DOSE: T+ 0:00	4	oral	Cannabis	(edible / food)
T+ 0:45	1	oral	Cannabis	(edible / food)

BODY WEIGHT:

179 lb

Post-Legalization Edible Experience

I took a 35 mg dose of edible cannabis (according to the packaging); a mix of two different brands were used – two 10 mg gummies, and three 5 mg mints. This is a rough description of the experience.

Timeline:

00:00 – Two 10 mg gummies and two 5 mg mints taken.

00:45 – Sitting outside on the third-floor balcony of my apartment with a burning citronella candle to keep the bugs away, I begin to feel a numb feeling in my limbs and my head begins to feel expansive. The sun also appears brighter, and I decide to retreat into my apartment living room to sit with my girlfriend (Bee). I also decide to take another 5 mg mint as Bee and I begin to discuss the details of dinner.

01:15 – Effects are intensifying and my anxiety heightens as I realize that I’ve taken almost double my usual dose of edibles. I busy myself with stroking our shih tzu, Bella, and taking her out for a walk. We walk for fifteen minutes, and in the meantime the effects of the edibles become extremely cerebral. Looking at my legs I become preoccupied with how hairy and long they are. I begin to imagine that I looked more like my Dad, and if someone looked at me in that moment, that I would appear to be a middle-aged man rather than someone in their mid-twenties. The increasing intensity of the THC amplified these thoughts many times and cartoon visions of my inner world begin to flash through my mind. Anxiety also builds as I grow concerned about being overwhelmed by the experience.

01:30 – After Bella pees, we walk back up to the third floor. I was not hallucinating, but for some reason my senses started to feel overwhelmed by the typically mundane hallways outside my apartment. I begin to feel somewhat threatened by the multicolored carpeting, and simultaneously depressed/disgusted by the building in general. Everything seems imbued with both positive and negative significance to me as my thoughts turned inward and became excessively analytical .

I should note that at this point, the effects of the edibles had become significantly more powerful, and I was beginning to regret taking a large dose.

01:45 – Bee is preparing dinner, we had decided earlier to make a tortellini penne-rosa dish. I think that taking a shower might help me hold things together, or at least help reduce my building anxiety. I also hope to keep my distance from Bee and Bella as I no longer feel confident in my ability to behave normally around Bee (she knew I was on edibles, but regardless I often feel the need to hide any sign of intoxication). Additionally, whenever I get even mildly high, Bella and animals in general become unpredictable to me, threatening even. Bella has a habit of staring at me and Bee whenever we do anything; usually, I barely notice her, but when high I find Bella’s staring un-nerving.

I step into the bathroom and get ready to shower.

02:15 (to the end of my shower) – Showering was an incredibly bad idea, as I am very much starting to hit the peak of the effects of the edibles and just the feeling of warm water flowing over my skin prompted a multi-sensory reaction from my body. I have a vivid vision of my mind being immersed in what I could only describe as – the spinning brushes in a car wash. However, the rope-like bristles of these brushes were constructed out of fractal geometry and were constantly morphing into disturbing materials like nerve endings. I had some control over the morphing, but they also reacted to my anxiety creating a positive feedback loop of more disturbing imagery.

I begin to feel like I was losing my mind and as some rational part of my mind recoiled from the chaos, I remember thinking rather dully – “I do not feel normal.” I also remember realizing that, at least outwardly, I was behaving completely normally as if nothing was happening inside my head. Applying shampoo and lathering on body wash, then washing it off. Turning off the water, stepping out of the shower, drying off with a towel, and finally getting dressed. At the moment, I was hyper aware of everything I was doing and all of the things I could do instead; this gave me the sense that I had little control over myself, and what actions I did take felt scripted/robotic.

04:15 – Over the next couple hours I feel extremely dissociated as the peak drags on. My thoughts descend into chaos as I watch Bee cook and as we both listen to Now, now. I was unable to stop myself from thinking about how fragile everyone’s mental state was, and how finite my sense of sight, touch, and smell were. My anxiety was oscillating in peaks and troughs – during the troughs I was distracted in semi-normal conversation with Bee and petting Bella. During the peaks, it is hard to describe what exactly I felt or saw. I did not hallucinate, but I had the sense that I was able to perceive systems and truths that were normally not apparent to me ; however, now that I am sober it is unclear if these realizations were just common ideas amplified by the edibles or too profound to hold onto without transcription.

We began to eat and watch Bob’s Burgers towards the end of this time. I also noticed the effects of the edibles waning significantly, becoming much more manageable. I discuss my experience with Bee and she tells me that she did not notice my intoxication at all, besides that I seemed a little more quiet than usual and also seemed to enjoy Bob’s Burgers much more than she expected.

06:15 – After a time, I felt a mental clarity and calm as the “afterglow” of the experience began to wash over me. This eventually turned into mental exhaustion and a strong desire to lay down in bed.

In reflection, I am not sure if cannabis and I really agree with each other. All of the usual therapeutic effects of cannabis, anxiety and pain relief, did not seem to apply to me. Cannabis has always magnified my anxiety and exaggerated both pleasant and unpleasant thoughts, morphing them into fractal-like trains. Most feelings of pain or discomfort do not go away; rather, these also transform into unrecognizable sensory experiences. It does help me come to terms with my ongoing struggle with chronic anxiety, sometimes. I also tend to be more forgiving of my own feelings when intoxicated, mostly out of survival. Often times, I become aware that I am the source of my own anxiety and I will try to soothe myself internally.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114630
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Aug 3, 2020	Views: 1,826
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