DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 1:00	300 mg	oral	MDMA	(capsule)
T+ 1:00	50 mg	oral	Pharms - Quetiapine
T+ 1:00	400 mg	oral	Pharms - Lamotrigine
T+ 0:00		oral	Tryptophan - 5-HTP	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

I traveled to see a partner and their partner (AKA my metamour), and decided to bring all of my remaining molly in a covert manner. I crushed up three points (measured with a precision scale to 300 mg) and it fit perfectly into a capsule that I hid in a bottle of 5-HTP capsules, of which I take one of every night as an anti-depressant aid. I showed my hosts the capsule. It looked extremely similar in color to the 5-HTP. We planned to take one point each at some point during my visit, and then of course some 5-HTP 24 hours later to bounce back from any potential crash. All of this precaution was probably unnecessary, but it helped me sleep at night.

For some reason, I didn’t think to separate the molly capsule from the 5-HTP after arrival, since I could tell the difference between them anyway. Or rather, I separated them twice to show my hosts at different times that the MDMA capsule fit in well, and then I put it right back in with the 5-HTP. I’m still astounded that I just thought I would always remember to look closely at the pills I took on a nightly basis. This was a big mistake, because sometimes we keep the lights low in the house at night, and sometimes I’m tired or stressed by then. On this particular night, the three of us had had some very low-THC bud (we prefer getting a little buzzed, not stoned) and ended up having a necessary difficult conversation that went well and ended but was nonetheless an emotional one.

I’m very petite, so chems hit me harder than most people. I usually just take one point at a time, although when I first started taking molly several years ago, I was taking two at a time and that was too intense, sometimes resulting in me convulsing on the floor. So when I accidentally took the molly capsule , let me tell you I was not fucking ready. By the way, I took it with all of my other meds, which are listed at the top of this experience. I can assure you that I’m very sensitive to them and I take them at night so I sleep through the side effects. Some of them are there to treat bipolar disorder, anxiety, and insomnia.

It hit me like a train. I had NO idea what was happening. I said I felt dizzy and was going to lay down on a bed. Within fifteen seconds I said something was very wrong. I knew there was something familiar about what I was feeling, something intense, something emotional, something weird in my brain, but there was no explanation, so for a full minute I was wondering if I was about to die a mysterious death.

Here was this very intense, sudden feeling becoming more and more intense by the second, and I knew I’d felt it before but was not supposed to be feeling it now, and that feeling was somewhat horrifying just on the basis of being so unknown. Realizing that something serious was happening in my actual brain so suddenly, I recounted what I’d done that night, connected the dots, and officially started freaking out. I had never taken more than 200 mg before, and my preference was 100 mg at this time. Many of you may know that the effects of molly scale exponentially with the dose, so three points doesn’t simply feel three times as powerful as one point.

My partner checked the 5-HTP bottle and confirmed that the molly was missing from it. There had been 28 capsules, which means that there was a 3.6% chance of this happening. My hosts were very understanding and helped me calm down. They were quick to accept that we were about to have a very late night of trip sitting me with the most molly I’d ever taken, and that there was no way to get it out of my system sooner. They knew that there would be no point in being upset about it, so they rolled with it — no pun intended.

My teeth were chattering and I was shaking. I was given a banana, for some reason, and while I ate it, we all noticed that there was blood on it. I was biting my tongue so hard to avoid grinding my teeth, that I was bleeding. This is where we had a great idea: I had brand new, unopened silicone anal toys with me, and decided to use one as a pacifier. Yes, really. An hour after the MDMA magnesium (800 mg) was taken but it could do nothing for me at that point; the options were: biting off my tongue, cracking my teeth, or chomping down on a sex toy all night.

The three of us spent the rest of the night in my metamour’s bedroom, because it had the most room. I was starting to feel the usual things I do when rolling, starting with a heightened awareness of my connection to the people I love and trust. I called my closest friend who wasn’t in the room but we all knew, and very briefly told her what had transpired because I thought it was so funny. When rolling, I love music even more than I do sober; so after hanging up, I picked some chill tunes I love and knew would be agreeable to my friends, and we lit some candles for ambience.

The fine details are fuzzy, which happens to me when I’ve had anywhere more than 100 mg of molly. I know that I felt very nice about being there with them, and I asked if we could all cuddle. Eventually I ended up kissing and getting very intimate with my metamour for the first time. My partner was pretty into watching it happen. Things escalated and we were all having a great time with my heightened sense of touch.

We all checked in about my consent around this before any intimacy started, as I was obviously FUBAR, and I assured them that these things I wanted to do now I had already wanted to do before and was okay with having a chemical ease me into doing without anxiety. So we all had a good time around that. It was especially worth being cautious about because I have had molly experiences I regretted by being around people I wouldn’t have been interested in while sober.

About five hours later, everyone but me was asleep while I rested with my eyes closed but still very awake. By morning, I was still not tired, and I more or less still felt like I was rolling 20 hours after ingestion — or at least, I was still feeling a weak form of rolling, finally coming down fully at the 24-hour mark, which was a relief by then, and my 40th hour awake. I recognize that plain molly wouldn’t do this, but I had tested this molly and experienced it before at normal doses. I had taken it by accident with multiple other psychotropic drugs, after all, so that probably had something to do with it. Usually the quetiapine alone would knock me on my ass, and lamotrigine would make my head feel kind of funny, but I only felt the roll.

We were all thankful that this didn’t occur on a different day of the week of my stay — any of them would have been probably been absolutely terrible. Equally thankful were we that I had only taken the molly and not also taken a 5-HTP capsule thinking I was just taking some extra 5-HTP. That could’ve landed me in the hospital.

Overall, this was a good experience that helped me intimately bond with someone I had been too nervous with before, but it was so intense and scary to get there the way I did. 9/10, would not recommend.

Aftermath: yes, there was a massive serotonin crash, but it was two full days — including an acid trip — later. I went on that trip because I was feeling good and not considering how much strain my brain had probably been through. The trip did not go well for me, but it wasn’t a bad trip or even a very difficult one really, I just got very sad about unrelated things in the slightly detached version of my consciousness, and I would’ve been sad about them anyway. The day after the trip, I was absolutely distraught for most of the day, but then I was totally hypomanic for three days, so take that as you will.

I’m writing this about 10 days after the incident and feeling just about what’s normal for me at this point.

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116319
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: May 6, 2022	Views: 1,370
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