DOSE: T+ 0:00	15 mg	sublingual	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:00		insufflated	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:10	1 cart.	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)
T+ 1:30			Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:55		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 2:00	1 cart.	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)
T+ 2:10	17 mg		Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:40		inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)
T+ 4:40			Etizolam

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

Consumed between 40 and 60 mg MXE total over 2+ hours, beginning with 10-15mg sublingually at 11:20pm with subsequent doses of roughly 10mg beginning about an hour later then continuing after t+1:20 and t+1:40. This report is written in retrospect aided by tentative notes taken during the trip.

At 11:35 I began to feel very jittery and uncomfortable, highly similar to the beginning stage of a lower plateau DXM trip. Not much else was noted until about 20 or so minutes later when I began to feel slightly drunk. I was definitely more talkative with K and M, with both of whom I am close friends and have been for years. It's worth noting that they are in a long-term relationship and both took 1.5-2mg of etizolam but no MXE.

At 12:20, about an hour after dosing I decided to take another small dose. I split 14mg into 2 piles and snorted one, so anywhere between 5 and additional mg consumed. At 12:30 I noted 'feeling a little trippy'. Shortly after this I decided to load a whippit into my whipped cream dispenser, I only had 5 so I'd had to be calculative in using them to enhance the experience. This first whippit was when the visuals of the trip became pronounced. The nitrous high lasted significantly longer than it would had I only smoked pot, and the intensity was similar to nitrous mixed with DXM. The entire experience at this point was reminding me very closely of my two experiences with 2nd plateau doses of DXM without some of the nastier side effects. My thought process remained intact but less inhibited and more fluid; I went from thought to thought quickly. I was easily able to walk, albeit a little more wobbly, thankfully MXE doesn't seem to produce the intense robowalk and I found moving about the apartment highly pleasurable.

Around 12:50 I consumed the rest of the 14mg that I had measured earlier, but can't remember whether sublingually or snorted, most likely a combination. At this point both K and M were strongly under the influence of etizolam, M falling asleep and K saying 'I feel drunk as fuck', he doesn't drink alcohol. I now felt strongly dissociated from my body and hardly noticed tactile sensations. At 1 AM or so K began rolling a joint for which I highly impatiently paced as I wanted to smoke before taking another whippit. I played music out loud on my phone while he sloppily rolled the joint, the music was enhanced in the distinctive dissociative fashion; every sound hit very distinct and the music felt like it was created for listening under the influence of a dissociative. It's comparable to, however not as enhanced, as my only first plateau experience with DXM and about as enhanced as phenibut music. At this time we decide to watch a movie, we'd flipped through Netflix for quite some time, and had watched Adventure Time on the come up. We decided on Silver Linings Playbook, perhaps not the best idea when MXE's fame belongs to its tendency to inject the user into films and video games.

At Maybe 1:15 he scrapped the joint and put the remaining pot in a bowl which we each hit two or three times (I have low marijuana tolerance and smoke infrequently) M passed out at this point but woke up to hit the bowl which I found amusing. After finishing the joint I took another whippit which sent me into the shaman hole which I'd visited once already on DXM, weed and nitrous. This time was not as intense, though at the time it was the second most intense drug induced state I'd experienced: complete dissociation as my visual field became replaced with green patterns that expand to a vastness than my visual field cannot otherwise input. (I have red-green color blindness and dissociatives always tint my vision green). The patterns bore similarity to the patterns I always see on nitrous after smoking weed, little spiral peppermints which spin like cogs in a large machine. This time however the peppermints were not small but very large and incredibly expansive, and required no concentration to distinguish them as is occasionally the case with nitrous.

As is generally the case with nitrous my CEVs had now become permanently (for the remainder of the trip) more pronounced, and with little concentration were clear with my eyes open. 1:30 I measure 17mg with the help of K and my phone's camera to ensure I wasn't fucking up the decimals. Again I split the dose into two more or less even lines and ingested them either snorted or sublingually about 15 minutes apart. I had already begun to feel myself slipping into a hole and became determined to dig deeper.

By 1:48 I noted on my phone that I consumed 'the rest of the 17mg so like 40mg total maybe' But I now have a feeling I may not have accounted for a dose and regardless with such small amounts it's impossible to know exactly how many mg I consumed. So I'll call it between 45 and 60mg over a decent 2:30 hours.

