DOSE: T+ 0:00		insufflated	DMT
T+ 0:00		smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 0:40	40 - 60 mg	vaporized	DMT
T+ 0:00		smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

Nightmare DMT "Horror Rollercoaster" Trip

I got off work at around 8 pm and headed over to my friend’s house, where we decided to try snorting some DMT because we had read that the “trip” lasts longer and is more mellow. I had already vaporized DMT numerous times and “broken through”, or, “blasted off” many times (mostly positive experiences with one trip that was terrifying, but not as specific as what I would encounter this night) and wanted a different experience, so we went for it. And man, I can tell you that it was not at all worth it. The burn and nasal drip was so relentless that it felt as though I had snorted hot sauce - it just would not go away! My friend and I got some very mild visuals while looking at a tapestry on his wall, but overall were disappointed with the experience and went out for a walk and a cigarette. I can safely say I’ll never try that method of ingesting DMT again.

Upset with the outcome of snorting the DMT, after about 40 minutes or so we decided to just vaporize it how we always had. I loaded up a normal amount for a lighter breakthrough (40-60 mg), heated up my nail, and set some mood lighting in my friend’s room. We decided not to play music for this trip, for whatever reason. Normally we play some kind of relaxed electronic music or jam band stuff, but wanted to see where our minds would take us if left only to themselves with minimal exterior influences or stimuli.

I went into the DMT realm that I had been familiar with for some time now due to previous experiences. I closed my eyes and saw a dark brown tree with female elf characters posing around it, vines entangling them with the trunk, like a painting or tapestry. The elves wee facing away from the tree, which seemed to be breathing or moving in some way. These characters slowly started to move towards me and around the DMT space that my consciousness was fully occupying. They began to transform into jester-like characters, dancing and laughing and getting close to me. Several times I thought they were people that I knew. Everyone I knew and loved. Then my friend somehow unbeknownst to me was able to stand up and let his dog into the room (at this point I couldn’t move and have no idea how he accomplished this). When this happened, his dog jumped onto the bed and started to try to play with us. To me this felt like a million of these jester-like creatures all pouring into the room at once, dancing with each other and welcoming me. The light from hallway was like a flood of feelings of excitement and anxiety and with all of these jesters dancing around, became a bit overwhelming, so I opened my eyes.

Upon opening my eyes I realized that I was still laying on my friend’s bed still and looked at the tapestry in front of us that we looked at in our previous, painful and unsuccessful trip. It was a multicolored assortment of mandalas, with black circles at the center. It made me feel uneasy, so I close my eyes again to be greeted by the elves. Only this time they weren’t happy to see me. They contorted and all began moving towards me slowly. I looked away into what felt like a bottom right corner of whatever realm I was experiencing, and saw one elf, naked, cold and shivering in the void. He was squatting in the dark all alone and looked back over his shoulder at me with demonic eyes. I looked away, horrified only to find that all of the other elves now resembled this lone one. They got into my face and bared their sharp teeth at me. At this point it was clear that they were demons who were not happy that I was in their realm, rather than spritely jesters that were happy to see me.

They began to remind me of every bad thing that I have ever done, witnessed or thought of in my entire life, all at once. Even things that I didn’t know of forgot had happened. My subconscious was being dumped out into my immediate consciousness and I was not ready for it. It was too much to take and I felt as if the world was dropping out beneath me. I didn’t want to live. They continued reminding me over and over in their language of emotion, just how hopeless, futile and distraught the human race (and even more specifically, I) was. That there was no point in any of this. That everything is, always has been and always will be rot and decay. This terrified and depressed me so immensely that I wanted ANYTHING but it. “ANYTHING, PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THIS!!!!” I pleaded to the Universe. But it wouldn’t matter, because this was all that was. All that ever has been. And all that ever would be. There was no escaping this horrific truth that lies deep inside of us. Or at least that’s how I felt in the moment. I didn’t want to live, I didn’t want to die, and I didn’t know what to do.

I opened my eyes again to try to escape this hellish, demon-filled nightmare realm, only to find that the mandala in front of me and cold, lonely reality was just as bad. I felt that nothing was ok, ever had been, or ever would be again. I tried to tell myself that it was only the DMT that I had taken, but this didn’t help. I closed my eyes again to just wait for the trip to pass, not knowing how much time had elapsed since my ingestion of the DMT.

When I closed my eyes this time, I saw a floating skull, only it wasn’t a human skull. It was deformed with an elongated and warped cranium and crooked, sharp, and unevenly sized and shaped teeth. It was writhing with millions of microscopic maggots. It had horrific, off-white, bat-like wings with many small tears in them and seemed to flash and move continuously like a very fast strobe light. I opened my eyes again trying to escape, and actually got some momentary relief from all of the horror. Stupidly, I then closed them again, hoping to return to a positive DMT space, only to see the same flying, maggot-writhing, deformed skull in greater detail. This one was too much, and I can’t even try to (nor do I necessarily want to) try to explain it, so I opened my eyes and left them open, staring at the mandala in front of me in terror. I sat next to my friend, eyes wide with horror without saying a word for what felt like at least 5 or 10 minutes.

Eventually we went downstairs and outside for another cigarette and he asked if I was ok, but I couldn’t bring myself to even talk about what I had just experienced for a solid 15-20 minutes. I slowly was able to climb back into reality, but MAN was that a horrible, terrifying experience.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113259
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Jul 10, 2019	Views: 2,792
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DMT (18) : Difficult Experiences (5), Entities / Beings (37), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)