DOSE:	1 hit	smoked	DMT
	2 hits	smoked	DMT
	6 - 7 hits	smoked	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

A Horrifying First Experience

DMT in (pure crystal form) is highly difficult to come by where we are from. Finally, we got lucky. We managed to secure a gram of the stuff.

I was more experienced in psychedelics than my friend, who was going to be tripping with me. We had both done shrooms, LSD, MDMA mostly. Smoked lots of weed too etc. But I had done so somewhat more. I was really excited and looking forward to trip. My friend seemed somewhat anxious.

It was fall. It was dark outside. A friday night after work in Nordic Europe. My friend came to pick me up from my apartment. At his studio apartment we would smoke tonight. We decided to start at low doses and do rotations, one guy tripping and one guy tripsitting, then do a switch etc.

So we started. It turned out, our scale was too shitty or broken, and unable to measure DMT crystals accurately. In the hindsight, we should have prepared by buying a more accurate scale. We decided, fuck it, and decided to eyeball it (a big mistake, please don't do this).

We eyeballed a very low amount of DMT to a glass freebase pipe. I went first, sat on the couch and took a puff. I really didn't know what to expect, so we waited for a while. I got a slight color enhancement, but didn't really feel anything other than that. We reloaded our pipe and my friend had a go. He also didn't notice anything too interesting, other than color enhancement.

We decided to up the ante and loaded about 2x more than earlier. We also decided that it would be better to smoke while sitting on my friend's bed and when the trip starts, just lie down. I went first. Took a couple of hits and laid down on the bed. I closed my eyes and saw LSD-ish visuals, but they seemed more 3D or 4D in movement, if that makes any sense. I still somehow felt underwhelmed by the experience. My friend smoked after me and also reported seeing similar shapes.

Then I said fuck it, I wanted to have a true breakthrough experience. I told my friend to load the pipe with about 3x more DMT than earlier (6x+ more than the initial dose) Keep in mind there was still some DMT in the pipe from earlier. I told my friend to shut all the lights and leave the room when I hand him the pipe.

I took maybe 6-7 pretty big hits from the pipe. During the last 2 hits, my reality started to seriously shatter. Everything started warping and colors started becoming so bright, it was like someone was pointing 1000 different color flashlights straight at my face. With my last grasp of reality, I saw my friend taking the pipe from my hands. At this time, my perception of time was getting really fucked up. I saw my friend sitting right next to me, then I saw an image of him walking to the bathroom (leaving the room like I told him), then I saw him at the bathroom door looking at me. Suddenly, he teleported back next to me and switched between these three positions for some time. This all happened in a matter of seconds. Then he shut down the lights and I was blasted into space and lost all contact with reality. I saw amazing colors and impossible patterns. It's like I didn't exist. This lasted for an X amount of time. Then I saw familiar places. Real life places I had recently been to. For example, my friend's balcony, where we smoked cigarettes earlier. Then I saw myself outside of my friend's apartment. I kept "teleporting" between these and other locations very rapidly. Then, I was overwhelmed by extreme fear and anxiety.

Around this time, my friend came back to the room and asked if I was ok. I started muttering some gibberish. I don't know what triggered it, but after this, my fear and anxiety escalated to the point that I thought I had somehow killed my friend because I was so fucked up on a drug. And all those locations I saw were actual places I had been to while on a drug. I saw images of my friend lying dead on the floor bleeding. I had hallucinatory conversations with police officers and my parents after "I had murdered" my friend. I saw myself in jail. I started crying and repeating the phrases: (roughly translated to english) "did I really do this" "I can't believe I did it" while being in total shock. My friend realised I was having an extremely bad trip and started comforting me. He held my hand and told me it was going to be over soon and that everything would be fine, over and over again. I held on to my friend's leg extremely firmly with my hands all this time, for some reason. This apparently lasted for minutes until I finally started returning to reality. I was still muttering about killing my friend, but then I saw him sitting next to me. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I constantly asked him if he was real and if anything I just saw was real. I was still seeing some pretty strong visuals. It was as if the world was made of minecraft blocks for some reason. It took me around 15 minutes to come fully back to my senses. The actual trip felt like a lifetime, when actually the roughest part was over in 10 minutes.

In retrospect, smoking this stuff while not knowing the actual dosage is a very bad idea.

I have never thought about any particular psychedelic experience as much as this. For months, I saw very unsettling flashbacks and dreams about this trip. When writing this report, it has been a fairly long time. Even though it was a bad trip, it taught me a lot about myself. It made me really think about my substance use. It also made me a more peaceful person. I would never want to live that nightmare in real life.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 116014
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 26, 2022	Views: 721
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DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2)