DOSE: T+ 0:00	500 mg	oral	DXM
T+ 1:15	135 ug	sublingual	LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

58 kg

This has been the most intense, craziest experience of my life until this point. I have taken LSD before several times and tripped on DXM over 50 times on varying dosages before, So I was somewhat confident going into the experience.

It started out great, The drugs synergized amazingly. 500 mgs of DXM were ingested and on the 1:15 hour mark 135 ug of LSD were administered sublingually.

The LSD began to take effect almost immediately after administration which was unusual, The synergy was heavenly, full body euphoria and very strong visuals, It felt like my body was vibrating with energy, colors covering every object I can see, Music felt incredible and faces on my screen were warping and morphing into each other. I was getting more and more intoxicated that I was losing touch with reality, And losing the ability to enjoy the trip.

On the peak of this trip, 1:45 hours after taking the LSD, I reached a state of total confusion. I couldn't recall being on a trip, I felt very helpless and began to freak out. All neural signals were highly altered and interfered with each other. The visuals were very powerful and the body high was incredible. I was forced into a mental journey, I would understand for a second that I'm tripping and try to calm myself down, But I was too confused and altered to hold this thought. I reached a state that felt like it was my actual, weak self. It was myself before I was born and after I die. I was certain I was dead by this time, My heart rate was so high I felt like I'll have a heart attack any second now.

In this state, where I've lost all memory, experience, and logic, I felt myself seeking answers from some instinctive nature in me that became very powerful at this point. And soon this instinctive nature took hold and controlled my psyche. I was so afraid so mentally I resorted to this instinctive nature, and it was cruel to me. Made me more fearful, told me I fucked up and was going to die, and lashed me for it. So I accepted it. I accepted death and acknowledged that it was inevitable. I let go and right then I felt this calmness, a strange kind of calmness. It wasn't "you're going to be okay" feeling, Rather "You're going to die, It's hard but just relax and leave in peace", I felt like a prey that had just been caught by a predator. This experience had me thinking about the instinctive nature of living creatures and how it might have been hidden in our subconsciousness and overpowered by our smart, developed conscious minds. I felt like I had lost my chance, that I'm going to meet God, felt like the moment you suddenly wake up from a long dream (life) and back to your true self, and at this moment you realize the truth you've been seeking. The truth you've known all along but couldn't recall.

I think I was able to access some sort of inner-programing of the human mind. A baby who has just been born has no understanding of what it is or what is going on around it, but it has a guide that tells it to breathe, to drink from its mother's breasts, to feel safe and seek shelter around its parents. I believe I was able to access parts of my brain that I'm not supposed to consciously connect with. What some might call the sub-consciousness. It's what guides most living beings through their lives, and it's what's overshadowed by our experience in life. I'm fairly certain that this "instinct" carries indeed submission to a creator.

This is the first drug experience that actually led me to believe in a creator. Chance couldn't have implanted belief in a creator in our psyche. Existence and life are not possible. There has to be a creator, It's the only logical explanation to me.

It was only 8:30 hours after ingesting the DXM that I was able to return back to reality and realize what has just happened to me and what I've just been through.

Overall, this has been a traumatizing experience, and I'm suffering from a form of post traumatic stress at the moment. But I've learned a lot on this journey and have seen a lot, and that's what matters even if it was the hard way.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 112913
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Oct 8, 2022	Views: 543
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LSD (2), DXM (22) : Difficult Experiences (5), Post Trip Problems (8), Combinations (3), Alone (16)