Perplexing Somethingness
DOET & Nitrous Oxide
Citation: Xorkoth. "Perplexing Somethingness: An Experience with DOET & Nitrous Oxide (exp107296)". Erowid.org. Jan 9, 2016. erowid.org/exp/107296
DOSE: T+ 6:30 |
inhaled | Nitrous Oxide | (gas) | |
T+ 0:00 | 3 mg | oral | DOET | (powder / crystals) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 160 lb |
It arrived as a fine powder, pretty unremarkable looking, homogenized and white with a faint generic psychedelic phenethylamine odor. I put it into 23mL of vodka after weighing it, which it dissolved into immediately and completely. I had it in solution for a week or so when a Saturday arrived with no responsibilities, and I decided to try my first dose. I had taken a tiny allergy test dose when I got it, 500ug, which had no discernible effect except a faint alert. I spent some time refreshing myself on the available reports (not much, mostly just the PIHKAL entries), and I decided upon a dose of 3mg. I knew this would probably get into light full dose territory but I don't have much of this and I feel confident in my ability to handle psychedelics. I felt that 3mg was unlikely to be unmanageable and would probably give me a good idea of what the effects of DOET are like.
My notes I took at the time begin here, followed by a recollection of the rest of it from memory, written within a few days of the experience.
12:00 noon on 10/24/15 - Ingested 3mg of DOET in alcohol solution. Taste was only of the cheap vodka I used. I took my blood pressure reading just beforehand and got a reading of 127/58, with a heart rate of 60 beats per minute. Settling in to do about 30 minutes of work (on a Saturday, ugh). My potential plans for the day are to maybe take a hike when I start coming up, or maybe go work out, and definitely head over a little later to my friends' house to jam and hang out.
12:44 - Definitely feeling some light alerts. So far I feel as if the come-up will be slow and gentle. Just finished my work, and now I'm thinking of walking over to a nearby trail and hiking a bit. It's a beautiful Fall day and nature is always a great place to spend a come-up in. It feels like I shouldn't just be sitting in my house at my computer for this. Took BP again, now it reads 109/75 with 59 bpm, and then right afterwards 123/75 and 60bpm.
1:04 - It seems my friends would like to join me on my hike, so my plans have shifted to a group hike and afterwards obtaining some nitrous for this evening. I also just found out someone is making ALD-52 available which is just crazy; it's been almost a myth for so long now, ever since Orange Sunshine and the controversy over whether it was really ALD-52 or LSD. What a time we live in! I also just took .6mg more of DOET; it simply felt right. So far I feel very nice, there is a warm, stable feeling growing in my chest and I am in good humor. I'm starting to feel a pleasant energy in my limbs and I think hiking will be perfect. If I stare at something, my eyes have a tendency to slowly come unfocused. After the hike I suspect I will be heading back with my friends to their place to hang out and play music. I'll bring some paper and a pen with me so I can take notes.
1:12 - BP reading: 131/77 and 60bpm. This feels more stimulating than DOPr, but I don't feel like I'm on a stimulant. I actually like that it feels more stimulating than DOPr. This is getting my bowels moving like DOC does, or like anything stimulating does. My friends just said they were heading out in about 30 minutes, so I've got a little more time to poke around here. Perhaps I should clean my kitchen up a bit. I just felt a wave of effect wash over me. Difficult to describe but it reminded me of DOC in its feeling. There are similarities to the DOC feeling for sure, with (so far) significantly less peripheral effects.
1:35 - The feeling is becoming stronger at a consistent rate. Nothing specifically visual yet, but things are taking on that intense look that happens on psychedelics. The feeling has grown to the point where I feel like I need to be doing something (the same as with DOC). I just cleaned my kitchen up, now it's time to go towards that hike. I've gathered up my things, fed my cats early dinner since it's unlikely I'll be back home tonight, and I'm preparing to walk on out of here.
