that I know is around corner, but that I’ve only been to by access from road previously. So I have my pushbike over my shoulder, and I’m dragging it with me through tangled bush. I still don’t doubt the do’ableness of the exercise. Sure it’s a little hard going. I start having to circumnavigate swampy mangroves now. I have a little twinge of doubt around now, as I begin to wade in dense thickets of branches, bike on my shoulder… and what’s making matters worse is the big plastic child seat on the back of the bike. At this point I’m past knee deep in the sea, in mangroves so dense that I’m having to propel myself by ducking, and dragging branches out of the way at the same time as using all my body weight to force my self and cargo forwards towards what looks like slightly less dense bush ahead.

T 06:00 - Whether folly or just pure madness I don’t know, but although I’m not out the other side yet, I start to determine that the goal is not too far ahead now. I don’t exactly feel weary, but I am looking fondly ahead to where I can see some large coastal pines on the peninsula. Soon enough I stumble onto a rocky cove, and the feeling of elation returns, but the resonance is deeper this time. I feel like I just navigated the north west passage, I see the remnants of habitation strewn around – beer bottles, extinguished fires etc, but from my esoteric point of view, I have touched down on uncharted lands, and from this point my journey transitions into the return leg. I have not arrived at the cove I was aiming for, but I have established the essence of what I had in mind. My whole perception is an ongoing satori, I’m kind of seeing the world with new eyes, or a new world with my old eyes. I forge on, traversing a shelly beach to the next peninsular, and from there I hop over a fence into farmland.

07:00 – I take strength now in the certain knowledge that I’m getting back on the well trodden path. I throw myself over a farm fence and get electrocuted – my bike is stuck and it’s live. I think about having to leave it, but I use my knowledge of science to disentangle it. I get onto a track, I pass some cattle, I head for a gate up ahead, and now I’m back on the road again. At this point I make a small slip. I believe I have gone a particular route, and although in fact I’m going the opposite direction, my new eyes don’t see any sign until instead of being one place I’m another. Luckily all routes lead to home, and the way I’ve actually gone is by far the most preferable. I’ve met a couple of lycra clad fellow cyclists by this point, and imagine I must cut quite a figure in my muddy combats with saucer wide eyes! I really need a drink of water as well. I can hold out I figure.

08:00 to 10:00 – the 40 minute or so ride ahead of me is uneventful, pleasant enough if a little demanding physically. It’s a glorious Sunday morning, minimal road traffic, and a pervading sense of peace and quiet seems to be infusing the urban landscape. The distance between any one point and the next seems to be exaggeratedly long. These new eyes I’ve got in my head are noticing so much more detail than normal that the most familiar of sights appear as if previously unexplored. Upon arriving at my home, I first greet my family, and begin to clean up. I can still feel the effects of the cacti, but it’s now subdued enough for me to interact with them easily enough.

10:00 to 16:00 - I appear to have plenty of cleaning and tidying to do at home before I feel comfortable enough to take my rest. I had fluids straight away, but waited a few hours before taking any nourishment – a bunch of fruit was the ticket there. Had a light nap, and spent the rest of the day recreationally. Tired but contented.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104828
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 40
Published: Apr 24, 2019	Views: 780
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Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1), Various (28)