DOSE:	300 ug	oral	1P-LSD	(blotter / tab)
		oral	Coffee

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I had been planning to watch the new matrix on lsd ever since I heard it was going to be released in around October. I hadn't tripped in a few months, so I figured ending the year with an intense trip watching a continuation of what I believe to be one of the best film series of all time would be a good idea.

I was fairly experienced with 1p lsd and had already had some of the best experiences of my life on it, so I knew what I was in for. Going into the trip, I got up at around 2 PM as I usually do, had some coffee cake and a bit of coffee, put 3 tabs on my tongue, and called an uber as I had no other means of transportation. I was already starting to feel the effects before my ride arrived. An indescribable, giddy feeling, as though my inner energy and thought was being projected onto the outside world and I was unable to fully analyze the transaction.

Eventually the ride came, and I was feeling a bit nervous. This manifested itself in visual distortions of the world around me. The world wasn't morphing per se, but I was definitely seeing things as my mind perceived them rather than as they actually were, which was distorted, confusing, and a bit scary. This itself probably made me feel even worse. But I managed to comport myself and realize that, despite the fact that I was tripping, I was still rational for the most part and was able to make it to the movie. I got in the car and put on my mask to prevent any awkwardness. The ride felt like it was going on forever and I genuinely began to feel scared and even more confused as to what the hell I was doing. I looked out the window and saw droplets of rain, and listening to my own music this calmed me down a bit. I was listening to Ἐπίνοια by Occult Research, as I've been getting into electronic music with an experimental vibe. I thought about the simplicity of life, how water was simply composed of hydrogen and oxygen, and how all matter on earth on earth was naturally harmonious if it could be interpreted without the bane of human bias and prior experience. I felt I could take great comfort in that fact.

We eventually got there, and I walked into the theater, waiting in line rather uncomfortably. It once again felt like it was taking forever, and I could hardly interpret what was going on around me. I don't remember exactly what happened when I went to buy a ticket, but I was told my backpack had to be examined as that was policy. This caused me to go into a bit of a panic as I had salvia in my backpack and I forgot its legal status. But anyways, they ended up just checking one compartment of my bag as I imagine they didn't want any trouble. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I felt as though I had made some kind of mystical pilgrimage to this sacred place and was finally about to see the truth revealed to me. I tried to find the theatre the movie was in, but for some reason wasn't able to notice the door. This resulted in about 5 minutes of searching hallways in confusion. I really don't know why it took me so long, but I eventually noticed it right in front of me.

I went in, and no one was in there, so I sat down comfortably in the middle and waited for the wild ride to start. I sat through about 20 minutes of previews and was entranced by what I was seeing. Everything seemed like it was speaking to me on a personal level (though admittedly I should have known better) and it seemed so enthralling. I decided after seeing the previews for Death on the Nile, House of Gucci (I know, it's stupid), Spiderman, and Morbius that I absolutely had to see them as I was missing out on something very important.

When the movie started it occurred to me that I had to summon the mental energy to keep track of the plot and not interpret things according to how my mind perceived them. The movie felt like it was narrating my own personal life in a sense and speaking fundamental truths about reality. Upon rewatching sober, I found that not to be the case at all , and the plot actually seemed unfulfilling, as they never really freed anyone's mind from the matrix or resolved the dystopian scenario. But while I was watching it, everyone seemed to be speaking in rhymes and I felt everything on a transcendent level. In the scene where Neo took the redpill I felt a profound sense of destiny, as I had been what may be called "blackpilled" for many years, knowing romantic rejection and failure to an extent most people would never dream of. I was reminded of so many events that had recently happened in my life and they all seemed to fit into place, I saw the good and bad and felt that it all had meaning. Those same memories still occurred to me days later, but without the extended significance. Again, looking back at my mental state at the time I can see how absurd most of my thoughts were. This is actually a common thing that happens to me on LSD, but oh well.

After it ended, I felt as though I myself was now part of the matrix and had a mission like Neo to fix the ills of the world. I left the movie theatre and started walking out of the plaza down a sidewalk, looking at people pass by and go about their lives in the dark. I felt as though I was in a real life RPG, playing a character with no skills or public recognition but with a calling. Eventually I came to this place with sliding doors and an escalator on the first floor, so I couldn't really see what was inside. I decided to go in and went up, first on an elevator which may have opened to another area (I can't remember if I re-exited on the first floor or not) and then to this open area that reminded me of the backrooms, as they're called. I was going to try to explore the place but I was asked what I was doing. I said I was "just looking around", to which they said they were closing. I accepted it and reluctantly headed toward the escalator. Taking a last look at the place for just a second, I was asked to "please leave". This offended me in some degree, but I naturally left, continuing to walk the plaza. I circled around the back and the dim flickering lights and sprinkling rain made me feel like I was in a video game.

I played some music on my phone and enjoyed how deeply I was able to perceive the music and the emotions it inspired in me. I kept on walking and decided to sit down with my back against the building, listening to Sun People Sleepwalker by Pospulenn. I felt able to collect all my thoughts and recall who I was and my place in the world, which, though in fact an inglorious and honestly painful one was one I felt I had the wisdom and serenity to reflect calmly on nonetheless. I kept on walking, and it occurred to me that as my phone was about to die I should probably Uber back home. I called an Uber and walked around to a bookstore, and decided to wait in there until my ride got there. I tried not to make eye contact with anyone as they might be able to tell I was tripping, but I'm certain a few people noticed due to the way my eyes were fixating on lights and CEV like phenomena in my visual field. I felt very eager to leave as I was surrounded by mostly upper class and sophisticated people, but I survived. My ride ended up getting there reasonably soon.

The ride once again felt like forever, and it slowly dawned on me that this trip was going south. I was having to confront the nature of my mind and all of my internal issues. At home, I dealt with obnoxious CEVs that seemed to jump out at me and which seemed childish and showed me how ignorant my mind was to have produced them. I tried listening to music but music sounded horrible. I around 3/4ths of A.I. Artificial Intelligence but I found it a chore to watch, and it did not speak to me on any leveI.

I couldn't fall asleep until 8am the next day, but when I woke up I felt like the demonic nature of my mind had been to some extent purged and I was stronger, capable of living my life.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 116080
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Feb 13, 2022	Views: 590
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