DOSE: T+ 0:00	1.5 hits	sublingual	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 3:50		smoked	Cannabis
T+ 5:40		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

143 lb

Today I find myself in my early 50s looking back at a long history of psychedelic exploration using many different substances (mostly LSD, mushrooms, cacti, cannabis, DMT, and salvia). Most of the LSD exploration was done in college with no knowledge of how to best use such a useful tool, which resulted in my needing to take a break from all psychedelics for a while. I resumed my studies using all these materials in my 30s, though my approach is much more intentional. Due to life interference I can't trip every weekend, or even every month, so I plan my trips weeks in advance for when I have the house to myself, meditating daily on what I want to do with the trip. Afterward I spend days writing about the experience in order to harvest useful information about me.

I do not take any daily medications, though a variety of NSAIDS have been used during the past long week of migraine headaches. Today I feel okay and am looking forward to tripping. This is a new to me batch of LSD-25 from a trusted source, and my previous trip with it a couple weeks ago was mild test dose of probably 75 ug (i.e. 3/4 of a standard 100 ug dose). Today will be 1.5 doses and I have a high degree of confidence this is actually 150 ug. (On reflection afterward this seems about right.)

T+0:00, Mid-morning (10:40 am): After a bowl of oatmeal, a 1.5 dose LSD tab is now sitting under my tongue. While waiting for effect I busy myself by setting up tripping spaces around the house, loading music into the stereo, disconnecting the phone, etc. My deeper thinking of late revolves heavily around the deaths of all of my family of origin, along with some friends, during the past 5 years, leaving me grieving and questioning what I want to do with the rest of my life.

T+0:25 Starting to feel some warmth and a little agitation, something is starting to build!

T+0:50 Difficult to play guitar, and typing is suddenly more strained as my fingers appear large and clumsy. Some gut discomfort makes me very glad to not have eaten the eggs. It feels like a classic acid trip is forming, from the pulling at my salivary glands to the disconnected sensations coming from all over my body and beyond.

T+1:10 I'm weaving a tapestry out of the goodness from within other people. Some contribute large swaths of fabric, others but a single thread, some just a bit of discarded lint, to create a larger whole. I've been bothered by those I feel only contribute a single thread, but would rather feel gratitude for their being able to do even that much - it all matters and contributes. Oh yeah, I don't know exactly what it is that makes them be the way the are. As always, my advice to me is to stop looking, stop judging, just accept and be part of the journey. Accept and be a part of. Accept and be. Accept. Look at the hand shadows. Accept. The table in front of me and all the objects on it are trying to levitate. Accept. I head outside.

T+2:00 My house has been undergoing roof repair, but nobody is expected to come out today. For the past hour or so I'd been out on the patio in a tie dye shirt, face down, in a fetal position on a mat, and realized the the roofers had showed up, unexpectedly! How special! Oh, and I am flying, great, just great! How long have I laid here while they were working? Accept. Accept. Accept... I'll be fine, people do fine, really.... I look up and confirm, yep, they really are on the roof. Fuck. Oh well, the work needs to be done! I hope they have a better handle on reality than I do since everything I'm seeing is moving about, and if it would just settle down maybe I could get a fix on that tricky reality! I manage to sit upright in the lotus position and am expanding across the universe - and the roofers are here... Searching the web for how to say "inebriated" in Spanish: "embriagado." Mucho embriagado.

T+3:50 I am flying and the roofers are at lunch. So far I haven't had to deal with them directly, and that is good since I am too distracted to converse normally. I add a few tokes of cannabis which surprisingly reinstates my ability to write and type.

I'm aware of always moving forward in time with an increasingly knowledgeable version of myself. My past informs but doesn't control my present and future. Ghost voices of possibilities past need to be celebrated for the knowledge they left me; it is a different type of mourning, more a celebration that we are all connected. As if on cue a friend texts in to commiserate with (well, laugh at, actually) my predicament.

Somehow I'm able to make a peanut butter sandwich and drink more water, both of which seem to give the trip even more energy.

T+4:30 All is well and still tripping very hard! Tumbling butterflies in the garden become a water spray tumbling over rocks and flowing across my yard, this is delightful! Observing my rescued desert tortoise as he starts his day, he is acting very much like a slow motion puppy when he responds to my speaking to him in my "dog voice." I feel a deeper connection with his being than usual.

T+5:10 The roofers are back, and yet, if I allow my minds eye to relax, just a bit, this multi-fractaled morphing pictograph opens, often replacing everything in front of my open eye, quite impressive! Each clump of grass looks like a carved Chinese dragon.

T+5:40 Having just consumed a couple more hits of cannabis and sitting on the back porch, I notice the long tracers from a passing butterfly indicating that, while I'm past the peak, there are still to be many more hours of tripping. The visuals remind me a bit of both DMT and mescaline. They are ever-morphing in both image and concept, and they persist! Looking across the back yard and relaxing I see very complex imagery appearing like a multilayered cloud front blowing toward me, seeming to occupy all the space between the ground and 5 feet up. This cloud is filled with a dense collection of cartoonish, neon, animated images of everything: faces, ideas, connections, concepts, colors, shapes, geometry, history, relationships, atoms, and everything else, all constantly evolving and interacting with one another. Above these clouds is a layer of translucent prismatic structures that don't seem to change as often, other than rotating through the colors, they just hover above the clouds as if to highlight them. Occasionally the highlights from these structures form larger images in conjunction with other structures farther away to make complex images, such as faces, on yet another layer. Penetrating the multiple layers are long green neurons connecting some of the images and showing their interrelatedness. The visions become all encompassing and my open eyed vision is completely obscured by them. This lasts for as long as I can manage to maintain a particular relaxation, much like seeing a "magic eye" picture, which is usually only a few minutes before some interruption brings me out of it. It comes on in waves every few minutes, so I wait for the next one and hop on.

During this period while seeing the long green neuronal structures I experienced a softening of my feelings toward my difficult, deceased mother as I saw how her circumstances influenced what she became. Post trip I'm unable to recall as much of this experience as I'd hoped, but it likely set a stage for future psychedelic healing and release of this mind shackle.

T+6:30 I make the observation that when my back yard turns into a great, green jeweled Chinese dragon and flies, there should not be roofing activities occurring. Accept. Accept.

T+7:30 The roofers are finally gone and I'm eating some supper while everything is still shifting about. Playing guitar is quite satisfying and I do it until I realize daylight is running out and I need a forest bath, so I head out on a walk to a nearby woodsy trail. The woods is a perfect place to be and I wander around for some time just absorbing it and thinking.

T+10:50 Back from a long walk in the woods, somehow getting out before darkness, relaxing in the shower afterward, and now eating while listening to Jean Jarre (yes, I'm old school) and still feeling a bit of the acid in me. This has been a really nice day in spite of the interruptions. Much of the trip was introspective and healing in nature. A rethinking of thoughts. A way to reduce my internal hates and resentments (i.e. make a little peace with my difficult mother thoughts). There was a feeling of connection to existence similar to, though weaker and not as driven, what I feel with mescaline.

T+12:00, off to bed, feeling relaxed and peaceful.

The next day I wake up feeling very hungover, tired, and headachy. This mostly cleared up by the afternoon and I carried on with my day as normal. The field notes taken during this trip were augmented over the next few days as I reflected on and wrote about the experience.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113423
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 53
Published: Dec 4, 2019	Views: 2,559
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2) : Hangover / Days After (46), Personal Preparation (45), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)