Erowid Canvas Tote/Shopping Bag
This reusable "Ecobag" is made of 100% recycled mid-weight
(10 oz) cotton canvas, printed with the Erowid logo.
Donate now and receive yours!
My Trip Cost Me a Close Friend
Mushrooms - P. cubensis (Penis Envy)
by Jake
Citation:   Jake. "My Trip Cost Me a Close Friend: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (Penis Envy) (exp115411)". Erowid.org. Oct 4, 2022. erowid.org/exp/115411

 
DOSE:
5 g oral Mushrooms - P. cubensis
BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb
My trip cost me a close friend

This is a recent story in my life I want to share with you all. This is something that I hope will inspire someone to either use drugs extremely responsibly, stop altogether, or help somebody cope with something they’re going through that’s similar.

This all took back in January this year. I had been really great friends with this girl for quite some time now. I was absolutely head over heels for her (and when I say that, I mean that I thought if my future wife didn’t look like that, I didn’t want her). Unfortunately for me, I was completely friendzoned, but we were still close regardless. Let me set the stage: I considered myself a Christian although I didn’t take it too seriously, and she was into spirituality (chakras/meditation/manifestation stuff). I was always really intrigued whenever she would talk about her beliefs, practices and such. Why? Because even though I was Christian and still am, I was very open-minded and had no shortage of curiosity.

Now, at this time in January, I was involved in a fair amount of drug use (mostly cannabis, alcohol, and psilocybin). Well, one night I took a more than solid dose of extremely potent Penis Envy cubensis, and I went on a trip that little did I know at the time would change everything. Now, I’ve had those crazy beautiful “matrix breakthrough” trips where I see the “afterlife” and such, but this was completely different, a full 180. As I was coming up, I was laying in bed listening to music, and having philosophical life thoughts one would typically have while tripping sack. I then thought of my friend, her personal beliefs, and her spirituality practices. I should also point out that I had never heard of such a thing until she came into my life. I remember thinking about how interesting of a spin that belief puts on our reality, and just how it’s a genuine different outlook on life and such. Then, the trip changed almost instantaneously.

The next thing I know is EVERYTHING goes dark like the flip of a switch, and I mean everything - tone, atmosphere, visuals, mood, even the body high felt extremely uneasy. I naturally think to myself “wtf is going on”...but I then start to fucking audibly hear growling, snarling, and whispering coming from every corner of my room, and to say it all felt and sounded demonic in nature would be an understatement. I now am perked up, have my headphones around my neck, and am listening very intently fueled with adrenaline from fear. Then shit hits the fan. My friend’s face appears in clear high def detail on the wall directly in front of me. Then these evil, rotten, just beyond vile and disgusting entities (probably 6 or 7 of them) appeared on the same wall and surrounded her. They then proceeded to brutally torture her and rip her soul to shreds, right in front of my eyes. They did all of this while taunting me, telepathically informing me that they have her soul, and I won’t save her. I sat there obviously horrified, completely paralyzed with fear for a few minutes until I jolted up and started screaming at them to leave her alone and that I wouldn’t let them take her to hell and such. That thankfully didn’t last too much longer, but the rest of the trip was still a complete nightmare.

A couple of days of reflection after that shitshow of an episode, I of course took that experience as “a sign from god” to save my friend soul since she wasn’t a Christian.
I of course took that experience as “a sign from god” to save my friend soul since she wasn’t a Christian.
I was determined to save her, I mean after all, how could I let those vile creatures take my friend, who I’m utterly smitten over, to hell when she dies? I am cringing typing this, but yes ladies and gentlemen, you guessed it right: I called her up that night and told her everything I saw and everything that happened. I legitimately thought at the time that I was being completely rational, thought I was doing the Lord’s work, and that it was all part of his plan....yeah, I know. I was fully deceived, and blindly fell for it. Not even a week goes by - she deletes me on everything, and I never hear from her again. I don’t know the exact reason, but I mean c’mon, it’s obvious as to why. I am BEYOND heartbroken still, I think about it all the time. I cry about it, but I only really have myself to blame.

I don’t really know exactly why I typed this. It’s just been on my chest for so long now, and it still hurts to this day. I miss her every single day, I had never met a woman as fun and hilarious as she was. She always made me laugh and smile.

Exp Year: 2021ExpID: 115411
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Oct 4, 2022Views: 933
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), Mushrooms (39) : Alone (16), Post Trip Problems (8), Entities / Beings (37), General (1)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults