DOSE:

5 g

oral

Cannabis

(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

260 lb

Set: Not positive or negative. Focused mostly on work and culture and I heavily accepted both at the time.
Setting: Burger King Kitchen and Lobby during an 8 Hour Night Shift

At this point in time I was just your normal stubborn straight fat autistic 19 year old white guy who had never taken drugs before in my life. This fact had a lot to do with my heavy layers of conditioning and sheltering from strict parents. Despite my conditioning, I actually did my research as a kid and was slightly interested in weed, acid, and other psychedelic substances. After learning on my own that these substances were safe quite a few years ago, my conditioning eventually won out and pushed the desire to take any mind altering substances far into the back of my mind. One of the things that helped me forget about drugs up until this point was that I never had easy access to any kind of drugs due to being timid and unable to form good social connections. Now I was working nights at Burger King and there were no longer any excuses because as you can imagine, most employees there smoked bud and did drugs on a regular basis.

One of the employees I worked with was having his drug dealer drive over into the parking lot that night to sell him weed and out of curiosity I ended up mentioning that I wanted to buy some. He gave me the okay, said if I wanted to I could buy some from his dealer. I bought 5 grams for $20. I had absolutely nothing to smoke it with. Also at the time I had a huge phobia of smoking anyway. I probably was dumb enough at the time that I could’ve ended up just eating the weed whole by itself without cooking it at all which likely wouldn’t have done anything. I still wanted to try it that night and what I ended up doing was taking a dozen frozen cookies out of the freezer, crumbling the weed onto cookies and then baking them. No joke, that’s the idea I came up with to consume this marijuana. I used the entire 5 grams, eating all 12 cookies in one sitting. I had learned at some point after this whole experience that there are actually certain things you have to do with the weed during the cooking process in order to actually get high off of it, so I have absolutely no idea how the rather laughable way I consumed this weed produced any kind of effects whatsoever. It might’ve had something to do with the sheer quantity of weed that I ingested but I wouldn’t know since I’m far from a marijuana expert.

I ate the cookies at around 1 a.m. They of course didn’t taste great but I somewhat masked the tasted by chugging 2 of the tiny containers of milk that you would get in a bk kids meal along with them. I waited close to an hour to start feeling any effects, I sat in the dine-in lobby and waited for awhile and after I got impatient from not feeling anything at around 2 a.m. I just started to get back to work. The first thing that I noticed was that I went into freezer and I walked out completely forgetting why I went into the freezer and for some reason it was extremely hilarious. My short term memory all of a sudden was dog shit and my perception of time started to shift a little bit. I noticed it kind of in awe and as I was walking across the kitchen I got hit with an intense body high and completely slumped over as my entire body began to feel numb and heavy. For some reason my first instinct was to go straight to the bathroom and start masturbating. It was surprisingly difficult to get off and I think I gave up after 10 minutes due to not being able to orgasm.

After that awkward experience I just tried my best to get back to work. Working on this bud was definitely a hilarious challenge. Everything felt incredibly slow, my arms were heavy, I had little to no concept of linear time or any short term memory whatsoever. I kept trying to mentally grab onto the tasks that I had to do that night, but since I was so used to being sober and relying on a linear checklist in my mind to get things done one at a time I struggled a lot. I would start one task and immediately forget what I was doing without finishing it and move onto the next one. One of the few things I was able to unconsciously remember doing and stick with was doing dishes. Despite my best attempt at getting these dishes done, it was still insanely hard. I felt like I had to really speed up all of my movements just to get all the dishes done at a regular pace.

The body high started to get really intense after awhile and I got stuck in a paranoid loop where I was intensely focused on this really weird warming and cooling sensation around my heart. I could feel my internal processes in a strangely terrifying way and having never experienced anything like this before, it made me think I was having a heart attack. After insisting that I needed to go to the hospital, the other guy I was working with eventually calmed me down and I stopped worrying.

As I was calming down, they ended up turning up the music that was going through the speakers in the lobby and listening to it felt so alien and absolutely wonderful. I was listening to pop songs that I had listened to before and somehow I knew that, but at the same time it felt like I was listening to brand new songs. The music just shifted into something completely different in a way that I honestly wouldn’t even be able to describe. The closest way I can describe this is synesthesia, but it wasn’t visual in any way whatsoever. I lost the capacity for deciphering the lyrics of these songs, and everything felt like an alien language. In a strange way I could halfway understand this language in the form of what I was feeling, and thankfully my feelings were mostly positive. As fun as it was to focus on the music and chill, I occasionally still had to take orders in the drive thru.

We were open 24 hours (Drive Thru only thankfully) and even though we didn’t get many customers throughout the night I still slightly freaked out every time I had to answer the drive thru and I tried really hard to act normal. I don’t remember anyone catching me or mentioning anything about knowing I was high because if someone did say something about it I probably would’ve had a panic attack thinking I was going to lose my job. In my mind I was doing a decent job at trying to act natural, but odds are I probably wasn’t. Whenever I stopped taking orders and was forgetting the other tasks I needed to do that night I was eating. I was doing a number on the cherry Icee machine, and throughout the rest of the night I almost always had a cherry Icee nearby, and when I finished it I would get another one. The sweet taste itself wasn’t wildly different, it was more of a massive flavor amplification that made sugar 10,000 times more addicting to me than normal. The reason I settled on Icees instead of anything else was that the inside of my mouth and throat was almost completely numb, making the rather simple act of eating solid food feel weird and difficult, and the taste of salty things was mostly unchanging which didn’t help either. I of course found this out after trying to eat a whopper, but I ended up throwing it away after a few bites.

By the time my relief came at around 6 a.m. my brain felt completely scrambled to the point where I had no anxiety about anything whatsoever. Despite having no anxiety, I didn’t feel any strong emotion of alleviation or euphoria. It felt more like a confused trance where I didn’t have enough of a clue of what was going in order to feel anything. Thankfully I didn’t know how to drive at the time so I never had to drive in this awkward state. My dad picked me up that morning and I stayed quiet during the ride home. I went home, settled back into the basement and after going to sleep, I woke up feeling exactly the same. I watched YouTube, I listened to music, I masturbated and finished once but it actually felt slightly worse than it feels to jack off sober. I even had to work again that next night and I was still high throughout the entire shift. Nothing of note happened during that next night’s shift other than most of the same shit. Eventually I sobered up after about 3 days.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 112813
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 31, 2019	Views: 2,445
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Cannabis (1) : First Times (2), Workplace (51)