DOSE:

25 mg

oral

4-HO-MET

(capsule)

BODY WEIGHT:

155 lb

Day 3 in the forest/mountains with my friend. We each took 25mg metocin at camp at 1pm. The chemical was in fumarate salt powder form, which I had put into gel capsules with turmeric (because that's what they originally contained). I was worried my capsules had degraded in the heat/light or from air during our camping trip because I didn't feel effects until an hour in. Maybe this was due to the cap needing to dissolve first.

The body high came before any visuals, it felt a little hot and as it came on stronger I felt heavy and rubbery. We decided to hike up to the lake that was a little over a mile up the trail. It took some effort and motivation at first, the come up was heavy and sluggish feeling, slightly uncomfortable but not too bad. After a half hour the body load was mostly gone. Had a fun whacky time hiking up to the lake. I've only taken LSD a few times before and a low dose of mushrooms many years ago; the visuals looked to me like a blend of both. Stunning and beautiful visuals, everything was gloopy and melty, but there was also an overlay of hexagonal patterns over everything, usually with strange man in the moon faces within each one. I saw many of the same "eyes" everywhere that I've seen on LSD. Beautiful scenery. To me the headspace/high felt like cannabis, which I'm not very partial towards and may have contributed to my trip going south later on.

Time was definitely running very slowly on our hike to the top. I felt a little bit of anxiety as I always get when I smoke weed, but I was able to shrug it off and focus on our silly conversations and having fun. We got to the lake around 4PM and it was astonishingly beautiful, a great victorious moment, for it felt like we had been hiking for forever. We had been listening to Led Zeppelin 1, and I turned up the music to celebrate. The song was Black Mountain Side, that was some hardcore trippy shit, but fun as hell. I sat on the beach marveling at the scenery and visuals. They had been subtle at times and very apparent at other times on the hike, but now they were in full effect. The music stopped and I began to get lost in my thoughts as I stared at the lake and the trees in the mountains.

My friend tried to explain some insight she was having about this shell on the beach, but it didn't make any sense to me. I don't think she was explaining very well, and after several attempts I joked that maybe I was just stupid, to which she agreed. I think this might have contributed to my downward spiral. I was already feeling very primitive, like an animal, and I had been thinking about how we are just creatures whose only need to live is food and water. I began to lose all sense of human living and culture beyond these basic needs -- social interaction and etiquette, any norms or sense of masculine/feminine, manners, appropriate greetings and small talk with others, legal and illegal, moral and immoral -- gone. I became paranoid and kept saying to myself "holy shit I've lost my mind. I've lost my goddamn mind." I had forgotten everything I had learned regarding these things, and I was continually afraid that the way I was behaving or what I was saying was wrong, bad-mannered, or would otherwise get my thrown in jail or locked up in an asylum. I wouldn't say I experienced ego death but I did forget much about who I was and my past. At one point I truly thought that I had woken up to reality, only to find that my friend I was tripping with was actually my sister my entire life, and that in my paranoid freak-out I had revealed that I was some reprobate drug fiend and a heartbreaking disappointment to her.

This all happened over the course of maybe 20 minutes before we decided to go back, and extended into our hike back to camp, which thankfully went by rather quickly. During that time a few other hikers had greeted as and tried talking to us, but I had no idea what to say or how to act. But eventually we made it back down the mountain and I sobered up and came back to my senses. It was a bit of a shame, because those visuals were really something else. An awesome blend of organic, earthy swirling and electric, holographic patterns. Many say metocin has a very easy-going headspace, and they're probably right, I guess I'm just one of those in the minority where THC makes me anxious and uncomfortable, and as I mentioned this reminded me a lot of weed.

Back at camp I had a moment alone, which is where I regained my senses. I think I could've pulled myself out of the bad trip earlier if I had the sense to take a moment or two to myself and regroup. By this point most of the visuals were gone, but there did seem to be a lingering "vibe", and colors were still a little saturated. I think most people who are used to smoking weed will probably have a much easier time than I did. Apart from losing my head at the end there and those moments of introspection on the lake beach, the headspace wasn't overwhelmingly psychedelic, and I still had a lot of fun. I can see how it might be difficult around sober strangers or in public though. Next time I will probably trip alone.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113549
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Sep 25, 2019	Views: 1,338
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4-HO-MET (436) : Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)