2:31 (Copied from paper notes taken on the hike, the only note I bothered to take for the rest of the day) - This has become much more physically intense. Come-up feelings are reminiscent of DOC's come-up feelings (that is, intense and kind of jangly but not fearful)
Come-up feelings are reminiscent of DOC's come-up feelings (that is, intense and kind of jangly but not fearful)
* * * *
After this entry I stopped taking notes. My friends finally arrived and we set off to hike. One of my friends had a feeling I'd bring my backpack, which had his shoes in it from our last hike, so he just assumed I'd bring it and never called me to ask if I could, but I forgot (because I forgot to bring water, it's what always reminds me I want my backpack). So, he elected to go on the hike barefoot. He and I do a lot of barefoot hiking on rivers and even through the forest, but I recommended against it to him for this hike due to gravel and leaf cover hiding potentially sharp impediments on the forest floor and plenty of jagged rocks, and offered him my hiking boots or shoes and I would wear the other; however, he declined. This would factor into my experience later so I'm glad it happened, although I felt bad for my friend because by the end he was suffering quite a bit.
By the time we started walking, the DOET had set in much more completely. I found that the physical presence of it was very strong; it felt both nice and somewhat edgy and uncomfortable at the same time. Early on I had noted that there were less peripheral effects than DOC has, but as time went on that changed. I never felt physically threatened in terms of being afraid for my health, but the sensation was slightly threatening in its energy, which consisted of a very strong coursing feeling of energy pulsing out from my solar plexus. It felt similar to DOC except that with DOC I can easily focus that energy into a sparkly euphoria, whereas with DOET there was no euphoria to speak of, it was a very neutral feeling. Hiking helped to dissipate my discomfort (when I was sitting there waiting for my friends it started to become uncomfortable and hectic feeling), but a faint edge of uneasiness remained with me until much later. I didn't feel energized either, in a stimulant sense, or even in a DOC sense. I didn't have a lack of energy by any means, I just didn't feel any additional energy, which I found odd because it felt like I should have a load of physical energy in my muscles along with the feeling of energy that was so intense within me. The energy within me that I refer to was not a movement energy, it was a feeling, kind of electric/buzzing yet somehow velvety too, that literally felt like I had plugged into some source that was pulsing its energy through me like an outlet. I also began to notice a twinge of stomach discomfort, which is noteworthy since I hardly ever get that from psychedelics, and in particular with DOC and DOPr I don't get it at all.
Despite the tinge of discomfort I was experiencing, I was having a nice time as we hiked along, conversing and laughing. I noticed a somewhat mescaline-like effect on my vision, where although there was no real visual distortion to speak of, everything looked beautiful and striking and colors were enhanced. It was the middle of Fall in all its glory in the North Carolina mountains, so enhancement of colors was easily noted and well appreciated. I found myself staring, transfixed on the riot of red and orange and yellow and coral and green, my eyes seeming to be trying to physically draw it all in. I never looked or asked my friends about it, but I felt like my pupils were huge, larger than they usually are on psychedelics. At the same time though, I couldn't figure out what the drug was really doing to me. The primary effect seemed to be the body trip, which was intense and both calm and edgy at the same time. I was at peace but also in conflict, a true dichotomy. My mind did not seem propelled to thought and association, unlike DOC, LSD, tryptamines, or many other things. Neither did I feel any feelings of spirituality. I was not compelled to talk much, I participated in conversation and enjoyed it but I felt relatively quiet. Physically I was feeling things quite strongly. It seemed like there was some sort of entactogenic quality to it except it didn't precisely feel good. I did feel good sometimes, but through it all was a vein of unrest and faint anxiety.
