DOSE: T+ 0:00	180 mg	IM	Ketamine
T+ 0:05	3 hits	vaporized	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

12 st

DOSE / SUBSTANCE: 180mg Ketamine (IM), 3 tokes on 1000mg/2ml DMT vape liquid.
SETTING: Spare room of my flat, on sofa with weighted blanket and Mindfold.
SET: Feeling positing, although somewhat “stuck” in negative thought patterns. I’ve been feeling too anxious to take the plunge with a longer-acting psychelelic.

BACKGROUND

I’ve had a variety of drug experiences, having misused stimulants for a number of years, dabbled in most other things, and had experience with most conventional and Shulgin-esque psychedelics. Tryptamines are the one thing I’d consider a sacrament opposed to a drug and I’ve only ever used them occasionally (2-4 times a year for personal development).

I’d recently moved back to my home town, initially to start my final Diploma to become a therapist, however I dropped out of the course early on as I felt the need to “get my own house in order” before trying to help other people. In the following months I’d been working a job which involves helping people but isn’t what I truly envision myself doing. The pay has allowed me to live comfortably – but I now found myself in a small town in which I no longer know many people, not doing the course I hoped to do, and living on my own for the first time. I had been feeling in limbo for some months.

 During these months I had been using the money I had saved for the course to pursue personal therapy, and although this had been of use in relation to being more open and connected with those I care for, I feel I’d kind of hit a spiritual brick wall. I found myself using destructive drugs, binge watching TV and just generally trying to seep and much time away as possible.



I don’t particularly like DMT and I find the come-up unpleasant and the experience usually too surreal to learn much from. Ketamine I find useful but the insights and usually fleeting and don’t generally last longer than the experience itself. However, in my current situation I was feeling too anxious to take anything longer lasting as I had not tripped properly in a while, and I had both of these substances on hand. I also felt the need for a short but strong dose to break through the mental barrier I felt up against.



T+0:00 – I IM the 180mg Ketamine, and put on a soundtrack which had Northern European shamanic themes. 



T+0:05 – I wait till I can feel the initial effects of the Ketamine in my system and then take 3 long tokes on my DMT vape (3x 20mg DMT apx.) at a fairly low wattage to avoid coughing and having that generally unpleasant taste in my mouth.



T+0:10 – I pull the blindfold over my eyes as I feel myself transition into the DMT state, and pull the weighed blanket put to my neck before I begin to fall through the sofa as often happens when I K-hole.



T+till I come round 20 mins later – I fall into darkness, I’m merged with the soft fabric of whatever world I’ve fallen into, I’m not human or being… in fact I feel like part of the wall of this world. Yet somehow the wall is moving and as I move with it I transition through different textures and materials. Some entities appear in the opposite walls to me and show me intricate machines behind the fabrics of which I’m now a part. We communicate telepathically, but the emphasis is on how these entities have been hard at work ensuring everything runs smoothly behind the scenes, whilst I have been dwindling (even wishing) my life away with time-wasting and harmful patterns of behaviour. It’s time to take things seriously they say (or, it’s time to pull you’re finger out of your arse! As we’d say in the UK).



T+0:30 – As I come round things are somewhat hazy and although I got the general emphasis of what happened, I didn’t quite “understand it”.



Next Day
The next day I reflected on the experience of the night before, taking a small short toke of the DMT vape and a low dose of Ketamine. I rolled around in bed, in awe of the world around me – thankful to be a part of this time and place. 

Later that day I cycled to the local Gym and joined up, going for my first jog / doing my first exercise since lock-down begun. I later contacted a Personal Trainer, which I’d been putting off for as long as I can remember. I now have my first session booked in with him.



I used to think the DMT experience was too surreal to gain any useful insight, but perhaps I was wrong. I don’t know how long this positive outlook will last, but I do know it’s down to me to put the effort in to maintain it. Here’s to a brighter future beyond the wall.



A Few Days Later
I’ve still been encountering the “Monkey Mind” and distractions are still a part of life, yet I’ve been more able to focus as single tasks at hand (reading again is one of the main things I’d been neglecting and seemed to be having an aversion to). Hopefully it’s onwards and upwards from here.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 114895
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Nov 5, 2020	Views: 1,407
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DMT (18), Ketamine (31) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)