DOSE: T+ 0:00	50 mg	oral	Tetrahydroharmine
T+ 7:30	100 - 150 mg	oral	Syrian Rue	(extract)
T+ 8:30	37 mg	oral	DMT
T+ 8:30	40 - 50 mg	oral	Tetrahydroharmine
T+ 9:45	15 mg	oral	DMT
T+ 9:45		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

T 0:00 50 mg THH
T +7:30 – As a S. rue manske extraction
- 61 mg HMN, 37 mg HMLN
- 37 mg HMN
- 50 mg THH (purchased online)
T+8:30
- 37 mg DMT
- 40 mg THH
T+9:45 – 15 mg DMT
T +10:45 – Cannabis sativa
Fasting

Using online publications (Riba 2003, Gable 2006, Callaway 1996) average concentrations of DMT, Harmine, Harmaline and Tetrahydroharmine in ayahuasca samples were determined. The doses of DMT, Harmine, Harmaline and THH were chosen based on the average concentrations found in ayahuasca.

I had eaten minimally the previous day (1,000 calories), and ran 3.5 miles. I had taken 88 mg Harmala alkaloids extracted from Peganum harmala seeds (Manske) that night, which produced very mild closed eye visuals with marijuana. Today (Saturday) I continued to eat minimally (1,000 calories) and took 50mg THH at roughly 11:00 am upon arrival of the package. No significant effects were felt from the THH alone during the course of a normal Saturday afternoon. But my mood overall was optimistic from the constant harmala exposure, though slightly ornery at times due to hunger.

6:30 pm - An initial dose of P. harmala alkaloids was weighed for three people – Micah, Remy and myself and dissolved in diluted vinegar. Since this was their first time taking harmalas, an hour was allowed to pass before ingesting the DMT, to avoid a difficult situation if an adverse reaction was experienced from the harmalas. At a low but effective dose (100-150 mg), the harmalas cause a warmth with mild change in consciousness similar to alcohol or marijuana, and an overall feeling of ease and optimism. The THH riffs on the feelings of positivity. A tingling body feeling was reported by Micah. Micah and Remy play chess in the kitchen, waiting for the harmalas to take effect. It’s winter, we are in a lovely, well-furnished, old farmhouse. I burned sage during the chess game.

7:30 pm - The DMT was taken in a similar manner, dissolved in dilute vinegar with 50mg THH. I blew jungle tobacco over each glass prior to ingesting, which was followed by a toast to our good intentions. Threshold effects were observed in each participant, consisting of CNS arousal, giggling, dilated pupils and, when concentrating, slight movement of solid surfaces. I experienced a mild urge to do a “life review” I typically encounter psychedelic experiences, though the overall effects were minimal. Most of the time was spent listening to Bossa Nova in the living room, waiting. Like elevator music, or call waiting.

8:45 pm - After the oncoming effects plateaued, we each took a booster of 15 mg DMT. The threshold effects persisted for another hour. More elevator music, but no increased effects. It was suspected that the window for monoamine oxidase inhibition by the harmalas had past, and it was agreed that we all would share a joint. The marijuana is a landrace sativa strain from Idukki, India.

9:45 pm - During cannabis consumption, Remy baked some biscuits, while Micah and I fenced with Bokkens (practice Samurai swords), which was immensely engaging. Remy ate one biscuit and an apple, I also ate an apple and about ¼ biscuit. I try to convince Remy and Micah to play music (bass, mandolin, guitar) but Remy said he felt very tired, and went to sleep. Shortly after, sitting in the Kitchen talking to Micah, I suddenly felt very drowsy, and I had to lay down. I laid down on the living room couch, mostly suspecting a blood sugar reaction from fasting the previous 2 days. After 5 minutes, I sit up and continue conversing with Micah.

10:30 pm - In the living room, the main light on the ceiling has a cloth draped under it. It gives the fluorescent bulb an indirect glow. The cloth is tacked to the ceiling at each corner, covering the light. The cloth is a drab “tie dye” of sky and royal blue with a few blotches of pale yellow near the edges - very innocuous. This cloth light covering was an object of attention during time spent in the living room earlier, waiting for effects and listening to elevator music, and for some reason, seemed to be the litmus test for whether “it was working.” Me and Remy would periodically stare at the glowing surface of the cloth to determine if we were starting to trip. Nothing beyond a slight movement and very, very mild patterning was observed (by me at least). Others confirmed the movement or saw a film or halo.

Now, as I’m speaking with Micah, I start to feel light-headed and some brain fog. I tell him I think I might actually be tripping after all. I also feel extremely hungry and debilitated by it. Some prior research had led me to the advice that eating food can cause pharmahuasca to suddenly kick in, stimulating digestion. So it made sense I was feeling some effects, and I was wondering if Remy was feeling the same after his drowsiness.

I look up at the blue glowing lamp cloth for a litmus test and boom! The entire thing is a glowing orb of the most intricate and gorgeous array of fractal imagery I’ve seen whilst tripping, consisting of sky and royal blues. It appeared lacey and organic yet very geometric/angular at the same time, migrating into the center of the array at a very slow pace. A jaguar head, comprised of the fractal imagery, occupied the center of the orb. This is not the first time I’ve encountered this jaguar archetype while tripping, as jaguars have been special to me since I did a report on them in 3rd grade, but this time it feels different. This time I know that the orb is a portal to the spirit world, and the jaguar is my spirit guide, and DMT is the real deal. It’s so intense I have to break my gaze. “Ah, Micah! I’m tripping! It’s working! It was the biscuit!”

