DOSE:		smoked	Cannabis
		smoked	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

65 kg

I'm one of those who’s always been crazy fascinated with psychoactives and since the first day I learnt the name of DMT I've had the undying urge to experience what it has to offer. Obviously, eventually this was achieved and this is what happened.

My previous experience with psyochoactives entailed namely LSD, Salvia divinorum and MDMA giving me a view into the reaches of my world and what is possible, so to speak. Always have I had no self-restraint with these matters and recklessly have I delved into the unknown (to myself or my peers) in search of knew and fascinating experiences and of course with the knowledge of DMT being the 'spirit molecule', I absolutely had to discover what it was hiding from me and with haste for impatient is my nature.

I was 19 (and naive) and fresh were the wonders of the untraceable internet to me when I received my package of the compound through the post. At the time I was working in a call center, a high pressured, stressful and somewhat demoralising place of work which unsurprisingly did no good for my general mood.

I had just finished work for the day when I chose to have the experience, and with me to keep me sane was a good friend and sitter for the occasion. It was around 8:00pm the light of day had long faded and so I decided to waste no time as I had practice for my band to attend. I sat down on my bed as was routine after a long day, filled my trusty bong with a fair amount of cannabis as a filler (mistake, would recommend something psychoactively neutral) guessed out an amount of DMT and prepared to experience god.

Having took the hit I waited several seconds to feel the onset, disregarding the effect of the weed. My body began to feel heavy, mainly in the chest area and other sensations indescribable. I lay down and watched in awe as typical psychedelic patterns began creeping their way along the ceiling and walls all about to meet in the middle when it suddenly subsided and eventually faded to nothing.

My resolution to this was that I had not smoked enough and so was I determined and curious, I proceeded to refill the bong with more weed and considerably more DMT (in hindsight probably too much).

This is when s**t got real.

The same sensations came back to me after several more seconds, however this time, understandably, much stronger and faster, along with the weed having somewhat of an intense effect on my mind. The weighting sensation on my body felt as though it was forcing me backwards onto my bed, and looking up at the ceiling I managed to glimpse the last traces of reality for some time as everything was about to be engulfed by the aforementioned psychedelic patterns. This period, the height of my trip, is hard to describe.

All around me I could perceive nothing but colours, patterns and feelings and it was truly awesome, I was in awe. I could feel myself travelling through this universe of psychedelia and somehow also see myself amongst it all, blasting through a tunnel of movement and wonder constantly arriving at new destinations, sensations and experiences. There was constant motion and no time for rest which eventually seemed to overwhelm me and gave me the desire to come back to normality. I felt as though my mortal physical body was in danger and I had to snap out of this trance. I cannot say for sure where this panic came from but over a year later I put it down to a combination of a stressful job and the sudden rush of cannabis. Or something like that.

So I woke up, but not to where I hoped to be. The effects of the drug were still in full swing and I began to feel stressed as I had no control, simply wanting it to be over, although I was fully aware of what I had taken.

This is when s**t got really real. There are two accounts of what happened here and both are true; what was actually happening and what was happening in my mind.

What happened in reality was, in an attempt to distract my mind, I began to get changed ready for band practice but stopped with no clothes on apart from my underwear (thankfully), proceeded to the conclusion I had lost my mind on random drugs that I had bought off the internet and made my way downstairs to call for help. I got halfway down the stairs when I remembered I had a friend with me who could perhaps talk sense to me and so returned to my room, where I stood in the corner contemplating what was going on. I then turned off all the lights and went to my friend who, seemingly oblivious to my odd actions, I slapped around the face and declared he was not real. At this he explained to me annoyedly that what I was going through was normal and I would be okay within the hour and with this I began to calm and turned the TV on for confirmation I was sane.

Now what happened in my mind was terrifying. I had no concept of time or space and thus everything was happening out of order, in an impossible sequence of events, and repeatedly. One minute I would be there getting undressed, the next halfway down the stairs, then back to getting undressed again, the next hitting my dear friend and so on like this for what felt like hours. All these events felt as though they were happening at once and continuously. I felt trapped in some infinite loop of madness no matter what I tried doing and I believed it was all because I had taken too much.

As soon as I began to gain some form of sensible thought back, which I believe to be when I was stood in the corner of the room, having just experienced impossibility in what appeared to be reality I concluded that I was trapped inside my own mind, which I perceived my room to be a metaphor of. This was aided by the fact I had only made it halfway downstairs then 'teleported' back to my room. I thought the DMT had locked me in some crazy prison and it would be my task to escape, to which I decided my friend who sat idly by was not real just a projection from my mind. So at this thought I decided I could do anything and things would simply pop back to the way they were which is why I hit him (I have apologised profusely since this event).

Eventually with his explanation of events and what was happening to me I was sure I would be okay again, and for confirmation I was not imagining this all I switched on the TV and saw the news and adverts and real things happening.

For about an hour afterwards I still seemed in some maniacal state of mind trying to describe what had just happened to me but eventually this subsided and I regained my cool, still glimpsing psychedelic patterns however.

In conclusion this had been a horrible experience at the time but after a matter of weeks and even now as I type I’m realising how amazing it was. I feel I reached the height of what is safely possible to experience through psychedelics and only wish now that I had took more in and kept my thoughts together but I guess in the end trying to do so on large amounts of DMT is what did it for me in the end.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 105010
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jun 16, 2021	Views: 575
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Cannabis (1), DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1)