DOSE:			MDMA	(pill / tablet)
			Alcohol
		insufflated	Ketamine

BODY WEIGHT:

76 kg

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
Intense Realm of Ketamine Trips

This was written about 1 year after the experience, because I had many more ridiculously scary k holes after that (I have also had many of beautiful experiences but this was down to my mental state at the time) in London, pretty much on my own in clubs far away from home. And I have just recovered from going sober after battling Ketamine addiction in my daily life to a point I was having panic attacks and breakdowns on the way to college and completely forgetting things about myself and not being able to articulate thoughts and read my written work. Therefore, I have been hesitant to recollect my memories of these experiences, but I have conquered this and feel it is a necessary part of moving on and the healing process, as I have kicked the addiction but I keep feeling sick and getting sweaty looking at this rug and need to get this of my chest. Obviously, one cannot quantify this experience as it is personal but it was deeply disturbing towards the end and the mental state I was in at the time was very bad.

My experiences with Ketamine up to this point have been good and transformative and the first k hole I experienced made me reevaluate my life through replaying memories which has troubled me but I didn’t realise and these re-surfaced and allowed me to move on and grow. This beautiful and terrifying trip I think was the start of my addiction phase in which I spent over £2,000 on Ketamine in the space of 6 - 8 months… now I will elaborate on the trip.

I was hosting a gathering with a few friends and I had taken large amounts of MDMA in the day and little bits of Ketamine throughout the day. Then at night after my friend sniffed over two grams of Ketamine and was completely paralysed for over an hour, we went out into town to go to a house party. That didn’t last very long and I was feeling pretty drained from the amount of drinking and drug use throughout the day, so we left this party and headed back home. I was in a very closed mental state where I wanted solitude and was feeling very anxious and paranoid from being dragged in and out of reality constantly throughout the day. This is when one of the most profound and visually and mentally stimulating k holes happened to me. Bare in mind I use to take ketamine to k hole and this wasn’t new to me, I can’t even fathom the amount of grams I have consumed at this point in my life. I have had more insightful experiences where I have learnt a lot about myself, but this one was just immensely psychoactive, and a detailed description is going to be hard to portray in written text.

Me and a few friends are sat in a dark room and about to all take extremely high doses to try and pass out and sleep. I am not even sure how big of a hit my friend gave me but it was ridiculous,I will put it in perspective. If you are an avid party drug user, you will know what a snuff spoon is, I use to use the large shovels instead of the small spoons. He gave me about 1 ½ of those shovels, this puts it way over 800 - 900 mg of Ketamine, maybe more, which is insane considering its so potent. The reason we were able to do so much is because my friend has brought an ounce and we were just feeding from this giant bag.

After those two hits, I immediately fell to the floor and this is important as the carpet is one of those giant white woolen rugs with the long fibers, which makes it comfy to lay on and your eye level is on the tips of these fibers. So, my face is pretty much in the rug but I am sort of laying on my side so it isn’t straight down. The room is dark with silhouette shapes and objects of the furniture and people, my vision starts to turn into a whirlpool kaleidoscope spinning effect with a magnitude of vibrant colours and shapes within shapes, the visions were cloning and multiplying like how you see in a science show when cells multiply, it keeps expanding and expanding until my vision is shot into a macro level image of the rugs fibers. These long fibers were swaying back and forth like it was incredibly windy in the room and I could ride up and down and up a down over these fibers, like I was an ant crawling around in my carpet. Then all of a sudden as the Ketamine intensified and I go further into the k hole, my sense of self and ego disappears and I am transformed into this fishing boat which is battling these extreme waves, with extreme wind and rain hitting me. My best visual example of this is the film ‘The Perfect Storm’ and the waves in that. This voyage through these fibrous waves continues for ages until it gets so intense my vision rapidly changes to this black void, with a strange thermometer like gauge with ‘life’ written at the top and ‘death’ at the bottom with a countdown. I am now starting to panic as I have just had this immensely beautiful and extreme interactive vision in which I have explored my surroundings on a macro level, and now it shuts off and goes to this stage.

The gauge and countdown is at 30 seconds and then the life starts to drain, it doesn’t drain slow it drains rapidly, I cannot escape this vision… I cannot stop it from depleting. It starts plummeting down to the death label, at this point I am really questioning whether this is it, the amount of drugs I have consumed today and the effect it has obviously had on my mental state. In the back of my mind I was aware [of an idea] that Ketamine isn’t usually dangerous unless over 5 grams is used at once, so I was scared but also kind of trying to tempt fate and see if this was a lie or not. The gauge shoots down and hits death and I feel this immense sense of panic and loss I have never witnessed before and immediately come up, gasping for air for some reason, even though I wasn’t constricting my airways, I think it was just the shock of the thought of complete death.

I can’t really go into more detail than this as this isn’t a fresh memory. I have had fairly high dose mushroom and truffle trips before but these high dose Ketamine experiences with MDMA are more internal for me. With the mushrooms and acid trips they have been internal and visual on the surrounding world but these trips seem to block out the visual eye element and really play on my imagination. I have had many experiences before where I have accidently k holed in the middle of a crowd at a rave and I got almost astral projects of myself and then replays of recent memories, like in a dream state and then I am taken back to reality.

Basically, it is a crazy substance which is rather psychoactive in nature but in my experience a different experience from the classic psychoactive experiences of mushrooms and acid.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 113224
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jun 10, 2019	Views: 1,090
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Ketamine (31) : Combinations (3), Addiction & Habituation (10), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)