I loaded up one more nitrous canister before K and M went to sleep, this was near 2 AM. This canister lasted an incomprehensible period of time, as consistent with my previous two and featured a highly intense phlanging with the distinct pulsating thump I get with nitrous on top of dissociatives. Again I entered shaman land where time seems to exist all at once instead of in a linear fashion , I'll describe this in more detail later. This canister seemed to last a particularly long time though, even after I was able to see reality again I didn't feel the nitrous had come down very much for several minutes. Nitrous as usual felt like it had a compounding effect with each canister bookmarking an epoch of the trip.

On the comedown my only words were 'Bradley Cooper' as I'd finally identified the main character of Silver Linings Playbook. Unfortunately right about here we got to the scene where Cooper's family gets into a physical fight. This really upset me and I nearly cried, yelling at the screen, 'Please let the police come'. I turned the movie off after K and M left the room to go to sleep. This time, about 2:15, I loaded my final two canisters as the MXE had begun to pull me into a hole of tunnel vision and strange spiraling patterns as I lie on the couch in darkness. As usual with two canisters I began by 'sipping' it a little bit then taking a larger hit, taking a deep breath of air and holding it in until I began to feel it, then exhaling and repeating until the dispenser depleted.

I'll now describe the territory of dissociation I refer to as the shaman zone. If you've read Slaughterhouse V and followed the idea of Tralfamadorian perception of time, this sensation is somewhat similar. Imagine time is a linear function that we are 'stuck' in so to speak as we only experience one x point and generally move along the line at a fixed rate. This experience is as if there is a second axis perpendicular to time where I swing out in the fashion of a pendulum, reaching the outer depths of this axis where I am capable of seeing more and more continuous time all at once. This feeling is accompanied by an ego death where I have no concept of myself existing beyond a sense of vibration. The first time I experienced this second axis of time, my first thought by the end was 'I have reached enlightenment'. At this first experience (with DXM, weed and two nitrous canisters) my profound realization was that God is not a separate entity from anything or anyone, it is rather the entirety of everything in the universe and we are all the functioning parts of God. Now however with MXE I had been pulled even further out and saw even more of the x time axis. Considering that dissociatives are active by antagonising NMDA receptors, highly important in the formation of memories, it is no surprise that I seemed to experience my entire life in one moment that lasted either no instance of time, or every instance of time. The visuals during this experience are un/fortunately indescribable, but with DXM it appeared as though I watched the formation and final form of the universe fill itself around black holes. This hole state also consistently sends me into a meaningless thought loop of intense euphoria.

My profound realization during this experience was that there is no such thing as objective reality. Of course when you think about it this is hardly profound and actually fairly obvious. We only have our combined subjective realities, but even then we are only one species and thus only have our own interpretation of consciousness which is so limited that we can hardly even communicate with species that share 98% of our DNA. Not to mention that plant life likely experiences forms of consciousness that we could only begin to imagine. The experience of plant life is the largest question that MXE has thrusted upon me, and in the small amount of time googling I've found that plants do produce neurotransmitters including dopamine, serotonin and GABA. Perhaps a plant like cannabis sits around all day in a state of happy, hungry, sleepiness. Anyway, I decided after this nitrous load that I had completed my journey and wanted to go to sleep. Little did I know I would still have intense visuals for the next two hours, until 4 AM when I decided they had calmed down enough and it would be safe for me to consume a bit of etizolam to fall asleep.

I woke up the next day at about 10:40 feeling a little groggy, but nowhere near hungover. I drank a cup of coffee (I have a slight caffeine dependence, I drink coffee and green tea every morning to try to upregulate my GABA receptors, for antioxidants, anti-aging, energy boost, seriously who the fuck isn't addicted coffee/tea with all these benefits) and was in a particularly good mood for the rest of the day.

It's now two days later and I am still in a better mood than usual, however again this morning I was incredibly irritable before drinking my coffee. The whole point of this experiment after all was to test the antidepressant properties of NMDAr antagonism of which I so often hear subjective attestations and now have read confirming medical research on. I do not currently have depressive symptoms, although have in the past, and it's also worth noting that I occasionally take nitrous and had my three DXM experiments in the last four or five months as well. Both nitrous and DXM produce an 'afterglow' for me, although DXM's also makes me feel a little stupider for the next couple so that's a tremendous deterrent. Nitrous's on the other hand is very mild and hardly noticeable, MXE's afterglow is by far the most favourable of the three thus far, and also the most enjoyable experience on its own.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 105423
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Mar 6, 2018	Views: 1,340
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Methoxetamine (527), Nitrous Oxide (40) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3)