As we progressed further and further, my shoe-less friend began to walk more slowly. We turned around earlier than we had originally planned to because of this, and when we started going back downhill it became harder for him than it was going uphill, because he now had to step down with each step instead of up (and hence impact his feet to the ground with more force) so he had to use his quads and knees with every step to make sure he stepped softly. At some point he gashed his big toe open, not too bad but definitely painful and in need of dressing when we got back. It clearly became very challenging and painful for him to keep walking, he had stopped talking and was grimacing with each step, but we had probably about an hour to go to get back still. I noticed that I was really feeling for him strongly. Of course anyone with empathy would feel bad for their friend in this situation, but this was well beyond the way I would normally feel about it. I became fairly preoccupied with making sure he was okay. I kept almost feeling his pain in my feet, and it became a little harder for me to walk too because of the sensations. It was actually pretty unpleasant for me on the way back because I was really concerned for him, and I felt like I was taking on his pain and mental state. At one point I had the thought that maybe I was taking some of it from him to give him the strength to keep going, but I never thought to ask him if he felt that way. After a while I realized that the DOET was probably increasing my level of empathy.
After a while I realized that the DOET was probably increasing my level of empathy.
Eventually we made it back to the car and got in, and some of the tension left me as we turned on some music and just sat and traveled, but I still had the same underlying tension going on that seemed to be a part of this experience. We decided to go to the grocery store to get some food, and then downtown to a little shop where they sell nitrous. As we got into the valley there were more and more people around us and I felt a faint feeling of threat which grew as we got closer in to town. It was pretty much fine in the car, although I found the traffic to be a bit unnerving, but at the store I was sharply uncomfortable. All those people all around me, doing things, talking, exerting their wills... I could feel it all acutely and it was disorienting and disconcerting; it made me feel vulnerable and like I couldn't hold on to myself because of all of the conflicting emotional/energetic input from others, it was subsuming me. I was glad to get out of there. Then we went downtown and it was absolutely packed with tourists... the entire time was stop and go traffic (mostly stop), with people stopped in the middle of intersections at red lights, people walking across the street, music playing. It was chaos, and it was making me feel almost a bit panicky, definitely jumpy and intensely uncomfortable. Eventually we made it to the shop and I got out and went in to buy some nitrous (one box for each of us). Buying the nitrous, interacting with the clerks, was a bit weird, but they were cool so it was a welcome reprieve from the situation outside. Going back into civilization was making me realize that I was very altered indeed, but it was still maddeningly difficult to determine why. It was almost like I wasn't tripping, yet I was, undeniably. I just couldn't figure out what it was doing to my mind, but it was definitely something.
Shortly, nitrous in hand (or rather, in bag), I went back outside and we took off. Fortunately there's a quick back way out of downtown and my friend's house is pretty close, so the rest of the ride back wasn't too bad though honestly just being in the car was feeling strange to me. At long last we made it back to the house and I began to shake off the tension of being in such a clusterfuck of people and being very concerned for my friend. We sat down in the living room and within ten minutes we collectively decided to crack into the nitrous (pun intended). I decided to start off with three chargers and really go for it. I cracked two into the dispenser, and loaded up the third so I could crack it in after the first hit when there would be enough room to hold it all without some shooting back out. My friend put on some music, it ended up being Jay-Z which suited me fine. Thus prepared, I sat down and breathed deeply a few times, centered myself as well as possible, and began. For reference, it was about 6:30pm, so T+6:30 from when I dosed.
I took the first hit slowly, feeling moderately nervous about it, filling my lungs almost as much as I could, and filling them out with a small bit of regular air to avoid the panic of feeling asphyxiated, or diminish it anyway. I always find with nitrous that it's a challenge to hold my breath as long as I want to because I start to feel the lack of oxygen acutely, and something about it being nitrous oxide instead of oxygen makes that feeling much stronger. The familiar low-range nitrous buzz started creeping in, and my being was filled with the intense hum and ringing that characterizes the experience. After an attempt to hold it for 10 seconds, I exhaled and took the next, and closed my eyes. The buzz grew sharply in intensity and I crossed the threshold where suddenly it seems to quickly seep into many other levels of perception, and my hearing became dramatically altered. The music was glitching when I exhaled again and took the third, long hit. The buzz became everything.
