DOSE: T+ 0:00	20 mg	oral	4-HO-MET	(powder / crystals)
T+ 5:00		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

A Dance with Metocin

Still coming to terms with what happened, but last night I took 20mg 4-ho-met as my first time for this substance. I ate it on a full stomach so it took about an hour to set in. This'll be my first time writing a trip report so bear with me.

T+0:00 - dosed the 20mg. Fine slightly off-white powder, measured several times to make sure I wasn't above my head. (Spoiler alert: I was)

T+0:00-1:00 - feeling slight anxiety, though this was expected.

T+2:00 - went for a walk with my mind racing, walked down to a river and walked along both sides of it. Every step I take is another mental challenge almost like hero's trials. I went home and was listening to music and staring at me ceiling watching the ceiling warp. The music was becoming a part of me, and I was laughing and my mind was expanding in thought. I'm in a bit of a crossroads right now in my life, ending a job and starting a new one and I thought about it and was really able to believe I'm not going to regret leaving my job. This went on for a couple more hours.

T+5:00 or so - I decided I was coming down and wanted to smoke some weed and chill out. After that, negativity took over my mind. I immedietely regretted it and had all these negative thoughts saying that I shouldn't have taken anything at all. I needed to leave this behind so I went to bed and let myself drift off slowly. With nothing but my mind running wild I was drifting in a sort of black universe. I felt my ego leaving but I fought back and kept it. Remembering what I read about ego death and needing to let go I starting to let go and felt myself losing all sense of reality. There was one pin prick of ego left that I couldn't quite let go. Eventually I fell asleep.

Upon waking I didn't even remember my ego being shattered, but now that I am awake and pondering what happened I feel refreshed. I really needed this and to really reflect on it. There's more to this substance than the light hearted only visual has. Though it was very easy to steer.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112184
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Aug 10, 2018	Views: 1,511
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4-HO-MET (436) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), Alone (16)