DOSE: T+ 0:00	150 mg	insufflated	Tapentadol	(ground / crushed)
T+ 4:00	150 mg	insufflated	Tapentadol	(ground / crushed)
T+ 12:00	150 mg	insufflated	Tapentadol	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:00	150 mg	oral	Pharms - Bupropion	(daily)
T+ 0:00	25 mg	oral	Pharms - Topiramate	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

I was for two months in a mental institution for the treatment of depression and anxiety, so I was kinda forced to quit opioids (mainly Tramadol, Codeine and Tapentadol) in cold turkey. First weeks were really difficult. The treatment was fine (I was prescribed Wellbutrin XL and Topiramate) but the psychological cravings never stopped.

I finally completed treatment and stayed clean for almost two weeks but had a rough day and couldn't resist to an old box of Tapentadol ER that I never got rid of. It's 11 am and the decision is made. I had taken Wellbutrin XL that same morning but I don't think it affected the experience too much (as it does with Tramadol or Codeine).

t+0:00 : I decided to grind and snort 3x50mg (150mg) because being ER pills and in the past it worked fine this way. Many reports say that this substance hurts a lot to snort but I don't think it's that much. When I snort I feel a certain buzz (probably placebo), my eyes watery and a quite bitter drip.

t+0:05 : I had a large glass of ice cold Diet Coke. I'm already feeling some tingling and lightness in my legs. I open my bedroom window and even the wind on my face feels too good. That's a good sign.

t+0:10: The tingling is more present in the legs and my back. I feel a bit sleepy and decided to rest in my bed, listen to some music and just enjoy the experience. Ok, now I am feeling that euphoria so characteristic of opioids. I listen to Love Will Never Do by Janet Jackson and Oh My God!! I feel that rush of euphoria and can appreciate the instruments and production of the song in full detail.

t+0:15 : The anxiolytic effect is powerful, I feel that if my house were on fire right now I wouldn't care too much. Euphoria more and more present and I feel a pleasant tickling in my head.

t+0:25 : There is no more drip, I feel a very strong motivation, which not even Wellbutrin can achieve, but I am still lying down with this latent euphoria, without worries or anxiety. Now I really don't feel any regret on relapsing to opioids. How I missed that feeling of euphoria, strong tranquility and full peace that they cause.

t+0:35 : The music starts to slow down but I can feel details that sober I couldn't. I also notice that I am having a hard time writing.

t+0:50 : Damn!! Writing is still difficult for me, cognitive euphoria is fully present but I notice some confusion (multitasking becomes difficult).

t+1:00: In addition to the euphoria, I start to think about how I will get more opioids. I would like to continue feeling this euphoria every day. I begin to feel my nose a bit stuffy and it takes me a while to string together my words.

t+1:15 : I feel a special tingling and itching in my stomach. But how good it feels to scratch. I love this side effect of opiates and opioids. I look in the mirror and notice my extremely small pupils.

t+1:30 : My vision is fucking fuzzy and blurry but I feel this sense of peace and tranquility so strong that I don't give a fuck.

t+1:45 : The euphoria slowly leaves its peak and my mouth feels very dry.

t+2:00 : All I can think about is how am I going to get more of this stuff. It's feel too good.

t+2:30 My family invites me to lunch, even though I usually eat alone due to my anxiety. That anxiolytic and sociable effect was perhaps THE reason why I abused opioids for so long. Benzos give me a similar effect but without any of the euphoria. When my family talks I notice an annoying beep in my ears the same side effect that Tramadol produced in high doses (I think it's called hyperacusis?).

t+4:00 : I can't help but notice how small my pupils are wow! I take three Tapentadol tablets and crush them but this time I take them with a little water.

t+4:05 : I feel a bit nauseous but also that everything is fine. That strong sense of peace comes back.

t+4:10 : this time I don't notice as much euphoria, maybe it was too early to redose or these ER pills orally take a while to take effect.

t+4:15 : I think it was just a matter of time since I'm already feeling the euphoria rise and the classic tingling in my limbs. I decide to make myself a black coffee and start listening to (What's The Story) Morning Glory? by Oasis. Nice record I don't listen to it in a long time. One of my favorite activities with opioids is lying on the couch/bed and listening to some music. It feels so good.

t+4:25 : This time I notice how my blood runs through my veins and body and I think sleep becomes very difficult to fight.

t+4:40 : Sleep and deep physical and psychological relaxation follow. I started to nod off but while listening to Champagne Supernova (I haven't heard it in sooo many years) I get chills and goosebumps. Again I am having a hard time writing this and I notice certain heart palpitations.

t+5:00 : I start to feel that rich itching sensation in my shoulders, legs and stomach. I also notice a higher tolerance for pain.

t+5:30 : I can't help but notice how good it feels to pet my cat. It's as if tapentadol not only makes me more sociable but also more affectionate (I am a very cold person).

t+5:50 : I eat some cake but I'm not even hungry so I just taste it and save it for later. I notice a strange movement in my limbs, a kind of myoclonus or muscle jerk, the same thing happens to me with tramadol. Still, it's nothing to worry about. Another notorious problem is the urinary retention caused by tapentadol, at least in people with zero or little tolerance. The cognitive euphoria is still present in large quantities.

t+6:05 : Damn! I still don't have an appetite and when I eat I feel slightly nauseous, in addition to still hearing those annoying high pitch sounds on my ears when my family talks to me, but this doesn't happen to me when I listen to music at full volume or watch a movie with headphones. Weird thing!

I just watch some TV while nodding off. Finally I think I fully sleep for some hours. Anyway still feeling great when I wake up.

t+12:00 : Ok and here we go with the last three tablets. This time I snort them again. I think the most annoying thing about this method is the amount of powder. This time it burns slightly, my eyes are red but there is no bitter drip.

t+12:10 : I am already feeling the effects of tapentadol, not only the euphoria, but I am getting a rush of energy that I haven't felt in a long time (damn depression!) and start cleaning my room.

t+12:25 : While cleaning my room, I feel the itching again and my memory feels pretty fuzzy.

t+12:30 : I turn on the TV, relax and start nodding off.

t+12:55 : I keep nodding and again I feel a myoclonus tremor. I'm sure this has to do with the fact that tapentadol is in part a SNRI.

t+13:10 : As I nod, I feel nostalgic for my period of addiction (obviously only the good memories come). I wish I could felt this forever.

t+13:40 : The euphoria slowly wears off and the itching reaches its peak. I keep nodding off and slowly I'm falling asleep. Day its over.

As you can see, two months of sobriety was ended by one day of bingeing on tapentadol and I honestly have no regrets. It was a great day, like I hadn't had it in a long time. The next day I did not suffer from any side symptoms, withdrawal or cravings.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116304
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 32
Published: Jun 18, 2022	Views: 1,449
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