Micah proceeds to consume a biscuit. However, he didn’t experience anything much beyond the same mild effects, though he did mention something about patterns on the cloth. I build up some courage and turn my focus back to the orb. It’s normal. But when I hold a gaze and watch the surface at the center, it turns into a very simplistic, Turing-type pattern in hues of blue. Holding my gaze, it grows in complexity. I remember thinking “holy shit, it’s just like patterns I’ve seen on the dmt-nexus.” The longer I stare, the more complex it grows - “it’s the definition of a fractal” I tell Micah. It gets too wild, too overwhelming, and I have to break my stare again. The jaguar never returned.

I feel lightheaded and with blotchy, slightly trippy, hues of color on things that normally wouldn’t exist, but most other things in my environment seem normal. At this point I am extremely hungry, and I feel disoriented because of the hunger as well as the drugs. I chat with Micah for a while. He asks to play music, but I am too messed up. I continue to watch the orb, glowing in all its glory, but I am too afraid to try to provoke an interaction and go beyond the fractals, to go through the lacey gateway of blue hues with my spirit guide. I write in the note “feeling like I don’t need to do this anymore.” This is a common feeling at the beginning of a trip for me, and I’ve tripped many times, thinking “hmm yeah time to hang up the phone for good.” I think the feeling comes from not having a specific intention prior to partaking, or not following through with it. Not taking yourself into the trip in a skillful, deliberate way.

My original intention in acquiring these materials is to find a new therapist and take a threshold or “psycholytic” dose consistently prior to therapy , a subject I’ve been reading about extensively. The evening is a test for the effects, and perhaps a little recreation and soul-searching. But not shamanic journeying. And with Micah, a visitor, mostly sober, I convince myself that I should be a good host and enjoy the trip in the present moment, with him included (really I was nervous about exploring the orb more, but something I may have overcome if I was alone). After about 30 minutes, I feel as though I can play music (despite extreme hunger and a calorie deficit, and plateaued pharmahuasca effects).

11:00 pm - We proceed down to the basement, and singing feels more natural than normal. I can only successfully play songs I’ve been playing most of my life. New songs are difficult and a few times I completely blank on which chords to play. Cognitive faculties have been waning all day due to the calorie deficit. As I play, I lose focus and run through multiple different exchanges involving a difficult relationship at work, eventually coming to a feeling of humility and at-peace-ness, tranquility, but also many perspective shifts where I was now perceiving as though I had been covertly slighted. My takeaway is mild shame for my own actions that contributed to the difficulty of the relationship, and a feeling of forgiveness of my coworker’s trangressions.

Playing the songs I’ve known and played for most of my life (And It Stoned Me, The Weight), I feel like a rockstar. The music pours out. I just start playing the song and the whole process becomes autonomous, like a chain reaction with the first beat as the catalyst, and it’s marvelously satisfying. I sing from deep within my core, something I’ve been trying to develop for a long time now. It’s extremely gratifying. I think about recording a few times but I left my phone upstairs. I wonder if Remy is tripping.

We tire and head back upstairs, back to the living room. The blue ceiling lamp orb fractals are more subtle now, but if I watch it, it grows in intensity and is pleasant to watch meander into different configurations. I continue to talk to Micah, who sits cross-legged on the couch across from me with a blanket draped over him, forming a hood over his head. He has a beard, and looks very archetypal to me.

We continue talking, relaxing. The Bossa Nova playing quietly in the background stops playing through the Bluetooth speaker, but neither of us pay it attention. After 10 minutes, during a lull in our conversation, Micah says “The Bossa Nova stopped.” I have my iphone in my hand and look at it, and the music instantly begins playing again, without touching the screen. The creepy, cosmic giggle, hair-raising-on- the-back- of-your-neck synchronicity feeling courses through my body and triggers a mild paranoid delusion. I wonder if my web browsing of psychedelics is being monitored by the DEA, which has made me into a person of interest, and perhaps my communications are also being monitored. The DEA knows what I’m doing tonight, taking these drugs. And they are fucking with me through the music. Maybe because I don’t sell drugs, they’re cool with it, but are just keeping tabs. Perhaps Micah, who I met only 3 years ago, is an undercover agent in a secret CIA program, where users of psychedelics are monitored, as an experiment, to understand how they will affect people and society at large. It’s less that I’m convinced this is the case, but I am strongly confronted with the possibility its true...or that it can’t be disproved at the moment. It’s as if my ability to gauge the probability of my paranoia being true or not is beyond comprehension. I manage to convince myself it’s at least as likely that the timing of Micah’s comment and the music turning back on is a coincidence, and there’s no DEA conspiracy. I joke to Micah that I’m on the edge of a paranoid delusion. We discuss the Patriot Act, enacted by GW Bush, which allowed the covert mass surveillance and storage of public communications data, ultimately exposed by whistle blower Edward Snowden. I tell Micah I’m going to just pretend it’s a coincidence to avoid going off the edge. He says don’t worry, it’s just a Bossa Nova ghost.

We continue to talk about the trajectory of our lives (both 31, single), whether we will find another long-term partner during the course of our lives. He says he’s trending toward solitude. I say I’m likely in the same position, and I have my doubts about finding the love of my life at this point. I am ready to accept it as a reality if need be. We hatch a plan to be old men in the woods someday (a lifelong plan of mine to boot). I eventually head to bed around 2 am, but can’t sleep until the wee hours of the morning. Overall effects peaked for roughly an hour, plateaued and lasted roughly 4 hours total, consistent with the standard pharmahuasca duration. Remy fell asleep and later reported he didn’t experience anything more after going upstairs.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115023
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Dec 27, 2020	Views: 1,778
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DMT (18), Syrian Rue (45), Pharmahuasca (822), Fasting (178) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Music Discussion (22), Combinations (3), General (1)