Focus Among the Frenzy
DMT (from M. tenuiflora)
Citation: Jungle Girl. "Focus Among the Frenzy: An Experience with DMT (from M. tenuiflora) (exp108548)". Erowid.org. Dec 23, 2016. erowid.org/exp/108548
DOSE: |
50 mg | smoked | DMT | (extract) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 150 lb |
Inhaling...
As I exhaled, I immediately inhaled the 2nd dose taking in no breath between hits, as friend #2 helped me light it and I repeated the 3rd time, never inhaling air, except in breathing in the lit doses. By the 3rd hit, I had to be told to inhale and I forgot to breathe, feeling like I genuinely forgot how. I remember the smoke just permeating every pore, feeling like I was fully consumed in the smoke that smelled the way the root bark tasted. I felt like I was suffocating, and consciously reminded myself, non-verbally, that I was fine.
We were attempting to record the audio, but that became a total joke. As I began to speak, about a dozen, green hands began swirling with index fingers pointed in the air, hushing me, they were telling me to stop talking and to pay attention. A being that seemed male appeared and he was green, a kind of sage green- he reminded me of a circus ringmaster, telling me to pay attention, saying that we didn't have much time. He didn't want me to talk, he wanted me to watch.
We were standing next to a bus and I was in a 3D space, just like here in this reality... I had full 360 degree vision. I could turn around and come back to the exact same spot I left off. When I looked to the right, the bus was there with the guy, looking to the left was a huge, bright pink and orange structure like a high-rise apartment building. There were balconies and the detail of the building was spectacular- it reminded me of Victorian detailing with curved and spiral molding that edged all the walls. There were other beings on each balcony and they were simulating sex scenes with each other. They all had pointy faces and were looking at me while they were engaged in the acts... they weren't really having sex, but they were being playful; though, I felt a weird sense of seriousness to them. It was like they fabricated something to which I could relate in order to ease me in to some heavy shit. Ahead of me was vast nothingness... it was a grid space, like a plane, but there was only the bus, the ringleader, and the building with the beings, everything else was darkness, like a midnight blue sky on a starry night.
there was only the bus, the ringleader, and the building with the beings, everything else was darkness, like a midnight blue sky on a starry night.
When I looked back at the guide, he told me to come with him and opened a door that sat in a wall near the end of the bus. Following him around the back of the bus, I entered a room that was fully separate from the other space we'd been viewing and faced a woman. She was very unlike the other beings. She looked human, but she was very tall and wore blue robes or a gown that came down to the bottom of her ankles. She seemed to glow like the same brightness I saw when peaking on ayahuasca. She was standing at an art easel and said, 'If you can remember, I want you to paint.'
'I don't know how to paint,' I said, telepathically, and with much regret that I would be unable to complete the invitation.
'Come back, come back.'
And that was it. I haven't gone back...
Total trip time from start to finish was about 20 min. After one hour, I felt completely normal, as if I had taken no trip at all, physically. Mentally, well, that remained for a long time. The poignancy of the trip and the difficulty of breaking threshold have prevented me from desiring further experimentation. It was deep and profound, and maybe I will return to that place in my mind, someday.
My fascination is several-fold: first, I do not believe that I entered some other world with other entities. I believe my hallucinations are a manifestation of both the chemical interaction in my brain as well as whatever psychological archetypes exist within me. I believe DMT allows us to forego or transform the Ego of Self in order to allow our True Selves to shine through. What is 'true self', I guess it's that self that knows, without a doubt, that IT is everything that has existed and everything that will exist. Thoughts, words, music, whispers, all vibrate and create our material plane of existence like Hans Jenny's experiments with Cymatics. We are so immense and so infinitely small with each part equal.
The Human, individual experience, is unique but the core is the same, it just has to be- we didn't come from different stuff, we all come from the same stuff, and that relationship has to extend to all of life on Earth and in the cosmos. After all, we ARE floating on a giant rock in outer space.
Exp Year: 2010 | ExpID: 108548 |
Gender: Female | |
Age at time of experience: 35 | |
Published: Dec 23, 2016 | Views: 4,269 |
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DMT (18), Mimosa tenuiflora (74) : Entities / Beings (37), Guides / Sitters (39), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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