Unusual Experience (Wet Road)
Ketamine
Citation: Cosmokat. "Unusual Experience (Wet Road): An Experience with Ketamine (exp11455)". Erowid.org. Aug 28, 2002. erowid.org/exp/11455
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
60 mg | IM | Ketamine | (liquid) |
T+ 2:00 | 350 mg | IM | Ketamine | (liquid) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 180 lb |
I became keenly interested in trying K after reading “Ketamine: Dreams & Realities” by Carl Janson. The descriptions of the K experience were unlike any of my past psychedelic experiences and I just knew I had to try this drug. I am thankful because I have a knowledgeable friend who was willing to sit for me, and who has experience as a sitter. I am grateful to him for being so calm, so gentle, non-judgmental, and for creating a safe place for me to simply ‘be.’ I feel strongly that his attitude and demeanor were extremely helpful.
We were on my very comfortable bed, around midnight, lights low with Delirium’s “Karma” CD playing, which ended up being the perfect music. The first time I injected 60 mg into my thigh and about two minutes later I felt vaguely drunk and everything looked shaky. That was it. I expected it to be much more intense and I was disappointed. Was that all there was to it? What about the K-hole? Good thing I had lots more.
This time, to make sure, I decided to do everything I had left. A few hours later, at about 2:15 a.m., I injected approximately 350 mg. (To make it fit into a 100 cc syringe, we baked it into a powder and reconstituted it into a smaller amount of liquid, a process my sitter knew about.) I laid back on my bed waiting for it and within a minute or two I started to feel it come on much more quickly and strongly than before. I thought to myself, “Ah yeah, I know it’s coming this time. It’s happening!” I was very excited.
My lovely, sweet cat came to me just then and laid right on my chest. I petted her, feeling one with her. I could feel her tiny, fast heartbeat on my chest; her purr was loud and comforting in my head. Her aura was beautiful, I could feel it mix with mine. I felt such love between my cat and I. I felt so much love emanating from her, it was almost overwhelming and there was also this simple feeling of KNOWING between us -- I can’t explain any more than that. My mind was so enjoying all of this and where it was going; it was like my mind was having orgasms! I actually began moaning with pleasure. I heard my sitter say that I was so beautiful and I felt myself smile and thought to myself, “Yes! Yes I am beautiful, aren’t I? Of course I am! Everything is beautiful. Yes!” A few minutes later my cat stepped off my chest and I felt a sudden vacuum where she had been. It was painful, cold, and like a round, oblong empty space on top of my body.
Then I rolled over onto my side, curling up and away from the vacuum. With my eyes closed, I suddenly saw vast plains of infinite light, some red, some blue and in all different textures. At that point, I remember not knowing if my eyes were opened or closed and I put my hand up to my face to make sure. (They were.) I saw a world of infinite plates of glass. Painted on them were pictures of people, some realistic looking, some cartoony. They were walking, talking, and going about their lives, only they were flat and painted on the glass. I then went to a water world were I was enjoying floating around on the ripples of blue, green and yellow light. I came to notice one particular speck of light that looked different from the ripples and went toward it. This is when something profound happened.
I was drawn, suddenly and without warning, into a new reality. It was not dreamy anymore; it was REAL, as real and clear as when I’m in a non-drug state. I knew at once that this was really happening somewhere else besides my bedroom and that I was actually there. In particular, I was seeing the world through the eyes of a young woman who was laying on the side of the road in her last moment of life. We were looking through each other’s eyes, gazing in the same direction, and together we both understood what was happening at the same time. We were one with each other and I knew she understood this too. It’s like there were three entities; me, her, and me/her. Her body (my body) was lying perpendicular to the road, most of it on the grassy shoulder, but her head was laying directly on the white, painted line. I could see it extend off into the distance. I even knew her name, which was Megan. She had long, very straight hair and a long nose.
