DOSE: T+ 0:00	3 ml	oral	GHB	(liquid)
T+ 1:00	20 mg	oral	25B-NBOMe	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:30	1 hit	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)
T+ 0:00	repeated	oral	GHB	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

58 kg

Me, my partner and two of our best friends is at home celebrating my graduation from uni, since the graduation ceremony was cancelled due to the covid pandemic.

T0: Got home after BBQing at the local beach. Me and my partner L took a shot of GHB each (the batch we have is pretty weak so I usually start with 3ml and my partner with 4ml), and our friends B and E drank alcohol and did a line of amphetamine.

T+1hr GHB: Feeling relaxed, happy and sociable from the GHB. Me and my partner have used GHB at least one time a week the past 8 months and are very comfortable with navigating this state. This report is not so much about GHB, just wanted to note that we keep taking shots throughout the night shots to stay at our "optimal" level of GHB-buzz. The timestamps from here on is about the 2C-B!

T0 2cb: 20mg. To add that extra spice for the celebration, me and L swallow each neon batman press pill of 2C-B, which was sold to us as 20mg. We have tried pills from this batch previously with great success and know it's a perfect dose for this type of night. Shortly after ingesting the 2C-B, E and I decide to go for a walk in the forest, which is really close by. Before I leave I take a small shot of GHB (~ 1ml)

T+40min ~1hr: Not sure if I feel any 2C-B effects yet, or if its still mostly the GHB, but the forest walk is magical and the air feels soft and dense in a typically psychedelic way (it's also a hot night, 27 degrees celsius at 8pm). I act on every impulse to touch leafs and branches that I pass, and feel a fullness and connectedness to the world and nature. The conversation gravitates towards deep topics, reflecting on emotional experiences in our relationships and in the world, without fear. Both me and E are uninhibited and confesses our love for each other as friends in a way I have a hard time doing without anxiety otherwise. We also reflect upon the bond we share though the use of drugs, as there are few we would be comfortable even confessing this shared interest to. We sit down close to a trickling stream of water and continue to let the conversation explore the more hidden sides of our thoughts. After a while, we decide to head back, and end up taking some stunning pictures of each other in the evening sun shining though the foliage. I feel beautiful and at ease, and totally forget about the lack of connection I've been experiencing in the COVID-pandemic.

T+1,5hr: We are all in our livingroom, having conversations about everything and anything, and listening to music and watching the videos on our smart-TV. I am still not sure if the 2C-B has fully kicked in, so take a hit of L's joint to try to jumpstart the experience. It doesn't do much, but I am happy anyway. I take another shot of GHB (1,5 ml), and continue to enjoy the company and the atmosphere.

T+2hr-3hr: Suddenly everything is amazing. The light is a yellow, pink-ish shimmer and I feel like I'm vibrating with joy along with the music. I tell the others this, or rather, I cannot stop telling them. I am in awe of this condition I find myself in, I almost cry from the feeling of complete peace and excitement for life. I find myself waking up to the fact that I am in the middle of life, that it is going on right now and that it is the most profound experience ever. I reflect upon my life situation and conclude that I am so happy to be where I am today, and decide that I should really appreciate it more instead of just setting my sight toward the next milestone to achieve in order to allow myself to be happy only then. I am thankful to wake up to this, and feel happy to have people around me that understands. For a while I ascribe this feeling to the drug itself, and confess my love for 2C-B with much conviction, but then realize that this feeling and insight needs to be held on to also afterwards for it to be of any actual worth.

I am also confronted with the thought that everyone can find such insights, and that psychedelics are a good shortcut to this, but that most people never will find their way to these feelings simply because of how socially constructed cages that they confine themselves to in the hope of being good law abiding citizens inhibits them from even considering using these kinds of drugs. I feel sorrow for this truth, and especially for people close to me who I really want to share this experience with. I realize that my mom will probably never know this experience. She is a scientist who raised children much on her own, and she knows so much, but I feel so sad when I think about how I can never share this with her. This though of my mother leads me into a state of nostalgia, and I spend some time showing the others old home videos from when I was a child. They are open to this activity, which again makes me feel thankful and loved, and together we reflect upon our parents view of the world and themselves, connecting to them in their absence. I also feel connected to the videos of a 3 year old me in an interesting way. I usually have a hard time seeing the person in old pictures or videos as actually being me, but now I feel like I am still that child, and she is somehow the grown me already in those videos. This feeling reassures me that physical form is not the most important thing in this life, that the continuance of my soul is beyond my form.

T+3hr: We are dancing and I have so much energy. I feel like stars are shooting out of my fingertips and making waves in the air, and I play around with this to the music. The world outside feels friendly and open, as opposed to how it has felt anything but for most of this year due to the pandemic. I am also amazed that it has only been 3 hours since I took the 2C-B, as it feels like weeks ago I felt any worry or frustration over the current state of the world. It also feels like I will not feel these negative feelings again, like everything will be alright from here on out. Somewhere here I do another shot of GHB as well (3ml).

T +3,5hr: Me and L find ourselves in the kitchen while B and E are chatting away in the livingroom. I cannot stop myself from touching him, and we move to the bathroom for some alone-time. The sex is out of this world. It feels as though we are machines and animals, all at the same time. This feels natural, and not "mindfucky" like having sex on LSD. I am not self conscious in any way, and find great pleasure in keeping eyecontact for minutes at the time. It's primal and sweaty and playful. Although we've lived together for soon to be 7 years, I feel as though this living thing (my partner) is a vast unexplored territory, and I want to know this being for who he is - not who I want him to be or think that he is. I feel so clear about this I make a mental note to keep this feeling afterwards. We proceed to take a shower together, and every sense revels in the sensation of water, steam and closeness and novelty of it all.

T+4,5-7hrs: We again join the others in the living room. The peak is past but the shimmering light and emotional calm and feelings of connectedness remains. We do some more G during this time (again like 3ml), and I get acute munchies and consume leftovers from the BBQ, as well as candy and snacks. This is bliss and ecstasy in yet another way! The conversations alternate between deep and silly all past midnight, and we are exploring our pasts and relations together and listening to nostalgic music. When I start to feel a bit worn out I say good night and me and L go to sleep. All in all, a well needed break from the grim reality of the pandemic, and I did infact remember to hold on to the insights afterwards.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114576
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 32
Published: Jul 9, 2020	Views: 3,578
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2C-B (52), GHB (25) : General (1), Combinations (3), Sex Discussion (14), Small Group (2-9) (17)