And then, the Moment happened. My eyes shot open. Something had just been happening, something profound. When did it happen? When did it change from a powerful humming buzz into whatever it is that just happened that had me coming back to consciousness on the tail of such a powerful and instantaneous series of events? I looked around in a mix of awe and suspicion; I looked right, and heard the pop of something cooking on the stove colored with the most familiar and meaningful distortion of sound, like some sort of feedback. I looked left and a voice carried a similar but different sound distortion. And then the music started coming back, and my friend's voice drifted slowly into my ear. Every sound was colored by a different distortion, and as reality wound back into existence the sounds became an impossibly rapid staccato series that triggered in me a deep primordial remembrance.
the sounds became an impossibly rapid staccato series that triggered in me a deep primordial remembrance.
Upon my rapid return to normality - comparatively speaking to nitrous reality anyway - I was left with a ringing sense of wonder. Wow, just wow! I bet that if I do that again, it'll become more clear! I resolved to do so, but I had to wait my turn. I watched as one friend and then the next filled up 3 chargers and went under. One friend came back laughing hysterically and bowing down as if in reverence to nitrous oxide's power, which provoked hilarity in me as well. I took a moment to take stock of my situation as I remembered I was also on DOET. I didn't feel that anything had developed in the trip content-wise, but I certainly did feel better physically. All traces of my uneasiness from before had dissipated and my body and mind felt loose and good. Also my sense of ease in communication and laughter was significantly higher. It felt like nitrous had scrubbed out the negative aspects of the trip, and it stayed that way for the rest of the night. I still had an increase in physical energy and I still felt the body high. There were still no visuals to speak of. However, at this point I was having a really nice time.
After maybe 10 minutes it was my turn for the nitrous again, so eagerly I loaded it up in the same manner as before. This time there was no nervousness, only excitement. The buzz grew quickly and smoothly, and the second hit made it infuse my being and aural field. Then the third hit took me away completely. BAM! An impossibly fast rush of thoughts, question leads to answer leads to another question leads to another answer, ad infinitum. In a crystal clear moment, I realize I am dying. I feel a moment of panic, then almost immediately let go without difficulty; after all, each moment frame is moving so rapidly to the next, and the next, and the next, and each moment I am a new being, so in a split second any attachments to Xorkoth were rendered obsolete and promptly forgotten.
At this point I entered the thought stream completely and I knew that I had discovered the answer to everything. But after that one timeless moment, I became aware of external sounds again, warped as they were. A voice slowly drifted across my consciousness. I opened my eyes out of reflex. Wait, hadn't I died? I looked right, and heard the pop of something cooking on the stove colored with the most familiar and meaningful distortion of sound, like some sort of feedback. I looked left and a voice carried a similar but different sound distortion. An incredible feeling of déja vu overcame me and the Moment began to unwind and reality pulled itself back together. I remembered the process of the sounds that were the clue to the incredible thing I had once again already forgotten the essence of, and it happened exactly the same this time, the same sequence of sounds, the same body movements, the same thought process. Only this time I made the decision to react to a particular point of the process, the point at which it slipped all the way away from me the previous time, a different way, feeling as if I had learned from the last time. It worked but my ignorance was revealed to me on the very next step, during which I failed to follow it because of some other aspect of myself, but I realized what had prevented it.
I got the sense that every time a person does nitrous, it's like a fresh attempt at the universe to understand itself and reach a singularity, and that every time we get one step closer, learn one more thing. It's difficult to describe this idea but it blew my mind pretty hard at the time. There's a lot more to it than I can put into words. The feeling actually reminded me very much at times of salvia, which is something I have thought at previous times using nitrous too. Each time I went back, I encountered this same exact déja vu sound/thought loop, always as I was beginning to reintegrate into the world. And each time I got just one step farther.
