DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 g	buccal	Syrian Rue	(seeds)
T+ 1:05	5 g	oral	Acacia confusa	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

152 lb

BACKGROUND
This is probably the 40-50th time or so I’ve done pharmahuasca [sic]. This time I was really ready to surrender to the experience... But I just couldn't fully surrender I guess. I doubt the benignity of the entities. I question whether the experiences are true, or created for the purpose of deceiving and confusing me. Pardon the length of this report. I think it is all worthwhile though.

NOTE ON INGESTION METHODS
I almost always use S. rue for MAOI because it is cheap, easy, and reliable every time. I have found my perfect dose, which is easy to do by trial and error, and the products on the market do not vary much in potency like the B. caapi products. I occasionally have success with B. caapi, but it is much more expensive, time consuming to brew, and harder to dose accurately. I have not noticed the B. caapi trips to be that different from the S. rue ones, although my very first significant pharmahuasca trip was using B. caapi, and it was the most euphoric, joyous, and innocent experience ever, that I have not been able to replicate.

For the DMT content, I have always used A. confusa. I have used gelcaps with plain Acacia Confusa powder, combining powder with peanut butter, and potent tea. The gelcaps are effective for a sudden and strong effect if done with proper timing (I want them to be digested all at once, so I eat a small meal a while after taking the caps on an empty stomach). It can be difficult to take 11 caps, but I always said it was worth it.

Eating the powder mixed with peanut butter (especially on a PB&J sandwich) was very easy, but around this time I started having more dark and disturbing trips rather than euphoric fun ones. I’m still not sure, but I think the peanut butter could be contraindicated with the MAOI to cause negative effects. I wouldn’t use this method any more.

The tea takes a lot of time to brew, and works better with chipped bark rather than powder. It is not the best bang for your buck, and it has more frequent duds in my experience. Possibly, the liquid can pass through me before getting absorbed if there’s not enough food in the belly?

01/25/19
I fasted for about 16 hours and then ate a small bowl of rice with an apple 3 hours before taking the syrian rue.

16:40-17:15 - Chewed 2g syrian rue during an epsom salt bath (the epsom salt didn’t have a noticeable effect on the experience). Swallowed when the spit was about to burst out of my mouth! (Oral absorption seems to make the S.R. more potent, and come up in 1 hour instead of 2 if only chewed and swallowed. If not chewed well, it could just fail completely).

17:45 - Drank approx. 5 g Acacia confusa in a very potent tea extract.

18:00 - Mild. Slow start. Dream-like.

19:00-20:00 - Very visual; learning to use “psychic abilities” and navigate DMT dimensions. Mind is pretty sober and coherent.

21:10 - Tired but still tripping, less visuals, still very body high. Mind effects start getting weird.

24:00 - Still tripping hard, now more mental than visual. Just beginning to do the head left and right thing (addressed later). Listening to Sons of Korah - does it help calm me, or make me more afraid and reinforce my same beliefs?

01:00 - Jesus saves; mainly mental with some odd visuals. IT RHYMES!!

02:12 - Please, Huper, never again. Trash the plants.

NOTES DURING TRIP
The connections to the head points can be used to do different things. Most useful so far has been lining up the sphere in the center and breathwork to quiet, still, focus. Another option is peaceful passing (whole body action) from one experience to another. (I was learning how to navigate the DMT world.) These controls work like a muscle. They require practice, time, strenuous trial, and maintenance.

I can just choose not to be seduced by the entities, and I can pass to another place and experience. It is hard to stay alone because the entities keep coming. They’re all so different and varied, and they’re all doing things to me like taking me into them and working on my brain, taking me apart. But I can leave, I can politely refuse to go along with whatever they’re trying to entice me to do. I don’t need to be afraid because I make my own choices and they don’t have control over me, but I should have a cautious respect of them, and a firm response to their intrusions. No matter what circumstances, I choose my emotional responses. I can choose positive responses.

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This time I’m having fork, knife, and plate images 1 on each side of my field of perception, similar to the raping sex entity reported on in a previous experience, but this time it seems to be about food. I’m feeling empathetic for animals, but realized it’s just how life proceeds. We love them but then we eat them. Is this a normal cycle of life or is it completely messed up to think this way?

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How to read people: the things we’re doing go into building our appearance, e.g. the guy that looks really creepy, with pale oily skin and greasy straight hair seems to be involved with sex problems. The thing that is shown is more felt. Describing it as one aspect, such as sex issues, doesn’t incorporate the whole experiences that cause him to be manifest the way he is.

Although I can judge people and gain impressions of them and their strengths and weaknesses, I should not put them into a box. Everyone is different. Respect. These observations could also be wrong, or the person could just have a loose/distant connection to the feeling I get from them.

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Mirrors are weird.

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Long hair for ESP.

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New age stuff works for a while but ends in non sequitur and confusion.

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Just choose faith. My time is not eternal. Make final choice NOW. Choose faith.
Jesus saves Jesus rhymes saves
Jesus rhymes Jesus saves Jesus Christ
How do I tell the world Jesus rhymes Jesus saves Jesus Christ

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After this I started recording on my phone because I realized if I could get the tune I would be able to confirm how this IS THE TRUTH when I heard it sober. (Cannot confirm, btw).

I was essentially realizing that Jesus rhymes! That’s how you tell the world Jesus saves! We can’t be perfect and get the middle symmetry, but we can try and that’s what matters. We can either try Torah or try faith. At first my head was going back and forth, the lights were flickering, there were demonic spirits battling for my soul.

I had a minor cramp start to come (I hardly ever get cramps and I’m very fit) and I realized it was an embolism and if I let it take over a blood clot would go to my heart and kill me. I had to stay conscious, both to preserve this universal truth and to preserve my life. As I continued looking left then right, I eventually became more conscious and then I started having a more positive perspective on the experience.

It concluded with me essentially dancing this pattern, zipping up the universe, realizing Jesus Christ rhyming is the key to salvation. I literally recorded 46 minutes of me chanting this cycle:

“How do I tell the world? Jesus rhymes! Jesus SAVES!”

I went into D's room to share this great experience with him (01:47). He was not too enthusiastic.

Once I finally started calming down I was very shaken up. I had thought I would have to stay awake until sunrise to preserve the memory of this truth and if I slept I would forget it all and have to relive life over. As I sobered up I realized that would not be the case, so I eventually went to bed but I was freaked out so I went to sleep with D.

I slept fitfully until 07:00, when I went back to my bed to sleep until 11:30. There are just so many connections that I can’t address them all. Everything is connected, but I don’t need to try to understand it all.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 112835
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Mar 24, 2019	Views: 2,214
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Huasca Combo (269), Syrian Rue (45), Acacia confusa (664) : General (1), Combinations (3), Retrospective / Summary (11), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)