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Motherly Embrace
DMT & Meditation
Citation:   Nirodha. "Motherly Embrace: An Experience with DMT & Meditation (exp110770)". Erowid.org. Sep 16, 2019. erowid.org/exp/110770

 
DOSE:
10 - 30 mg vaporized DMT
BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb
Background on the yogi:

Experienced in both meditation and substances. I am very aware of subtle energetic flows through body due to experience in Qigong and meditation.

The experience:

I started with 20 minutes of loving-kindness meditation completely sober. I generated wishes of goodwill for myself and a dear friend, concentrating on the pure emotional feelings of goodwill. Warm feeling in heart region radiates to arms and legs in phase with breathing. Notable distraction due to upcoming event.

Roughly 20 mg of DMT was loaded into a glass pipe and vaporized, dynamic air from fan in the room caused some issues administering dose, probably only 10 mg effectively dosed. One large inhale and I laid back holding in vapor as long as possible.

Visual patterns began as I held in vapor, on exhale there was a notable dropping effect and complex, dynamic, 3 dimensional geometric patterns taking on many variations of blue and purple. As the visual patterns were being fully enjoyed the full character of the experience began to show. Fine, blissful vibrations were felt permeating every inch of the body, heartbeat and prana sensations were felt in the entire body to a remarkably clear degree, forming interference patterns with the blissful vibrations. This was all overlaid by a wonderfully cool general refreshing, life-giving character. Ambient noise from fans in the room was perceived as vibrations as well, intermingling with the bodily vibrations. Wonderful sense of intermingling of various sense doors into complex vibrations. A white light began oscillating into the geometrical patterns which seemed to indicate the deterioration of the state. Vibrations gradually faded and baseline state re-appeared.

I then proceeded straight to 1 hour of meditation with notable afterglow effects persisting into the session. I started with loving-kindness meditation and then proceeded to full-body breathing. Full-Body breath sensations were also notably blissful and refreshing, but had a different character than those perceived during DMT trip -- warmer, coarser, and less precise. I then proceeded to the 1st jhana. Bodily bliss present in first jhana was remarkably similar to DMT trip
Bodily bliss present in first jhana was remarkably similar to DMT trip
, but more coarse and again less precise than the bliss of the DMT. Whereas the DMT bodily sensations were fine and subtle, requiring attention to tune into, bodily bliss of first jhana was more surface based, grosser, and more obvious. Meditation bell rang and I ended session. There was a notable metacognitive enhancement of awareness due to the afterglow of the previous trip.

The first trip left a yearning in me for a more emotional, less sensory experience. I was not aware of this fact at the time. I loaded another roughly 30 mg and proceeded as before. This time, complex geometric patterns were less precise and took a hue of gold and yellow, but were nonetheless extremely striking and beautiful. There was also an element of white light which seemed to shine over the patterns from a not-well defined locus that was dynamic. In contrast to the first experience, the bodily bliss of the second experience was more internal and less vibratory. Poorly defined, abstract and beautiful female entities began to appear from the geometries, dancing about in phase with the patterns.

An intense emotional yearning for motherly embrace and encouragement began to emanate from me, and this seemed to take the form of misty, complex tendrils that were visible. I got the sense that these tendrils were a fusion of emotional and physical sensations -- not well defined as just shapes but also seeming to be a representation of my emotional state. As the intensity of the emotional yearning increased, the female entities seemed to merge into one abstract, poorly defined but beautiful entity, and the tendrils emanating from me embraced with the entity which took a beautifully satisfying, motherly role. There were a few moments of utter satisfaction and security-- the mother embraced me generously, with a non-verbal narrative that seemed to transcend the borders of the sense doors, assuring me that I am doing everything right, she knows it’s hard and cold out there, but everything is ok and there is no need to suffer. The physical component of this emotional bliss emanated from my chest, and as the experience began to fade, the presence of the entity graciously stayed with me, assuring me but telling me she has to go now, but everything would be fine. I reluctantly let go of the mother’s embrace and basked in the satisfaction of this emotional release.

Overall:

I felt I got an experience I didn’t know I needed.

Exp Year: 2017ExpID: 110770
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Sep 16, 2019Views: 1,014
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Meditation (128), DMT (18) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), General (1)

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