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Extreme Euphoria to Ego Death
LSD & Cannabis
by JD
Citation:   JD. "Extreme Euphoria to Ego Death: An Experience with LSD & Cannabis (exp107309)". Erowid.org. Sep 30, 2022. erowid.org/exp/107309

 
DOSE:
1 hit buccal LSD (blotter / tab)
  1 hit vaporized Cannabis (extract)
BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb
I’m about to drop acid for the first time. I have only had a couple experiences with psychedelics before. I have done mushrooms 3 times, all in 3.5g doses, and had amazing experiences, so I have been very anxious to try LSD. I tried to try it like a year and a half ago but it might have been bunk. I was really euphoric from an epic day of snowboarding and I just basically did dabs for hours so if it had some small effect I didn’t notice. I don’t do anything regularly besides take dabs (THC).

I am a 25 year old male, about to go on this trip with my 25 year old ex college roommate. I live in a townhouse with my fiancé and my buddy is bringing his fiancé as well. The girls aren’t participating so we will have to try and not let them bring us down. I normally don’t like tripping around sober people, so it will be interesting. Its cold and rainy outside, and it will be dark soon, so we have no choice.

I have 2 blotters, so we will take one a piece. There were 6 in the bag originally from the guy I got it from, so I also plan to rip the bag in half and we can each lick half.

Got some awesome HD trippy stuff to watch on Netflix, made a couple of funky and electronic playlists, and got my colorful kaleidoscope light set up to really stimulate the senses. Otherwise, I’m really just going to chill as always. I think we will take dabs right before we take the acid, then just kind of be social until it kicks in and we can go chill in the man cave. I have tons of awesome leftovers from food I cooked this week in case we get hungry. I’m praying for a real mind-bending trip!

7:50PM – Let blotter sit in mouth for like 5 minutes then swallowed. Each of us took a dab after.

8:30 PM – Acid starting to have effects. Enlarged pupils are very apparent.

9 PM – Ate eggo waffles after watching Moving Art: Forests. Gonna watch desert or oceans next it will be dope. Feeling slightly euphoric. My visual perception is a little strange. Colors are way more vibrant. Everything seems to pop. When I try to focus in on something it seems so far away though.

9:52 PM – Definitely have dived into a deeper thinking and consciousness at this point. We are really getting into the deeper aspects of social engineering and human interaction. We watched moving art – deserts and are now watching oceans. My kaleidoscope light is also looking fucking great.

10 PM – Deeper discussions about life evolving and its origins, existence, infinity of the universe. I love feeling aware on like another level. Getting into the trip at this point.

10:11 PM – On to Moving Art: Flowers. Thinking about intelligent life in the universe and the concept of time more. Really enjoying how the mental pathways are opening. Thinking about all the different facets of things I wouldn’t normally examine.
Really enjoying how the mental pathways are opening. Thinking about all the different facets of things I wouldn’t normally examine.
It feels so cliché but my mind feels very “open.” Ideas are flowing so smooth. Trip is in full effect and I don’t even know if I have peaked yet I feel great.

10:20 PM – Went to get some water for us. Made if halfway back upstairs before realizing I was bringing my friend an empty glass. We are definitely riding up the first hill of the roller coaster. There is no point where we can get off, we gotta go as high as the ride takes us.

10:50 PM – Done watching moving art it was an amazingly intimate experience with nature. It helped us adventure through eons of time and really appreciating the amazing chance of our existence. We are both very euphoric and loving the experience. The girls are in the other room talking about wedding things and we haven’t been bothered. We are about to watch Waking Life to kind of help guide us along these awesome talks. Great trippy movie.

11:20: PM – Hydration break. Typing is becoming more and more challenging to translate my thoughts into text. Just going into the other room and interacting with our fiances and experiencing the normal world. Does not compute. I really enjoy just being in our own room with a kaleidoscope light. It is the essence of our experience. Up on the ceiling the design is geometric and cool but the way all the colors are spinning and creating this 3d effect close to the wall it is by is just insanely trippy. I kind of brought it into the room as a joke I had no idea it would be so intense.

11:30 PM – Waking life too intense we are now watching fantasia 2000. We almost bailed because the version I downloaded had Spanish subtitles but then we realized its fantasia and there are no words.

12 AM – Fantasia is kinda chill but we miss the CGI whales in space and want them to come back it got pretty deep. That 1940s Disney is surprisingly deep. It kinda started to send me off into a bad trip like waking life did to my friend. Maybe ego death is what I feel right now and its not comfortable. I feel very detached from my humanness. I also keep seeing the kaleidoscope even when it's off. We are transitioning our trip downstairs so people can sleep up here it is very overwhelming we want to go back to the CGI whales. It seems daunting but we will conquer handling the rest of fantasia.

12:12 AM - what was once euphoric is becoming overwhelming.” THIS IS AN UNDERSTANEMENT” “FANTASIA IS A MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB” We are rearranging furniture so nothing gets in the way of fantasia.

