DOSE:

30 mg

oral

4-HO-MiPT

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

This was my first time ever using a psychedelic drug. I’ve smoked weed and had spacecake before, even a bit of quality Dutch ecstasy, but never something that would dissolve me into a cosmic soup of atoms. The reason why I chose to do this was rather strange - let me explain. (Side note: English isn’t my first language, so forgive any grammatical or spelling errors I might make.)

Two weeks prior to taking this drug, I vomited. Nothing really unusual, but I hadn't vomited for well over fourteen years. In fact, it was so long ago I quite forgot what vomiting actually felt like. After this mighty puking session I thought of ‘la purga’, a common occurrence during ayahuasca ceremonies. So, I figured, I had a ‘purga’ of my own, maybe now is the time to take a trip to the psychedelic spirit world myself. Besides, I have always been interested in psychedelics, psychedelic experiences and how psychedelics have played a role in the world’s major religions and spiritualities.

Two weeks later and I consulted friends who had had psychedelic experiences and got myself some 4-HO-MiPT. Not exactly anything like ayahuasca of course, but a potent tryptamine nonetheless. University would start a week away, my girlfriend was supportive and my parents were out of the house as well. I couldn’t have asked for a more ideal set and setting. On the day of the trip I had a nice workout in the morning and ate a light meal four hours prior to taking the substance, as is recommended. At 19:30 I took 30mg, one tiny condensed pill of 20mg and another half a pill of 10mg. This is quite a strong dose, especially for a first-timer, and I don’t recommend anyone doing this without a tripsitter. But I wanted to cross over to the other side, and cross over I did.

Half an hour passed and I could feel the first effects kicking in. Everything suddenly seemed really funny and I couldn’t stop laughing. It wasn’t exactly like the laughter you feel after taking a few hits from a joint, no, this laughter seemed to rise up from my diaphragm and streamed effortlessly out of my body. A few minutes later I saw the vaguest hint of patterns forming all around me. The entire world seemed to crystallize into these patterns and they seemed to communicate with me. These patterns welcomed me into their realm and they were glad I was finally with them. I found this amazingly funny and heartwarming: I have talked plenty with friends about these types of experiences, and now I was experiencing something similar. The patterns seemed to swirl around me, caught up in a cosmic dance.

I wondered what else I could see now in this newly discovered realm, so I decided to open up one of my windows looking out into a small square. There was a tree there. Lo and behold, the tree started talking to me! I could see that the tree was made out of the same friendly patterns, and with my newfound insight I could communicate with them. The tree told me his name was Alfred and that he thought it was a shame we lived so close together but never spoke to each other. I laughed and agreed, and promised him I would talk to him more often. I looked up at the clouds and saw that they were all swirly and groovy like the rest of the world, which I found funny as well. This was the end of the come up-fase and also the point where my ego dissolved.

The visuals were getting a bit overwhelming at this point. Before closing my window I saw a mosquito fly into my room. I thought of the insect, and it suddenly felt like thousands of tiny bugs were crawling under my skin. I couldn’t distinguish myself from the mosquito anymore! I panicked a bit. I decided it was time to take it a lot easier, as I had been dancing and laughing all around with the swirly patterns. I decided to turn on some music - “Let’s Groove” by Earth, Wind and Fire and sat down on my meditation mat. I closed my eyes, and as the chorus came up I saw an unending amount of angel-like beings dancing in a spiral going all the way up into infinity. These angels were not unlike the thrones from the Biblical stories - rings with eyes. They didn’t seem like ordinary angels, but I was absolutely convinced they were at the time. I felt my body dissolving into this cosmic soup of primordial patterns and decided it was best to lay down on my bed.

Several songs came and went, and I found that if I wasn’t absolutely concentrated on the music it would sound sinister and terribly off. However, if I gave it my full attention, I could see the music forming into patterns that would tell me ancient stories. The music I played was of a fantastical and ancient nature with lots of natural sounds, so this helped a lot. All of these visuals were closed-eyed. In fact, everything I saw with open eyes was far too stimulating: the world around me was dissolved into a swirling mass. All I could do was lay down and let it wash over me.

My ego was far gone. My body had become one with the world around me. The patterns formed into ancient-feeling geometry which at the time revealed all the secrets of the universe to me. In this geometry I could recognize Jungian archetypes dancing within them, and one of these archetypes actually spoke to me: the Great Mother. She appeared to me as an ancient powerful deity of nature and told me I was a son of hers. I could see that I was one with these primordial patterns: the first governing principle of the universe. After death my body and ego would dissolve into this ancient fabric of reality. I had a peek behind the curtains.

Three hours later and I came down a bit again. I found that I had a body, and I was grateful for it. I still stood into this world of the Gods with one leg, so I grabbed my phone and typed out paragraphs of texts to one of my friends and my girlfriend about my experience and what I saw. It seemed a bit nonsensical to them, but they were glad I was back again. I didn’t sleep at all that night: I felt way too stimulated and still analyzed everything that happened. The next morning I felt a bit melancholy: I had the sensation I had seen everything! After a good night’s sleep however I felt completely back to normal again, with new subjective insights about the nature of the world.

Overall, the experience was quite challenging, but this was also due to my inexperience with psychedelics. I was shot through a cannon to the dimension of the Gods and luckily came back with my sanity. I saw and experienced things I didn’t believe were possible, and I am extremely glad I went on this journey.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114820
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Oct 2, 2020	Views: 943
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