DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA
T+ 0:20	0.5 tablets	oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

110 lb

A little background. I used to mess with drugs years ago but stopped for many reasons. I don't really smoke (weed) anymore so I'm going into this experience with a sober brain, so it may have affected me a lot differently than someone who at least smokes frequently.

So we were at an edm festival that was absolutely crazy. The first day I did nothing but a few shots. It was a great time, but the next day I decided I didn't want to be sober so we decided to find some molly. All I ate that day was some chicken strips around 3 or 4. Eventually my homie comes through with some presses. At about 6 I take half, and a friend takes half as well. I think they said these had 250mg of MDMA. We dance a little bit and I feel kinda funny, I wait about 20 minutes and being impatient I decided to take the other half (not knowing or really caring how much was in it) and that's when things got crazy real fast.

(around) 6pm - my homies decided to grab something from the locker so I stay and dance a little bit. Out of nowhere something hit me, HARD. I didn't really understand what was happening and was a little confused, it almost felt like I was way too drunk, I could barely walk, but I managed to make it to a grassy area where I barely managed to sit down. Things start getting crazy weird, everything looked like a video game or something, very artificial. Its strange and confusing. At that time a dnb remix of ghost voices by virtual self was on the rise before the drop as I'm coming up and it was absolutely mind blowing. Words can only do so much, it was nuts. I actually had a brain orgasm. So I start freaking out a little bit and text my homie that I'm too fucked up and I cant move. At this point people are asking if I'm okay, I say yes because I dont want to cause a scene...about 5 minutes later they come and he tries to calm me down telling me I'm just peaking and everything will be okay. I'm still pretty freaked out and breathing really hard, just sitting there with my head in my hand trying to process everything thats happening. I look at them like they are the best friends one can have from childhood I felt so close and loving to them, I think at one point I say 'I love you guys so much' a few more minutes pass of them trying to relax me and I cant even talk at this point I just nod my head to reply. He asks me if I want to go to the chill out place, I nod yes and barely manage to get up and walk to the chill out zone with them, my legs feeling like jello.

---at this point things are kind of fuzzy, I remember bits and pieces but that's about it...---

(around) 7 -8 pm - we get to the chill out zone and I lay down on the couch, I just sit/lay there trying to handle whats happening, people are asking me if I'm okay, eventually I say no. They ask me if its a bad trip or if its too intense, I say the latter. So they ask me what I took and I said a pill, she said was it ecstasy? And I say yeah. They said 'you'll be okay' and they sit next to me trying to calm me down. I'm looking around with flickering eyes like a madman just trying to focus on something with no success. My pupils are dilated like a mofo... I mean gigantic. I look at myself in my phone and I'm like OH shit lol. I'm breathing like crazy constantly running my hand through my hair and holding my head in my hand cause I just cant handle how intense it is. I put on some kaleidoscope goggles to try to trip out and enjoy it but take them off right away. I keep rubbing the couch with my hands even though it was a little wet from prior rain and it felt amazing, like sitting in a fresh cloud with a luxury silk blanket. At some point another came through and was like 'are you alright man??' I say yea. They assure me everything will be alright. I'm still trippin out, and pretty hot.

(I think I blacked out or just don't remember)

One of the safety girls was sitting there next to me rubbing my arm, I look at her and look away shyly. I look at her again and couldn't believe what I was seeing, I actually thought she was an angel. Yea she was beautiful, but on this stuff she was the most beautiful being I've ever seen lol.

(Blank out or just don't remember)

Some fellow ravers came and saw how messed up I was, they ask; 'on a scale of one to ten how rolling are you right now bro' I say 20 lol. They give me a piece of mint gum because I'm clenching my teeth HARD. I chew it and it was insane. It felt like Antarctica was in my mouth, blowing me away, it was incredible. They ask me if I wanted a massage. I say yes so they both do and say 'no homo by the way' lol. I didn't even care because of how gone I was. It was incredibly relaxing and definitely helped me calm down a little but I was still on one. This raver girl comes up and asks if I'm okay when I'm laying down, I say nah I'm so messed up right now. She gets me some water and tells me to sip it. She then asks if I want her to hold me, I say sure if you want. She does and we lay there for I don't know how long, it was incredibly comforting and I think I fell asleep or I just can't remember. Eventually she says she's going to go now and I say alright have fun and thank her.

Around the same time another girl comes and lays near me, also rolling way too hard. She breathing hard with her eyes closed and I couldn't help but to feel terrible for her. At one point she started sobbing a little bit and I got the saddest look on my face like I truly truly cared and knew her for a long time. She had people helping her as well so I decided she would be okay. I was too messed up myself to help anyways. I get up and tell the helpers I'm going to go to the bathroom and they say okay if you won't get lost. I say I'll be fine and make my way.

(around 9pm or 10pm) It's completely dark now, and all the neon lights were on. It was bonkers, the lights on the Ferris wheel and everything around me was the trippiest stuff... I was amazed. I make it to the port a potty and after struggling for like 5 minutes I manage to pee. It's borderline impossible to pee on this stuff even if you feel like you need to really go. It bugged me pretty bad because I didn't want to pee my pants or something. I manage to make it back to the chill out zone and lay down for a while again, feeling better.

11pm-1am - I remember my body started to get incredibly hot, like burning. I take off my jacket and put it over my head and I think I fell back to sleep. I wake up not too much later and my homie asks if I'm ready to go see this set I was really excited about. At this point I'm feeling much better, at least good enough to control myself and move and talk. I sit up like I just woke up from a deep sleep, rub my eyes and my head and put on my hat. I get my stuff and get up and we go to the set. I'm assuming it was because of serotonin/dopamine, but I just couldn't find satisfaction in the music, even though the set was amazing. I just felt 'meh'. We go to the final set and I get a light show, was very trippy but still had that 'meh' feeling. Eventually we just decide to leave a little early and walk back to camp. We had already packed our stuff before the show so we got in the car, waited for everyone and we headed home. I fell asleep in the car almost immediately exhausted from everything.

(around) 6am - We make it back to my place, I get dropped off and I pass out until about 3pm. I have an amazing afterglow, feeling great and loving and happy. I just eat then lay in bed again for the rest of the day. I go to sleep for the night and wake up to get ready for work the next day at about 11:30pm.

Work was very weird a little paranoia/anxiety and feeling light-headed but not too bad. Work was weird not just because of what I took but because of the amazing life changing experience of the festival and the good vibes, all different kinds of people being happy and loving, all together to listen and dance to a similar genre of music that we all love, and then going back into society where it's just dull and normal and we have to work. The third day I had mild depression, the fourth basically back to normal, outside of re-adjusting to every day life.

All in all, it was an amazing experience even if I did freak out and couldn't handle it, it was great because of the beautiful people that were there to help me. If I didn't have them and the rave fam, who knows what would have happened. Because of them and the good vibes, this was a crazy yet great experience and one for the books, but I still wouldn't recommend anyone to take that much unless they are very experienced or really just weigh enough. I feel great now and want to show people the love they all showed me when I was messed up. So was it worth it? Looking back I say YES. I'll let you decide.

(Basically a panic attack while rolling harder than you can imagine)

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112080
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Feb 17, 2023	Views: 354
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Rave / Dance Event (18)