DOSE:		insufflated	Tobacco	(liquid)
	2 shots	oral	Ayahuasca	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

185 lb

Mild but Insightful First Experience With Aya

I had the opportunity to participate in an Ayahuasca ceremony outside of Tucson, AZ. I had been through some changes lately since I had stopped taking anti-depressants a few months before and I felt myself drawn to ayahuasca as part of my healing. My intention was to learn of ways I could change my life to live without depression and anxiety, loneliness and boredom. There was a diet I had to follow for the week before which included refraining from animal products, cannabis, orgasms, spicy food, and caffeine. My diet was already mostly in line with the Aya dieta. The cannabis and orgasms were missed, but it was caffeine withdrawal that made it a difficult week.

The ceremony took place overnight in a geodesic dome out in the desert. I was expecting a religious ceremony and there were some ritualistic elements, but they were unobtrusive. There were 11 participants and 4 guides seated or lying in sleeping bags along the outline of the circle. The guides visited with each participant and answered questions, addressed fears and expectations and intentions. We were each given plastic buckets for purging/vomiting. The sun went down. The lead facilitator/guide addressed the group and explained the ceremony. He smudged the circle with tobacco. They passed around a tobacco cigarette and the participants smoked and/or waved it around to bless themselves. They passed around tobacco water and the participants snorted a small amount of it in each nostril. Next, the new participants were called up to drink the ayahuasca. The taste was vile and we were instructed not to drink water.

I lay back on my sleeping bag and waited for the ayahuasca to take effect. I began to see interesting patterns forming with my eyes closed. I had feelings of heaviness and a spatial warping effect. I felt nauseous. I didn’t feel a strong urge to vomit, but I felt like vomiting might have made me feel better. The reason I didn’t purge was because I was embarrassed to vomit in front of a group of people. I feel like I was holding back and I think it affected the rest of the experience.

I felt deeply introspective. I felt a reverence for the beauty of the desert night sky. There was singing and some instrumental music and it felt ecstatically beautiful. I experienced mild visual effects when I closed my eyes. This was the extent of the experience for me. I had read about people experiencing ego death, about encounters with otherworldly beings, about vivid visual hallucinations. I was a little disappointed not to experience these things. I was disappointed to be stuck with myself even under the influence of a powerful psychedelic and entheogen. I had the same fear of what other people think of me, the same isolation and loneliness, that I feel in my day-to-day life.

I gained insights into various aspects of my life during and after the ceremony and I consider this to have been a successful first ayahuasca experience. I am hoping to participate in a second ceremony in a few months. I am wondering if the purging/vomiting is necessary to experience the full effect of ayahuasca. My plan is to take my plastic bucket outside the dome and force myself to purge out in the desert by myself. I had two doses of ayahuasca and I had the option to take another dose, but I didn’t want the taste in my mouth again. My plan for the next ceremony is to take the third dose. I feel that ayahuasca is a powerful tool for self-knowledge and self-healing and I am hoping for a more profound experience with it in the future.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108687
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 44
Published: Feb 27, 2018	Views: 1,374
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Ayahuasca (8) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Group Ceremony (21)