We continued taking turns at the nitrous for a total of 6 rounds. Each experience was more of the same for me, mindblowing each time. I started to feel like my lungs were suffering and I was a bit woozy after the fifth one, but I went ahead and did it a sixth time because the dispenser had gotten back around to me, and after all I always came out of it thinking what I had just experienced was the most incredible thing ever. During the sixth experience I also reached the point where I knew that I was dying, but this time the scene flashed to a grisly fatal car accident, tragic, out in the rain and night, all alone, and lingered there for what seemed a long time. I could see myself on the ground, torn and demolished, blood and bile spread around me as I feebly struggled to breathe. I felt the crushing feeling of that experience so strongly that I leaped up in despair, and the nitrous dissipated in a way that was chaotic and did not provide me with any feelings of understanding, simply a feeling of a strange sort of melancholy loss and shame. When I regained my composure I said to my friends 'Well, I'm done with that for now.' And I was. That final experience had left me feeling a little shaken so it seemed like a good place to stop. Plus each experience was getting more muddy than the last and my body was telling me to stop doing nitrous.
For the rest of the night, my friends and I listened to music and drank beers and smoked weed, basically a low-key weekend party. I had a very good time, the alcohol mixed well with the DOET (not surprising as I find alcohol mixes quite well with all the DOXs I've tried). It mixed better than it did with DOPr, in that there was some amount of synergy, but not as well as it does with DOC where it's a beautiful synergy. I suspect that the physical energy of the DOXs is what allows you to drink more alcohol and have it produce a more euphoric effect. DOPr doesn't seem to have much energy to it, while DOET and DOC do. DOC, however, especially in the plateau stage when I like to mix alcohol (never during the come-up or peak for DOXs, but during the plateau), produces a strong, clean euphoria as well as the energy, so it makes sense to me it would mix better than with DOET, since DOET does not seem to produce any marked euphoria. I stayed up quite late - eventually it was just me and one of my friends still up, at around 2:30am. By this time I still felt the DOET quite strongly, except now I was drunk, which was desired because I wanted to be able to sleep. We wanted to stay up a little longer, so we put on some music and loaded up another round of nitrous, since we had a little left.
I took 3 chargers just like the other times, only this time it made me utterly black out and just come to afterwards as the buzz was wearing off. It was like, hit, start feel the buzz, and the very next moment (it felt continuous) I was coming out of it saying 'wait, did I just do that?'. My friend started feeling nauseous after the nitrous and went to bed. I did one more, hoping I'd get something more - and also victim to the reduced ability to judge decisions from alcohol coupled with a romantic view of my earlier experiences - and the exact same thing happened. So it was a waste. The conclusion I've come to is that nitrous and alcohol aren't things to combine.
Well, around 3:30am, T+15:30, I tried going to bed (I was sleeping over at my friends' house where we had spent the entire evening and they had the guest room set up for me). But try as I might, I could not get even the slightest bit tired. It was just like my mind couldn't switch into sleep mode or even rest mode. With DOC sometimes the physical energy manifests in my limbs at around this timeframe after dropping, as I'm trying to sleep, and I have to move my legs around which makes me unable to sleep, but my mind is very comfortable and even drowsy with some residual euphoria. But with DOET, I didn't feel excess energy making me want to move. I could lay there comfortably. But my mind would just whirl, and honestly I was bored. I found throughout this DOET experience that my mind didn't have a lot of thoughts going on. I don't even recall thinking about anything in particular, it was just this internal energy that was happening that eliminated sleep from the realm of possibility. After tossing and turning for a bit, bored with my flaccid mind, I started watching episodes of Family Guy on my phone, which occupied my attention and was actually quite fun and amusing. I drank 3 more beers relatively quickly into this process, thinking I could knock myself out, but other than the alcohol feeling increasing, I had no luck with it, not one ounce more tired. Eventually, around 7am (T+19:00), my phone died, so I laid down to try to sleep. I got absolutely none; fortunately I was comfortable, but as I laid there until 10am when my friend got up, I was very bored and wished it would just be morning already.