12:33 AM - I can only write during fantasia transitions. We are starting to diverge but trying to control our stimuli so we follow the same path. Doing normal human things is so weird. Like I just woke up from surgery. I just don’t want to be concerned with my body right now.

1:07 AM – Fantasia was a trip we just realized it is DST swap today so we don’t know what 107 this is whether it’s the first or the second. Sometimes I was forgetting a was a real life person for a minute fantasia had me so captivated I’m not sure whether I was watching or listening I was just existing in it and existing outside of it is painful and stressful. I don’t want to say I'm going down a bad trip I am just becoming more self aware instead of being more focused on everything else that surrounds us.

1:25 AM - The CGI whales didn’t come back but that is kinda relevant to this whole trip you cant go back to the way things were awesome at the start. Watching visually trippy movies like this is hard at points I am not sure if the movie is melting or just my own brain. I am slightly less overwhelmed. Fantasia had us on a real ride though it really evoked a lot more emotion than I would have expected.

We are now at a crossroads deciding where to take our trip, fantasia is over but this ride is not. We can go any direction but back.

My buddy (who I bought it from) was not lying this is some life changing shit.

Nothing is as flowy or smooth as before though. I feel oddly detached from myself. All of this is very new. A few hours ago I could relate things to mushrooms but like halfway thru fantasia I took a turn. Documenting is very challenging. Earlier I remembered I cared about college football earlier today. I am slowly coming back... but then I drift back away. It’s all very confusing.
I am slowly coming back... but then I drift back away. It’s all very confusing.


The sober people in us are starting to shine through though. We got his PC set up before the acid kicked in now we are about to play some Rocket League. I still don’t feel the desire to put the ball in the back of the net but I'm just gonna go with it.

No rocket league. Its so hard to stay on track. Aborted like 10 missions. We are going back to Netflix. I'm struggling a bit my mind wants to do its own things and its stressed when my human needs come up.

Going back to watching nature stuff. We don’t want people to tell us what to do or how to feel. We are now watching Planet Earth. Its crazy how when things happen they just seem like the way they were meant to be. Nevermind, no, planet earth don’t make the same mistake you don’t want a British commentator to your acid trip trust me. I almost started a new paragraph but no just stick with simple nature and flowing soundtrack no commentary.

1:18 am – back in time baby. We are watching yellow submarine. More gold off my hard drive. After the intro it was just a done deal we were already halfway along the ride. This method of journaling (using my computer) interferes with our desire to constantly stimulate ourselves. Journal less.

1:38 am – [blank entry]

2:19 am – The comedown is eminent. This is the hardest part. Trying to find something worthwhile and just transition it back into my life. Whatever that may be. I feel like I have seen so much, but can only bring back and share so little. Words cant really describe how I am feeling. I have never felt so out of control in my life. There were so many good positive emotions that I was feeling: euphoria, excitement, hopefulness. It was beautiful. And then halfway into Fantasia my entire world came crashing down. I was not prepared for the out of body experience. My entire human entity just seemed like such an unnecessary chore; it was holding me back from where I thought I belonged. I felt a lot of strong emotions, and they continue now, along with lucid visualizations, but going back to those emotions, the strongest feeling I felt was hope. This has been a humbling experience. My words are not poetic enough to do my thoughts justice. At this point I have reached the mental clarity where I am no longer expressing my ongoing change of emotion, but trying to summarize my experience. Everything is very surreal feeling.

2:48 am – I told myself I wanted to be done documenting. But my world has never melted like that before. Now I am left here with my walls bleeding around me, trying to find something useful to take from this whole experience. Its shocking how something so small can have such a profound impact. Every sentence I start it is like I am trying to give advice to my future self. I am just a parody of myself at this point. I feel like I just walked through the most beautiful museum in existence and was pushed out the exit without getting the chance to grab something from the gift shop.

3:27 am – (4:27 on bio clock, 8 hours since first effects) I was totally unprepared for and unable to handle my experience. And I’m okay with that because it was amazing. It was everything I hoped it would be. I am sitting here trying to comprehend what happened to me while all these letters just look backwards and bent. It is like I am living my life through a convex lens. This experience has left me humbled. If it was not evident by reading, my mind was completely blown. I am so happy I took this ride that nobody could prepare me for. I’m kind of shaking. I have left the plane of heightened knowledge and existence. I’m sitting here staring into my kaleidoscope light trying to recall the hell of a trip I just went on and it has mostly already faded. The incredible range of emotions I felt without leaving my apartment. For only $10. Boy what a world we live in. This has been a great experience. The most satisfying part is how I thought I was ready to comprehend this experience, but Lucy just sat me on my ass and showed me I don’t know shit. And then, the part I feared most - coming to terms with the fact that I can’t take these awesome feelings any further. I’m going to close my eyes and try to let these fading visualizations carry me back. Resigning this state to the dream world again, for now.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 107309
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Sep 30, 2022Views: 656
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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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