DOSE:	37 - 38 ml	oral	Alcohol - Hard
	700 mg	oral	Benzydamine

BODY WEIGHT:

93 kg

I have some decent experience in the realm of psychonautics having tried some 40 different psychoactive substances.

Unlike other classes of drugs, there are very few entries when it comes to deliriants. After reading about it, Datura got almost immediately ruled out. I feel like it would be impossible to safely try this substance without being under the constant supervision of a well-equipped medical professional. So after having tried DPH, the only one left is benzydamine.

After my previous experience with a deliriant, in which I only summarily browsed the wiki and trip reports, this time I really sat down and read everything I could get my hands on about this substance. There were very few reports about it, so soon I was reading about it from forums and random reddit posts, some even from my own country.

Since I wasn’t sure I could properly evaporate it, I decided to mix it with vodka, filter the salts through coffee paper and then drink the mixture. As such, I prepared about 40 ml of passion fruit vodka with 40% alcohol content. Initially, I wanted to go for 1 gram of benzy, but after reading some crazy trip reports, I lowered it to 750 mg, or 1 and a half sachets of Tantum Rosa. I mixed them well for about 15 minutes, before filtering the salts away. Finally, I added some extra water to make the drinking more bearable. Unfortunately, I did miss a few drops when passing it through the coffee paper filters. Also, hearing about the horrid taste, I tried to drink it down in one gulp. But after adding the water, there was more than a mouthful, so I accidentally spilled some on me. In the end, I would approximate the final dose to be around 700mg which was good enough for me.

The trip was planned on an uneventful Saturday morning. I just had breakfast and apart from house chores I had nothing else important to do. My notes throughout the trip went as follows:

10:9 intake in a mixture with 40ml of vodka.
10:10 terrible lingering taste of vodka and salt.
10:14 tongue is number out. Taste doesn't go away. It spread down the throat.
10:19 brushed my teeth and tongue and gargled some water. It's a bit better now.
10:28 the mouth numbness just doesn't go away.
10:35 feeling a bit relaxed. Probably from the alcohol.
10:42 starting to feel more energetic.
10:46 feeling a bit light-headed
10:52 things starting to go in and out of focus.
10:57 mental focus starts being a bit hazy.
10:58 first auditory hallucination. The laptop fan sounded so weird.

11:01 sporadic random thoughts. At least the mouth is back to normal.
11:04 sounds seem different. Like small crackles.
11:16 coherent enough to play a card game. Not very good at it though.
11:18 eyes getting tired from squinting
11:26 time goes a bit slower.
11:28 pupils look pretty small.
11:31 some loss of fine motor control.
11:36 difficulty urinating. Also being concerned about footsteps down the hallway.
11:42 my OCD seems stronger.
11:46 damn my counting is off.
11:50 heart rate is a bit up, not that much.
11:55 eating brazilian nuts was actually more bearable.

12:02 thoughtfulness. Similar to psychedelics, but with more anxiety and confusion and less pretty patterns.
12:05 seems like the auditory hallucinations have subsided for now.
12:09 unmotivated to do stuff, yet agitated.
12:34 my actions are so disorganized. Also, some stomach discomfort.
12:35 bonk .. I dropped my keys. Where are they? Wait… I didn't drop them. Did I just hit the wooden side of my bed with my belt...?
12:43 going for a walk. Hope this would alleviate some negative feelings.
12:47 streets seem a bit wavy, affecting my balance slightly.

13:00 some spatial disorientation. GPS fixed quick.
13:20 memory scramble. Trying to remember what I need to buy.
13:37 fine dexterity is still bad.
13:48 body is warmer. Don't really feel the cold.
14:16 stomach discomfort is probably hunger.
14:21 forgot to mention some muscle spasm. Not as bad as DPH though.
14:29 still hard to read.
14:45 agitated and distracted.
15:05 I ate and I still feel internal discomfort.
15:43 my tick has been annoying the hell out of me.
16:09 getting some weird sensations in my head.
16:54 most of the primary effects are subsiding. Only residual stimulation.
16:58 feeling of thirst is pretty prevalent.

17:15 barely felt the orgasm.
18:34 it's getting boring at this point.
19:02 I hope I will be able to fall asleep.
21:05 finally stabilizing. (that was a lie)
00:23 pretty hard to sleep. The light tracers from the phone in the dark are crazy though. So long and flashy.
01:08 the tracers go all the way to 180°. Ugh... This is going to be a long night.
01:10 lights and shadows vibrating, especially if I turn my head. How did I not notice this...?
01:22 I ate a bit and now the shadow movements are gone. Very odd?
01:25 my stomach just made the weirdest sound. So cartoonish.
03:31 yawning. Good sign. Let's give sleeping another shot.
05:39 well... That didn't work.
09:45 feeling better after eating and washing myself. As light came the tracers and vibrations seemed to have subsided completely. Feeling fatigued.

Indeed, as daylight came up the tracer effects disappeared and didn’t come back. I am now writing this, some 80 hours after intake. As expected, despite all my hopes, I wasn’t able to sleep at all for the first night. Luckily, I did manage to fall asleep the second night, so I wasn’t completely wrecked the first day at work, but I was still tired and even now I am paying back the sleep debt.

Also, there were many spelling mistakes that I corrected after sitting down to write this report. The effects were pretty much what I anticipated, and still unpleasant. Some people say they prefer this over DPH, due to its more stimulating qualities. I personally can’t see why anyone would do either for recreational purposes.

Apart from the tracer effects in the dark, which admittedly were very interesting to watch, everything about it is unpleasant. The horrible taste, the urinary retention, the muscle spasms, the increased heart rate. And these are just the physical effects. The auditory hallucinations although interesting, are also pretty unnerving at times. I can’t even write the extended stimulation as a positive, as you just sit there awake and not feeling like doing anything. And unlike meth, I felt a lot more fatigued the following day.

And finally, there’s anxiety, the fear and confusion. I just sat there for hours on end, feeling this constant dread and experiencing all sorts of negative thoughts. And the fear is different. Even during the most difficult psychedelic experiences, any fear that I experience usually has a reason in the set and setting. And although quiet, my conscious mind is still there and can still reason things and nudge me in the right direction. But there’s nothing like that here. The fear is more instinctual and primordial. I basically, constantly, felt like something is wrong, but I don’t know what, why or how to fix it.

While I haven’t reached a full state of delirium, knowing that increasing the dose would increase all the negative side-effects I’ve mentioned above, I can’t imagine how that would be tolerable in any way. It will be interesting to see if any of the benzy effects will manifest themselves on subsequent psychedelic experiences.

If it will become more thoroughly studied and if there will be safer and easier way to consume it, I might consider returning to it. Until then, I am not ready to lose my mind to this kind of delirium. There are a couple of other substances from different classes, who also have some deliriant-like effects. I will see if things are different with them.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 115282
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Mar 24, 2021	Views: 1,514
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Benzydamine (730) : Various (28), Difficult Experiences (5), Preparation / Recipes (30), First Times (2)