Finally he woke up, and I emerged from the room, looking worse for the wear. He asked me how I slept and as I started to answer 'Not at all', I realized that my brain felt pretty scrambled, because it came out haltingly. I definitely still felt the DOET energy though I didn't feel like I was high on it anymore. It was like it left its energetic imprint on me and my body and mind were still reacting to that. My friend and I chatted with one-liners for about an hour, not very animated because of how semi-braindead I was at the time. I was continually losing my train of thought mid-sentence and could rarely get past a single statement at a time. We also smoked a bowl of marijuana, which helped me get me feeling a little less sketchy from lack of sleep, DOET, nitrous and alcohol the night before, but probably didn't help my wooziness. At 11am, he went to the gym to work out and went home. I was sober at this point other than the weed, I felt shaky but I did not still feel like I was on DOET, even though I could feel its lingering presence.
I got home and spent the day reading, watching TV, trying to get myself to do house work (unsuccessfully), and trying to sleep. Despite the fact that I felt very tired, I still couldn't sleep all day. I still had that emotional neutrality of DOET except since it was coupled with lack of sleep and feeling kind of cracked out, it was much less pleasant the day after than it was during the trip. During the trip it just was... I felt neutral emotionally, it wasn't a good or a bad thing. The next day though it felt bad, like I was flat-lined, only half alive inside. I laid down for 2 hours twice, and couldn't sleep a wink those times either. The last time I tried to sleep was 4pm to 6pm, which was T+28:00 to T+30:00. After I gave up on that attempt, I headed back over to the same friends' house because there was discussion of playing music and I thought that would help me get past this funk. We didn't end up playing music but I did play Super Smash Brothers with my friend (I never play video games but it seemed like the thing to do), and that actually helped me turn it around, along with my friend who is hilarious. He was in a bit of a funk that day too, but soon we had each other in hysterics and had a variety of epic matches on the game that were really fun. Once I turned it around, it stayed turned around. I realized I no longer felt the remnant energy of DOET in my body and I was smiling and fully there. So, pretty early, I headed home and finally fell asleep at about 12 midnight (T+36:00). I slept for 9 hours and the next day I woke up feeling relatively drained but in good spirits.
* * * *
So that about does it for my first DOET report. I honestly am not sure what to make of it. Like 2C-E, there seems to be a definite emotional neutrality and objectivity, but at least at 3mg, that's where the similarities to 2C-E end. I was expecting something more classically psychedelic, and I can't help but feel a little let down after so many years of dreaming about the amphetamine analogue of 2C-E, which is one of my favorite substances. It wasn't terrible by any means, but it was rather uncomfortable all things considered. There were a few positive effects, a lot of neutral effects, and a fair amount of negative effects. There was next to no visual display, only a brightening of color a la mescaline that was definitely beautiful and appreciated. Mostly, the headspace was not really what I normally find in a psychedelic headspace, in fact I am hard-pressed to really describe what it was like, or what it was doing in there. It seems like DOET, at least at this dosage, might be a very atypical psychedelic. It was definitely doing something, and that something was being done quite strongly to me, and I was quite altered, especially behaviorally.
Like the other DOXs, it mixes fine with alcohol and weed, quite well actually.
Like the other DOXs, it mixes fine with alcohol and weed, quite well actually.
So overall I was not very impressed with this trial. I do plan to take it at 6-7mg also, as PIHKAL says it seems best at that level. I'm nervous to do it because of the negatives about this experience, and a fear that they will increase proportionally. But it does feel a bit like I just dosed high enough to get a definite effect, but too low for the full nature of the drug to develop. So, I definitely will be trying it again (and reporting back), but likely it will move a ways down my list. The majority of psychedelics I've ever done have a much greater reward-to-unpleasantness ratio than this did at 3mg. If the trip had been amazing but had the same negative aspects, I'd be raving about how great it is now... the discomfort was totally manageable and did not ruin the experience at all. It's just that the trip really didn't have any amazing qualities to it. Other than for experimentation's sake and because I enjoy trying things are contributing reports, I see no reason to take this when DOC is vastly superior in every conceivable way. I'm hoping that at the higher dosage level this develops more in an interesting way, because it seems a shame to write off something I have wanted to try and had high hopes about for so long.
Exp Year: 2015 | ExpID: 107296 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: 32 | |
Published: Jan 9, 2016 | Views: 9,842 |
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DOET (135), Nitrous Oxide (40) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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