DOSE:

1 hit

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

[This was written before the experience.]
Today is my birthday!!! I am an entire thirty-four years old today. It seems weird. My birthday is always weird. I never think of myself as being of any particular age. I guess I feel timeless until something, like my birthday or the wrinkles on my face, reminds me that I am living in a body that experiences entropy through time. How weird. As I look at the date at the top of the screen, it shows my birthday and it seems so weird because, every other time there has been a date up there, it hasn't been my birthday. Of course, this seems obvious, but there is a really interesting feeling about it that I guess I just can't explain.

I am going to do some chanting in a few minutes. I think I am going to chant the Gyatri mantra one hundred and eight times. That should give me a good spiritual start to the day. Maybe the date trips me out because today I am going to open the doors of perception and walk through them. I guess I am trying to formulate my goals for this trip and, quite frankly, I am seeking enlightenment. I don't care if people say that you can't or at least that you shouldn't use entheogens to reach the state of enlightenment. I realize that I can't follow anyone else anymore, not that I can't learn from them, but that I am at a point where my path diverges towards the One and I am growing away from the physical conformity of this world, while drawing closer to the spiritual oneness with all living beings. It is at this point that I realize that only Gaya Herself can teach me because I am close enough now to hear the Teacher for myself. So my goal is to listen intently to the Teacher and walk further down the path, not that I want to force this, but I would like to open myself to the possibility of such a thing.

I would also like to know what the connection is between my love and me, but that is less important than enlightenment itself. I'd rather know nothing of my past lives and have enlightenment than learn about every one of my past lives and be stuck in the past instead of the now. I don't think any true spiritual experience is in anything but the now either, except that maybe all time converges eventually into the same thing. I am glad that I am choosing to chant and meditate first today. I just know today is going to be awesome! It looks like it is going to be extremely windy today. I want to fool everyone into thinking that I left and went to work and then I'm going to close the blinds and sit here meditating all day, with the usual breaks for using the restroom and eating. I have to remember to call my mom before I get started with too much of this so she can sing me happy birthday. I might call my best friend too. I just know today is going to be amazing! I am finally getting what I want for my birthday and that is to have some peace and quiet in spiritual bliss on my birthday! Now I can think of some other things that I am seeking today, which one would hope would be included in enlightenment, but I want to specify them anyway. I would like to be more loving and more kind. I know we are all interconnected and even that we are one, but sometimes I dissociate from this reality. God only knows why. I also want to seek my true direction in life. Am I banging my head up against a wall going down the path I'm on to become a doctor? Or is it just a matter of being patient and waiting? Should I try to find a graduate school that is specifically doing cannabis research so I can continue my own research? Or should I just study something distantly related so that I can get out of destitution while I wait for medical schools to be sensible enough to take me? What do I do? I hope the wind does not disturb me. It is supposed to be pretty fast around here and it makes an incredible sound.

[This was written during the experience.]
Happy birthday to me, I'm frying on really great acid. I can hardly read what I am writing in some senses and, in others, it is as clear as day if you can ignore all of the weird shapes spiraling around everywhere. I thought this was going to be more of a spiritual trip, but I guess I should be glad it isn't a bad trip what will all the wind out there. Oh my goodness! :-D

OM isn't a sound; it's an existence. I feel like I am typing from there to get to here, which is also there. I know this sounds funny, which is why I typed it. I am having the hardest time drinking anything or doing anything, but staring at all the weird things in front of my face. It's a wonder that I'm such a good typist, when everything is on swirling psychedelic paper all the time. I guess I'd rather watch it than describe it. Perhaps I won't be any more help than anyone else who has tried to document this stuff. It just must be tried... and tried... and tried... Okay, the wind is blowing, making all the words look loooonnnngggeerrrr. MInd=blown. Sometimes I wonder, has everyone been listening to me laughing to myself for the last two hours. It's 1:28pm, whatever that means, and my temperature is around its usual: 98.1 F. What is difficult is typing, but it's not because I can't do it, it's because I'd just rather pay attention to the background.
Everything is the coolest thing I have ever seen! I can see the words here, but they are outlined by the same shape, but in color. I have a hard time not watching the color form on the words as I type them. There are also a few words that seem to be melting. Oh well. At least I can still read and type on this stuff. I think all these things were too intense on mushrooms. I just thought my plants had all blown off my patio and I had to open the blinds a smidgen to check on them. There are psychedelic squiggles behind all the words that I'm typing right now. My cats aren't even alarmed this time. They've seen their momma tripping before. Now I'm starting to hear trippy sounds. Oh, I guess it's just more wind. It seems like all the keys I am hitting on the keyboard are lit up and that's part of why writing this is so psychedelic. Oh, this has just configured the eyes to see like prisms. I wonder if these aren't just the shimmerings of another dimension. These other dimensions are always here, but the normal eye is unable to see them. They are the visible connections between all living beings and they are peace and beauty. Everyone really wants both peace and beauty.

