DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA
T+ 1:00	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA
T+ 2:00	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

A short while ago I had a very frightening experience with MDMA. I wanted to describe it in this report as best as I can.

Foreword
I feel a short foreword is necessary to let you know what kind of person I am. I would describe myself as very introvert. I have a lot of autistic traits. I have 2 friends, who I see regularly, but most of the times I like to be alone. I need alone time to recharge for social events. I don’t like to be in large groups or on locations with too much overstimulation (birthday parties, amusement parks, etc.).

I have no experience with drugs other than cannabis and alcohol. I have been blackout drunk a few times, and have smoked myself into a dreamlike trip on more than one occasion but I never “actually” tripped or hallucinated in my life.

Preparations
After a lot of research I made the decision to try MDMA. One aspect that annoyed me was the fact that absolutely everybody I met strongly recommended the use of this drug in a group setting, preferably a party. This bugged me. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t like parties. I straight up HATE them. I decided there must be another way. I decided to use on my own. I don’t live with my parents anymore so I figured now would be the time to do it. To my amazement, obtaining the drug was not that hard. It took me two days but ultimately there it was: three tiny rectangle shaped pills that had a light blue/green color. I was pretty nervous.

The trip
I prepared my setting by having soft pillows and nice decorations in my room. I prepared my computer by downloading good movies and nice music. My cellphone was turned off. I finished a decent meal and hydrated myself fully. I was done eating at 18:00. I wanted to wait at least three hours before taking the drug.

It was exactly 21:30. I started with half a piece. I took the pill, swallowed it with water. The taste was bitter, kind of salty and absolutely horrid. I was ready.

It didn’t take long before I noticed a change. I was 20 minutes in and my hands and feet started to tingle. After about 5 minutes I felt a few warm flushes all over my body. I became lightheaded. There was a slight panic, a sense of impending doom. However, I was remarkably lucid. I was actually more awake then I have ever been. I put on my shoes to take a refreshing walk. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. Not too hot, but also not too cold. This walk calmed me down a bit. After 10 minutes I returned home and sat down, curious to see what would happen next.

And then it happened. A bucket full of warm sensations and love was emptied on my brain. I suddenly felt almost happier than I could ever remember myself being. I was shocked how this tiny pill had such a huge impact. My body was starting to feel stiff and shaky. My jaw felt disconnected from my body. When I looked in the mirror I saw pupils that looked like giant UFO’s. I was chewing like a retarded camel. This shocked my at first, but I was told this was normal so I just went with it.

After one hour, I took my second dose. This increased the intensity of the trip. I was so at peace with everything in the world. A beautiful calmness came over me. I was one with the entire world. The stiffness and jaw clenching increased, but I wasn’t bothered with it. I felt absolutely amazing. One hour later, I decided to take my final dose of my experiment and it didn’t take long for it to be absorbed. I continued the evening by listening to music which sounded better than ever. There was no music. There was no sound. I WAS the music. It vibrated through my body like waves of pleasure. I was a giant clitoris that was stimulated constantly. My skin felt weird and otherworldly, like I was wearing the skin of an alien. But it felt good.

The night
I felt active and alert, more than I’ve ever been. The stiffness and muscle cramping started to become annoying since I wanted to take a rest. It was 03:00 and I decided to go to sleep. This was where the horrifying part started. I became twitchy and agitated. I realised the comedown was upon me. I accepted my fate and knew this part was about to become bad.

My room was dark. I took my phone and turned it on. I was absolutely terrified and gasped a soft “what the fuck?” because I saw the icons on my phone moving and turning. They were bubbling, morphing and switching places. I saw a firework, pixel-like glow around my phone that looked a bit like coloured smoke. Panic started to set in. What the fuck was happening? Was I going crazy? “Please, let this stop!” I found myself begging.

I turned on the lights. I stopped hallucinating for a moment. But when I was getting relieved it had ended, it started again. I looked at my bookcase where I saw books that I never even owned. I saw letters that were on the side of those books that switched places and were dancing like a group of line-dancers. They started twitching, changing colors and size, and even morphing into tiny little people that started to taunt me and laugh at me. I could actually hear them laughing at me.

I felt so overwhelmed by this I sat on the edge of my bed and took 3 deep breaths. It calmed me down a bit. I was able to convince myself that this wasn’t real and just a drug induced hallucination. When I closed my eyes I started to see smoke like patterns, and circles that morphed into geometric shapes. Every time I thought the hallucinations stopped, and I was briefly convinced I was finally out of it, it started again. It was like my brain was mocking me. Like it was holding up a big sign that said: “I told you so”. I noticed I had been sweating like crazy. Cold shivers shot down my spine like I just fell into a bucket of ice water. I was terrified.

The bizarre and terrifying hallucinations continued all night. I hadn’t slept at all. It must have been about 08:00 or 09:00. At last, I felt myself returning to the normal world. I felt like I had the flu. I made myself a healthy breakfast and started to overthink the whole experience. I have never hallucinated in my life, until now. It was a horrible experience that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

Now, a couple days after, I feel like I’m slowly becoming my old self again. This experience I will NEVER forget.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110803
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Nov 24, 2019	Views: 1,149
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