DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Methamphetamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

I haven't touched meth since November of 2013. Until 4 years later, after not wanting to touch meth, I made a very poor decision to cop some crystal from obviously junkies. At that moment, I wasn't feeling depressed or whatever but I was in the mood to be on a hard drug. And I chose Crystal meth.

Bad choice yet at that time all I cared about was getting high off of it since I forgot what a meth high was like. So I took a bump in a restaurant bathroom, felt amazing. I felt so confident, and so carefree I felt as though absolutely nothing in this world can hurt me. I went back home did some small lines, and at that moment I was feeling so good that I immediately became hooked. So I went out while high on Crystal to go to the rough part of the city and ask someone who looks as though they do drugs and I met this man who works for the mafia. He shared some of his meth with me and I bought some from him. So we talked and exchanged numbers and I bought a glass dick from a smoke shop and went back home. Feeling excited, like a kid at a amusement park, just I can't wait for that blast.

The first blast from the pipe was amazing, and I just got hooked. I became in love with hitting up the glass dick. Each hit felt so exciting that it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. So I kept hitting that pipe. Sucking away. Tweaking hard. Feeling good. Feeling way too good to the point that I feel lightheaded and so I stand up. And the next thing I know, I'm sweating bullets, and I take my sweaters off showing off just my tits because my body was hot as hell and as this was happening I felt so nauseous that I forced myself to puke. I guess the powerful stimulant from this shit speeded me up to the max that my heart couldnt take it and it was basically almost going out. Well this time, I wasn't blacking out. I was awake the whole time.

After puking, I get back to doing what I was doing. The nausea lasted half the night. So after the sickness ended, I started sucking on that glass dick again. Until about 11 the next morning. The next hour I bought more. When I got back home I immediately loaded my pipe and started sucking away like a fiend. This day, I didn't feel excited. I just felt plain flat. No fucks given at all because when I was high on meth, literally all I cared about was sucking on that glass dick, chasing that high that I want so bad. At this point I didn't care if I had another near death experience. I wanted to get HIGHER!! Keep in mind I only had $20 worth of meth and after taking blasts at 2 in the morning, I started searching on the floors for crumbs of Crystal and I found a lot but I was literally picking and staring a the carpet floor, my bed, my dresser down the hallway floor for anything that looked like a shard of meth. I mean I couldn't stop myself from searching around the house for crumbs of meth.

Later in the night, after spending at least 7 hours of doing absolutely NOTHING but picking at the carpet floor on my knees and arms I later in the night take hits from the glass dick. There was basically burnt meth and some melted crystals still in the bowl so I was just trying to clean the bowl off. My lighter goes out and so I use the lit candle I had. Keep in mind, I was tweaking very bad. I was intensely focused on picking shit from the floor and sucking on that pipe. I remember I took a fat blast from the glass dick, and then I stand up and immediately sit down. I ended up having this overwhelming head rush I ever had. It fucked me up so bad that it took me about 15 seconds to remember what the fuck is even going on? What happend? Why am I on the floor? What am I on? And then I remember. At first I thought I was drunk. After realizing I was tweaking HARD I started tripping out. I can't explain the hallucinations I was seeing right before my eyes but it was as real as looking at my face in the mirror. So I have this Bob Marley flag on the wall. I was staring at it and the whole flag was moving, waving on a almost psychedelic way and it looked like there was a black shadow floating behind the flag. I had the balls to look behind the flag to see if there was really a shadow behind it which of course wasn't there but when I took my hand off the flag, it was still moving and shit. I mean I knew that I was fucked up. I was just on the carpet floor, looking completely bugged out. I turned around and stared at my bed. My whole bed was moving from side to side, and it was waving and almost breathing. I have all these clothes and blankets and my teddy bear on my bed and they were waving and moving and throbbing and breathing and shrinking I mean I SWEAR it looked so real but I knew I was hallucinating. And the teddy bear on my bed looked like a cartoon ghost. This causes me to freak out, how I never had hallucinations that intense from doing just meth.

That night I ended up becoming extremely worried, paranoid and I started crying because I really wanted this shit out of my system. I was scared. I only slept for like an hour I woke up to the same shit. Feeling completely off balanced, I was talking weird, I couldn't see straight, and I was still picking shit up from the carpet, my bed. Looking anywhere in my room, the bathrooms the hallway for a crumb of Crystal. I was also feeling very lightheaded this morning. Later in the morning I ended up taking just 2 more hits from the glass dick and I wasted the rest away. After those 2 hits, I got sick all over again. Feeling nauseous, lightheaded, feeling like I'm OD-ing. So I stayed in the house and in bed all day because I couldn't face anyone the way I was. I was out of this world. So I stayed in my room, I try to sleep I can't sleep so I write and type. Later on I start crawling on the carpet, still trying to find some crumbs knowing damn well there is no more crumbs. The weird thing about this was this time I wasn't craving for a hit. I did not want anymore but my mind couldn't stop focusing on searching for shards. It was weird. Later on the sickness came back, my anxiety and paranoia seems so real. I felt like I was going to explode or something because I felt like I was going to black out. As this was happening, scared out of my mind, I started writing songs. And another song and another. This made me feel more better actually. I can stand up and walk without feeling like I'm going to black out.

Well that was hours ago and it's 11 pm now. I definetly feel physically and mentally tired. However I can't stop searching around for crumbs while knowing I don't need anymore. But I feel like the comedown is coming down finally. I decided to throw the glass dick away.

Unfortunately that wasn't my last time fucking with crystal meth. Now its been 5 days since I been on it and I'm craving for it.
Fucking shit......

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 111459
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Apr 26, 2018	Views: 2,235
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