This is what I'm doing here now.

I just saw green university lettering but, for some odd reason, I couldn't make out what it said. It was something I saw written on the screen! Man, I love this stuff! Here the wind is blowing at ridiculous speeds outside and I am in here seeing writing on the fucking screen! I hope they are canceling school for the day. What? Do they want all the students to blow away!?

The candle is saying, 'I am fire! I am fire!' Don't worry though because only the candle is on fire. The wick is weird in a Moses'-burning-bush way weird because it looks like it is on fire, but not getting burnt up. I wonder if Moses got himself into ergot?

There's just something special about this screen. Even when the other screens don't seem to have all these rainbow patterns on them, I always find them here. I wonder if this will continue. I wish it would. I have now written as much tripping as I did whilst still sober. This should make an interesting comparison. It looks like the icons on the computer are dancing and the dance must be called the wave.

The candle looked like God to me and I felt bad because I wasn't paying any attention to it. I didn't have to feel bad though because I don't have to be paying attention to hear God since God can speak to the core of anyone's being. In fact, God is always speaking to the core of people's beings so how can any of us not listen? People go far and wide looking for God, but there is nowhere to go but within.

I think some of the effects are diminishing although there are still trippy colors surrounding my typing and it is still mesmerizing, as is proper spelling and grammar. Naturally. :-D The wind also seems to be slowing down.

Now I hear a bunch of random sounds and, instead of seeing trippy colors behind what I am writing, it looks hazy. It's as if I am hearing some kind of foreign language and, although there is a pattern, I can't quite write it down. I guess it's because it starts out with honks then uberland boing ching. See, now that only barely approximates it. It is so true that some things can't be put into words.

So I guess some of it's wearing off, because it is much easier to see what I am typing now. Here's what it says, 'milk oil orange juice uberland boing ching.' It's as if I am hearing that, but I'm perfectly aware that it's inside of my mind. All of these things have been inside of my mind and I have just been sitting here all day. I guess what's happening now is that I'm hearing all the past noises, but in random snippets or something. Many of the words are discombobulated (amazed that I spell that correctly the first time!) versions of two or three words. I am hearing them as the sound track by which I will eventually become sober once more, just like I previously had a background of trippy colors.

I was looking at the wind map and I saw the Wind Goddess. She is beautiful. I guess the effects are just shifting. I almost wish life could be like this, but I'd never eat anything and that will eventually be necessary. I wish I felt like I could light a decent fire. Maybe the wind calmed down enough for me to light a successful fire. I'll have to think about that.

I know what all the random sounds are. Instead of the usual blah blah that goes on inside my head all the time, the sounds have been transformed into randomness which is not nearly so distracting. The thoughts usually try to grab and possess the experience, but now they are a part of the experience. What's valuable about the psychedelic experience is that it makes the demarcation between the true self and the surroundings apparent, even though one's true self is one with everything else.

I just lit a fire in the fireplace easily and it's beautiful! I guess I'm going to trip out on the fire for a while. I am still feeling it, seven hours after it began! Wowie!

I am still experiencing lingering sensations and visuals at 7:06pm, over eight hours after the experience began!

8:18pm and it's still not totally over. I have burned all the wood and the rest of the Corona box. I am thinking of getting in the tub to end things out nicely. I think the effects are mostly over, but I still feel an altered sense and very deep relaxation. There's no lying; I'm a psychonaut.

I saw trippy patterns from the ripples of water in the bathtub. I didn't add soap to my bath, so it was not there to interfere with the viewing of the ripples. I also saw a pattern of little cannabis leaves covering the walls of the tub. This was right before 9:30pm.

At 9:30pm, I finally got hungry and ravenously so. I only brought chocolate to the bath with me and I finally held myself back because I didn't want to get a stomach ache from it. Now, nearly 10pm, eleven hours later, I am finally eating my pizza.

11pm, twelve hours after the whole adventure began, the effects have *almost* completely worn off. I think it's time to go to bed. Hopefully, my neighbors will cooperate.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 105813
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Apr 28, 2020	Views: 757
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LSD (2), Meditation (128) : Personal Preparation (45), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)