DOSE:			Pharms - Citalopram	(daily)
			Pharms - Ziprasidone	(daily)
	1 g	oral	Mushrooms	(tea)
			Ginger	(tea)
	1 hit	oral	LSD	(gel tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

It was two days after a freezing Christmas. My partner - let’s call him “M”- and I had planned take a trip into the desert for months. This was our second attempt. The first attempt, his car broke down. We also planned to trip on one of our days.

We ended up driving two hours into the far end of desert on some rocky off-road. It was the furthest I've been from civilization. As an introvert, that felt amazing and was the perfect setting for what I would find out would be my most intense psychedelic experience yet.

I had stopped my prescription of Citalopram two nights before and my Ziprasidone one night before. I had about five hours of sleep over two nights. I also have to note that I have always been cursed with an overactive bladder.

I took one tab of gel LSD (dosage unknown but I knew from experience that it was strong) and about a gram of shrooms. All of that combined led me to have this crazy experience.

We arrived and began to setup our camp for the trip. We put down a table and fire pit. M lit some coals in the firepit as I had some mandarin oranges so I wouldn’t be so hungry. After he was done, he started to cut up the mushrooms. I started to boil water and soon we had two cups of peach-ginger flavored mushroom tea. I specifically picked out this tea to help with the impending nausea. I remember being very hesitant to drink it because the shrooms were still in rather large chunks, but it ended up not being too terrible.

We finished the tea, put the acid underneath our tongue, and took our seats next to the fire pit. M leaned his face close to the fire. He commented on how warm it was on his face. I admired how cute he was being, sat back, and closed my eyes. Eventually, I swallowed my tab because I kept losing track of it and I started to get anxious about it.

The come up was fast and strong. About 10 minutes in and I was experiencing what could be described as a mix between the closed-eyed visuals from LSD and the visuals from shrooms. There were giant, brightly colored, rainbow fractals and they swirled chaotically back and forth, into each other. I opened my eyes and looked at a gigantic mountain in the distance. Becoming quickly overwhelmed, I shut my eyes again. They fluttered with energy, so I closed them tighter.

Suddenly, I had an intense urge to pee. I quickly got up, squatted down near a bush, and expelled a fountain of urine. I would soon find out this would only be the start of my bladder effectively freaking out.

A couple of potty and nausea breaks later, we both got up to explore outside of our camp. We had picked a cliff-side and there was a riverbed full of thorny trees. I picked a toy out of my bag to take on our adventure. It was a white stick with a rainbow ribbon attached to the end. It fluttered beautifully in the wind. I remember looking closely at the fabric and admiring how the colors twinkled and swirled. M led the way into the desert and I stumbled after him, laughing hysterically, waving my toy in the wind. Suddenly, I had to pee again. I squatted where I was and let out another huge fountain of urine. When I finished, I had some trouble getting myself back together. M and I concluded that it wasn’t time for an adventure quite yet.

Little did we know, how true that was.
We made our way back to the car and M suggested making a bed inside of it. I peed again as he rearranged the camping gear and blankets in the backseat. It was then that I started to peak. It was the beginning of a rollercoaster ride.

When I peaked, I basically started seizing but I was coherent. I don't have any other way to describe it. M quickly ushered me into the car and held me in his lap. He spoke reassuring words as I twisted my neck furiously and passed my hands through my hair frantically, drooling slightly. What was going on…? M explained to me that I simply overwhelmed my brain with the substances I took and this was its way of dealing with it. I yelled out in terror. I sobbed as I twisted my body in his lap. He just held me and told me it was okay. That he would be there for me.

The urges to pee didn’t stop with my peaking. Every few minutes, I would stumble out of the car and squat to release my river of urine. This time, my squat was more primal. I pressed my hands into the sandy ground and screamed, like I was trying to communicate with hell. That was about where I was at that moment. I would climb back into the car, back into M’s lap, and continue my writhing. I remember calling out for him, telling him that I was sorry, and telling him how much I love him. Over and over again. I kept asking if he was okay and he was. I definitely was not.

Finally, it ended. That lasted about an hour. At the end my neck was super tweaked. M left me for a little bit to explore and I played with some apps on my phone. I remember drawing pictures for him on it. He came back and we tried to go down to the river bed. This is where my memory had gotten super fuzzy.

Now, I remember trying to climb down the cliff with M, but I kept yelling at him saying I was going to fall. I was laughing really hard too. He told me I threw a couple funny tantrums because I was so scared of go down with him. I reverted back into a toddler, basically. I remember sliding down the rocks on my butt. We get down to the river bed and there's bamboo. He leaves me to explore the bamboo forest and I remember screaming for help because my toy broke. He told me later he came crashing through, so worried, only to find out that it was because my toy had broken.

Okay, skipping a little forward, I have to note I had extreme memory loss. By the time we got back to our first camp, I didn't know where I was or who I was. M basically had to give me a rundown of who I was and what we just did. All I knew, somehow, that I was his beloved partner and he was mine.

Going back: We came back up the cliff and it was about time to go. M packed me into the passenger seat with a heavy blanket. This is where I had something that I could only describe as a out of body experience. I was really confused and when I would talk, it was like it wasn't me talking. I was watching myself out of my body, talk. This was about five or six hours into the trip. So, we start driving back. We get lost and end up running into this couple in a jeep. We follow them for a time.

We finally get back to the visitor center and I throw up. Alot. I remember it not quite feeling like I threw up, so I looked to confirm. That's about when I started 'coming back into my body' and realizing just how confused I was. I tell M this and from then on I took solace in just listening to what he was telling me to do. I knew he would take care of me.

I remember getting to the tent and he asked me to take off his shoes. I don't know but it was just the right time when he asked. I found a lot of comfort doing something little to help him after a stressful day. Then we get into bed and I start the process of figuring out where I was, who I was, and what we just did.

I had some really vague recollections. M really helped me piece things together. I remember him joking that I was an alien who took over his girlfriend's body. I laughed and I remember wondering how I recognized his sense of humor and how it was so like mine.

So that was about it. He left to take a phone call and I tried to recollect on my own but I ended up getting tired and just wanting to sleep by the time he got back. When I woke up, I felt a lot better but I still needed help remembering some stuff. A couple days later and my memory returned, clearer. Overall, I wouldn’t classify this as a bad trip. But it was definitely a challenging, life-changing one and I learned a lot.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111488
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: May 23, 2018	Views: 1,748
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