DOSE:

40 mg

oral

AMT

(capsule)

BODY WEIGHT:

53 kg

It took a week of preparation, reading all I could find on-line about AMT, till I finally took it myself. We planned on waking up on Friday morning and taking it. I was to ingest it orally and my boyfriend would be there as a sitter. Since I had previous experiences with MDMA I knew drugs are quick to effect me and their effect lasts longer on me. In my opinion girls are much more affected by drugs than men and should take smaller doses.

8:15 AM after having a light breakfast I took the capsule containing the AMT and sat on the couch watching Cartoon Network waiting for it to 'happen'. After 45 minutes first signs appeared. The cartoons looked better, the colors were alive, and I felt everything was more hectic around me. I kept on watching cartoons for a while. I felt as if everything looks better but I wasn't sure the drug was even working, since I was very clear minded, very perceptive and the drug did not interfere with me talking to my bf. This was to remain like that for the entire experience.

After 2.5-3 hours I started getting visuals, my eyes became watery and my vision blurry. Very mild visuals, the door started breathing, and I could paint the ceiling in whatever colour I wished it to be, if I asked it nicely enough. I found myself asking the ceiling politely to become red, or green, or yellow and it seemed to listen and comply. Space and time perception were skewed - objects seemed to be far away.

At this point a burning sensation in my throat and stomach appeared. It felt like if I tried swallowing anything it would not fit in my throat, swallowing my spit was hard enough. A sense of nausea started appearing, but I did not throw up.

My bf put on some music for me, a Julee Cruise CD, which helped me sink deeper into the MDMA-like part of the session. I felt very talkative and engaged in a chat with my bf about my parents, about life, about our relationship, just like i would on MDMA, reaching conclusions and fixing problems. I felt this to take only a few minutes when infact several hours have passed. At this time I wished the visuals to stop, and they did. As if the entire world is bent to my whims - if I ask it nicely. For some reason being respectful when commanding the ceiling or the door to stop seemed important.

After the MDMA-like session I felt tired, and we watched TV for a while, the Marx brothers were even funnier than usual to me, and I enjoyed the relaxation a lot. My eyes hurt all the time, focusing wasn't easy but I managed it. I felt like I wanted to sleep, but couldn't fall asleep.I kept slipping in and out of trances, as if the drug keeps shifting gears on me, sometimes feeling clear headed and sometimes like I'm sinking into a ride inside my brain, the entire time trying to block this, feeling it as too much for my body to handle, and trying going on watching TV.

At about 6:00pm I couldn't resist the ride anymore and sunk into a dream. I closed my eyes and heard me talking to myself inside my head, I was searching for something inside there. I told my bf i was looking for 'her'. I kept running in this corridor and opening doors. Some had pretty nasty things behind them - sculls and snakes, some had candies and clouds, but none of them had 'her' behind them.I kept talking inside my head, asking 'Where are you?' and an echo appeared saying 'I'm here'. I kept asking 'Are you afraid?' and the echo repied 'Don't be afraid'. I turned around and found her. She didn't have an image and I didn't SEE her, but she was there. She told me to hold her hand so I did.

The minute I did that, everything started storming around us. The questions 'are you afraid, dot be afraid' kept echoing around me and I was struggling to hold her hand during the storms..numbers..crystals..whirlpools of lightning and colors where engulfing us. It was too hard to hold her hand as I was flying through the whirlpool my finger pointing to the middle of it where I was convinced the 'answer' was. I had to reach it, but she might not be able to hold me much longer.

At that point she told me not to be afraid. I don't need to hold her hand, she could just merge into me. And she did, body to body, though she held no form we merged. We were one, and I was safe to go on reaching deep inside the whirlpool. But once she was into me she didn't want to continue the ride, she wanted to see the world for the first time. She looked at my bf, and I asked him if he sees her inside my eyes. He said he didn't. Seeing his answer disturbed me he changed it and said that he did. I did not mind him lying.

At that time I already had a very very strong headache, and wanted it all to stop, but resisting the drug gave me a stronger headache and I remember telling my bf that if I wasn't under drugs I think I wouldn't be able to survive the headache. It felt like my head was splitting in the middle. I don't have any recollection of what happened during the next few hours. I remember asking for food,and my friend coming over with Thai take-away, but I was still trying to overcome the dream and regain consciousness. At this point all visuals stopped and I was feeling MDMA taking over again. The headache was lighter and the pain was almost gone. The time was 9:00pm. I don't have any recollection or sense of time during this 'dream'. At 11:00pm or so we went to bed.

I slept well, having no memory of dreams during the sleep. In the morning I felt very relaxed, still very drugged and needed to go outside, so my bf and another friend took me to the sea. I played like a little girl with the waves, the flowers and colors. Nature looked so pretty, but signs and buildings and people talking around me gave me a headache. It was too..overwhelming. The drug faded away completely after a noon sleep at about 14:00 on Saturday.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 10809
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 14, 2002	Views: 14,753
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AMT (7) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)