DOSE:

1.5 g

oral

Smarts - Phenibut

This is a report on a bad day I had and how phenibut helped me.

I woke up feeling pretty bad, but this happens a lot. I have a lot of trouble regulating my depression and anxiety. Maybe that’s normal and I just live in a time and place when there’s a lot to be depressed and scared about, or maybe it's not normal and it's just something else. I almost always try to escape these troubles by self-medicating with alcohol, cannabis, and whatever I can, but that’s not always an option (and it doesn’t always work). Anyway, I just kind of wanted to go back to sleep that morning. I watched some comedy and laughed a bit, but eventually I did just go back to sleep. I woke up a lot later not feeling better.

I spent the rest of that day pretty much in my room. Watching the time pass, feeling stuck, wondering if I will have to keep running from these troubles for the rest of my life. Hours and hours of suicidal thoughts and tears. Ten thousand frowns, an open flame on my softest spot, my inner child being put to death in the cruelest way.

As night comes I realize I’m too worked up to go back to sleep, so I decide it won’t be too much of a waste to take some phenibut (which is the only drug that I really have at the moment). I take a gram and a half and then continue pulling my hair out and fretting. Despite this, I think just the thought of having an intoxicant in my system helped me calm down a bit.

Over the next two hours any extreme feelings I had simply faded away. My demons melted like lemon drops. I just forgot what had made me so sad… was it anything? Oh yeah… my life sucks. I’m so trapped and misunderstood. The same thoughts as earlier run through my head but they just don’t seem to bother me. Instead I’m in an optimistic mood. I tell myself to just do my best in life and that I must except that everything else is out of my control. I’m still not really in a happy mood but I am calm.

And that’s how phenibut helped me gain control of myself when I was kind of losing it.

Exp Year: 2019	ExpID: 113629
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Dec 5, 2019	Views: 1,232
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Smarts - Phenibut (379) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)