DOSE:

220 ug

sublingual

LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

T-0:00
Around 9 AM, I place 220ug of LSD under my tongue and walk to the woods by my house. I have a little spot up there with an altar I perform chaos magic and smoke weed at. I've packed a bag full of food, water, a jacket, and paint pens. I put on Their Satanic Majesties' Second Request by The Brian Jonestown Massacre. A friend suggested them and I think today is perfect for it. The sun is out, peering through the trees, birds chirp in the branches.

T+0:20
On the 20ish minute walk there I don't really feel anything yet. Perhaps a little happy but not much. Reaching the spot I sit down on boards placed on rocks serving as makeshift benches. Sitar plays through my big headphones and I close my eyes. A distinct elevation in mood occurs. I smile wide and genuine. The acid has really hit me now. I close my eyes, meditating before stimulation becomes too intense. A quiet calm fills me. Normally I'm unable to be still for very long but this fills me with wonder and curiosity.

T+0:40
The birds are more active now, fluttering about and calling to each other. They blend perfectly with the music. Waves of giddy laughter come over me. I've never felt so happy before. Color becomes much more than before as is the case with psychedelics and I notice some light trailing and warping. What a beautiful day it is.

T+1:30
It has been about an hour and a half by this point, most certainly on the come-up. I am very giddy now. Brian Jonestown Massacre has finished. I put on Panic! At The Disco's Pretty Odd for a vaguely similar vibe but distinctly more poppy. I take out some paint pens and walk over to a large rock. I draw fractals and aliens along the side of it. I notice more visual distortions, the rock seems to be warping and shifting. I become intimately fascinated with it, attempting to replicate the distortions with my paint pens. I keep drawing for a while until I decide to move. I dance along to the music, clicking my heels together like some strange Victorian street urchin from Mary Poppins. I twirl around looking at branches. I sit down for a moment getting another paint pen before going to draw on a piece of aluminum siding that someone dragged up here long ago. I draw DMT's molecular structure and other ramblings before noticing much more intense visuals.

T+2:15
Open-eye geometry has formed. I wander down a hillside and watch more birds before returning to the boards. I'm almost tired in a way. I lie down on one and see much more heavy closed eye visuals. Lotus flowers drawn mathematically like a very elaborate spirograph. One line infinitely tracing many many patterns, changing over and over again. I am in awe, lying there for perhaps an hour or so. Time loses meaning as I gaze deeper.

T+~3:00
I decide to go walk home now, relax in my bedroom. I check my phone briefly, no texts from parents, friends checking in on plans for tomorrow. I try my best to get an idea of what's going on before walking the rest of the way home. I put away the paint pens in the basement before going upstairs to my bedroom and putting on The Doors. I scroll through Tumblr, very confused and then decide to just lay around.

T+5:00
The walls are getting interesting as my parents come home around 2:00. Has it really been 5 hours already? I continue laying about until I am told to walk the dog. The day is beautiful and the short stroll around the block calms my nerves. She’s an absolutely wonderful pet and I’m glad to have her. Occasional visuals present themselves, swirling clouds, rainbow fractals in the sky, CEVs of triangles iterating over and over. Some of this may be placebo. A friend checks in on me, I say it's going well.

T+6:00
Getting home I am growing bored, scroll through Instagram and Tumblr more. I become almost disgusted. Social media seems so fake. Everything is manufactured and wrong. Nothing is correct. I am destroying myself somehow.

T+8:00
I am called to dinner and have a relatively calm meal as the peak has definitely faded now. I keep thinking about a Black Angels lyric "Nothing's the same after that yellow elevator". LSD's certainly been an elevator of some kind. Now I must descend. I grow somewhat depressed after the meal. I was spun out tripping all day when my family was out. No work was done at all. My dad should be yelling at me about college or something similar, God knows I have things to do for that, housing requirements and all. What a lazy fucker I've become. I hate what I am. Nobody enjoys me. I am a rambling, drugged out, nervous wreck with nothing to offer.

T+9:00
I should stop existing or become more useful. I ask a friend about this who immediately refutes these things. I talk to her for a while about music and other such nonsense. Something about that calms me down, how accepting she was, how calm and nice. It’s very stabilizing

T+10:30
I take a bath and am disturbed by my reflection in the mirror. I always am on LSD. My body looks other but not as other as my first trip. The soak helps some although looking at my body still makes me uncomfortable. Every time I take psychedelics this happens .

T+11:15
I go back to my room and watch video game and film critiques until midnight when I fall asleep. Everything seems so fake and wrong when I start watching but I come to something of a realization near the tail end. Watching a review of Ingrid Goes West it hits me. Meaning is derived from the self. We do not need to base our opinions on what others think of them. While this is rather trivial, in my altered state it certainly helped me calm down.

T+23:00
I wake up and feel somewhat depressed and tired. Something's changed but I don't hate myself as much. I'm going to be okay. People don't hate me.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 112590
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Sep 30, 2022	Views: 292
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LSD (2) : Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1), Alone (16)