I/we could see the reflections of light bouncing off the water on the wet road. It was night and the reflections were coming from the headlights and the flashing lights of the police or fire vehicles that were behind us, outside our field of vision. I/we watched a snowflake float down and land directly on our right eyeball that created a beautiful moment of fragmented light before disappearing. I understood at once that she was dying and that her consciousness (or her “essence” or “soul”) was stuck in her body. She could not know or see what to do – she was frightened, frozen from fear, she needed help and I knew what I needed to do help her. I knew this was why I was here with her at this very moment. In our shared field of vision was a row of pine trees, a bit back from the road. I showed them to her. I showed her, through our eyes, what she could not see on her own - I showed her “THE TREES.”
You see, The Trees were beckoning to her and when looking through our combined eyes, they looked different, with a different texture -–somewhat surreal – and nothing like a K vision – it’s hard to explain. They were beckoning to us, to an infinite opening – The Trees were awaiting, benevolent, protective, strong, warm, and loving. When she looked and understood them, we gently left her body and started up toward the trees (and all that they meant). It was beautiful, awe-inspiring, right, and good. It gave me an overwhelming sense of utter joy, love, connectedness and inner-calm. Just then, my sitter shifted on the bed and suddenly it was over. I was now back in my bed in “my” reality, still deep in a K-Hole. A thought occurred to me that he might be leaving the room, which scared me, so I asked him not to leave. He told me he was not going anywhere. I felt a powerful rush of love and warmth for him and said to him, “You are MY tree,” meaning that I felt that he was benevolent, strong, protective and good. I remember nodding then and saying, “Yes, Yes, the trees, the trees” as I went back to my visions.
The rest of my trip was like the first part: more vast plains of light and texture that I was moving over, around, and under. Then I came to a place for just a brief moment that was clean, clear, empty, light, nothingness. I saw and felt this emptiness, and I can remember as I write this how it looked and felt and it is something that I would very much like to feel again. Nothingness exists! This was almost too much for my brain to handle and I reached out for my bedroom, for a “somethingness,” a reality to grasp on to.
I sat up finally and it was hard to think and talk, but I desperately needed to tell my sitter about Megan. It was hard for my numb mouth to form words, all I could say was “Wet Road” and I wasn’t sure he understood. I repeated slowly, “Www-et. Rooo-ad. Understand?” These were the only words that came out at first. “Wet Road” to me was my way of telling him that I experienced something REAL, someone else’s reality that was nothing like the K visions that Janson described in this book (although I experienced many of those too). My sitter gently asked me to say more and I managed to get out, “Wet Road. Snow on the eye. Light on the road and the trees.” I was still in a drugged state, but able to talk, and my sitter asked me how much time had gone by. I estimated it to be 10 or 15 minutes. It had been exactly an hour.
As I came down and was able to talk more coherently, we discussed my experience for a long time. I tried hard to clarify what had happened so that he could understand that I had projected into someone who was dying. He asked me if I thought it was real and I strongly believed at that moment (and I still do) that it actually happened; however I remember feeling that if I said I thought it was very, very real, he’d think that I was crazy. Although I knew without a doubt it was real, I almost couldn’t say it. Furthermore, if I told him I even knew her name he would think I was even crazier. I was sure he would pat me on the back and agree with me but not really believe it. I debated with myself for awhile whether to tell him that I knew her name and that what had happened was real. I was so relieved, after some further discussion, when I finally realized that he believed my fully and I felt that I had a safe, accepting space to explain all the details and exactly how I felt. I was able to fall asleep a few hours after coming down with no problem at all. Hour later when I woke, my very first thought was, “Wet road.”
I am writing this about 15 or 16 hours after my experience and I still feel like something extraordinary happened. I have a sense of calm, well being and stillness that is really quite wonderful.
Exp Year: 2001 | ExpID: 11455 |
Gender: Female | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Aug 28, 2002 | Views: 54,859 |
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Ketamine (31) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2), General (1) |
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