DOSE: T+ 0:00	7 - 8 g	oral	Kratom	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:00	2 hits	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)
T+ 0:00	2 carts.	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)
T+ 12:00	7 - 8 g	oral	Kratom	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:00	4 hits	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

To preface this, I would consider myself fairly experienced with hallucinogens and drugs in general. With many experiences with lsd, lsa, mushrooms, dmt, and many others under my belt. And I've always been intrigued by salvia, despite the many reports I've read describing the experience salvia provides as a living nightmare. It's never been something I really sought out for this reason, but if the occasion were ever to arise I knew I'd give it a shot.

Well, a few days ago it fell right into my lap when I got to talking to a new coworker about psychedelics. At some point in the conversation, he asked me if I'd ever tried salvia. I told him I had not, but that I've always been curious. After telling me a couple stories of wild trips he'd had, he told me he still has some he's been holding on to for years, and never planned to do it again. I offered to take it off his hands, and a few days later he brought it to work for me.

The salvia I recieved is a relic of the past. Salvia was banned in my state in 2009. This was in a (very cool) box from when salvia was still sold in headshops. The box is red, with a slogan reading "Not all leaf is the same!", draped above an image of pyramids with psychedelic patterns on them.

The box did not specify what the potency of the extract is, but instead reads "calibrated into 4 distinct levels of potency", red being second to last and labeled "visionary quest". The box folds open and has directions for use, some suggestions, and warnings.

When I got home that night, I eyeballed a sizeable dose of kratom, which is a nightly ritual. Once the kratom hit and I decompressed from a long night at work, I decided to dip my toes in the water. I didn't want to go too deep just yet. When I opened the box, and inspected the salvia, it was not what I expected. It wasn't flakes, but very finely ground, almost a powder. So I loaded my bong with dried peppermint (tastes great by the way) so the salvia wouldn't fall through. Using cannabis instead did cross my mind, however I wanted to experience salvia on its own.

I didn't really know how to dose the salvia. Because it was so fine I thought I would need far less than if it were flakes, so I sprinkled a very small amount atop the peppermint. Maybe the size of the round head of a drawing pin. I got comfortable on my couch and torched the bowl, holding it in for roughly 15 seconds.

The feeling that washed over me was strange. Calm, but a bit eerie in a way I can't quite explain. Maybe a bit like someone was watching me. There was a smooth buzz throughout my body that was quite pleasant, and reminded me a bit of nitrous oxide.

I sat with the feeling for about 5 minutes, enjoying it for the most part. It did have an odd quality that I couldn't quite shake, but couldn't fully articulate either. I decided to repeat this, and eyeballed the roughly same dose. Torched, inhaled, held, exhaled. The sensation didn't get too much more intense. Just more of the same. Because I had nitrous oxide on the mind, I decided to fill a balloon with two cartridges.

Inhaled, exhaled, closed my eyes. This was quite nice. Felt far more intense than just two cartridges would on their own, and provided more CEVs than even a large dose of nitrous oxide on its own. In the center of my vision there was what appeared to be a blue and purple strand of twisting DNA, surrounded by pulsing black and blue TV static. I was treated to a classic epiphany moment that nitrous oxide is well known for, but again, on far less nitrous oxide than is usually required to reach that. Strangely, it was over as soon as I reached it. No smooth comedown like there usually is. Just over.

After that, I felt satisfied for the time being. I didn't want to go too deep just yet. There were some lingering calming effects. Ate, watched some TV, and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning from an incredibly bizzare semi-lucid dream, and felt pretty good. I took the dream as some sort of sign that today should be the day I give salvia a fair shot. I took my morning dose of kratom, roughly 8gs again, waited til I was feeling the effects and got comfortable on my bed. I decided I would take the time to slowly build up my dose, adding more and more to get a bit familiar with the lower-dose effects before diving in.

So, I began with a same dose as the night before. Again with dried peppermint. I put my headphones in and played some music. Torched, inhaled, held, exhaled. The effects were the same as the night before, a pleasant buzz. I sat with the feeling for a couple minutes before adding more, roughly the same amount. Torched, inhaled, held, exhaled.

After this the effects got a bit weirder. The buzz got more intense, sort of a pins and needles feeling. My headspace was now a bit strange, nothing too crazy, but my thoughts felt distant. An eerie feeling washed over me again, a bit like I was being watched. I noticed a pressure in my cheek, almost like someone was lightly pressing a dull pointed object into it. This confused me, and I touched my face to figure out what it was. The music euphoria was very nice at this point, and it felt great to move my arms around.

I sat with this for a few minutes, enjoying the music. I noticed a slight shift in my visual perception. Everything appeared more distant, slightly disconnected from me. I loaded up another dose, this time slightly smaller. This hit didn't seem to add anything to the trip besides a bit of confusion, so I decided it was time to for it. I loaded up a larger dose, about the size of a pea. Torched, inhaled, held, exhaled.

As soon as I set my bong down I was hit with an intense feeling of deja vu, and thought to myself "Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten?" The second that thought crossed my mind I was hit with the fear. Unparalleled, crushing, primal fear. It was LOUD. Like a freeway inside of my head. My room took on a sinister feeling and look. Everything in it seemed as if it was out to hurt me.

I closed my eyes and laid down on my stomach, my head falling into my hands like a scared child. Closing my eyes freaked me out more, I didn't want anything to do with whatever the hell was going on behind my eyelids, though I cannot remember what it was exactly. When I opened my eyes I was met with the floral pattern on my bedsheets, which became everything. It was me, I was it, it was all there was. This made me PROFOUNDLY sad. Like I was being taken away. I had to go but I didn't want to. I uttered "this is horrible."

This was a disgusting flavor of psychedelic hell. It felt so cruel. I kept telling myself it would be over soon, that it was just a drug. It felt a bit like I was being folded up like a lawn chair. I was met with horrible thoughts, that my coworker who gave this to me was playing some sort of sick joke on me. That I was going to be like this forever. I'd done it, I'd finally broken my brain. This floral-print hell was never going to end. How could I be so dumb? How could I possibly think I could handle this?

It felt like being possessed. Like some sort of sadistic cosmic being was playing a horrible prank on me for being so naive. I had no choice but to sit with it. My fight or flight response had been triggered, and once the worst of it was over (probably 7-10 minutes of this?) I was able to get up off my bed. I quickly put on my shoes and went outside. I was not thinking clearly. Once I got on my porch I just stared out, unable to process what had happened. I was still confused and afraid.

I waited a second, and let more of the effects die down before walking. I walked aimlessly until the negative headspace fully wore off, which was probably roughly 10 minutes. Once I got back home, I was struck again with deep sadness. A feeling that I needed to cry, but I couldn't. I made some tea and tried to calm down. Once the sadness wore off, the afterglow was lovely. I surprisingly felt very calm and relaxed for the next 2-3 hours, despite my trip to hell.

As the night went on, the experience felt more and more like a distant dream, despite how real it felt at the time. I told myself I'd never do it again. But salvia has a strange draw. It's almost like it's calling to me, eager to toy with me some more. But I won't be touching it again any time soon. And if I do, I will be chewing the leaves.

In hindsight, it was an incredibly fascinating experience. A terrifying, painful, sad experience, but fascinating nonetheless. I cannot imagine what a breakthrough on this stuff would be like. I would not recommend it to anybody. I'd read the trip reports, but none of them can really do it justice. There's no way to know what this hell is until you experience it for yourself. I did the best I could, but the experience is near impossible to articulate. Salvia is no joke.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117026
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Feb 20, 2023	Views: 653
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Salvia divinorum (44), Kratom (203), Nitrous Oxide (40) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)