DOSE:

3 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

53 kg

So this was my second time ever experiencing a mushroom journey. The first time I did it, I was given a very low dosage, it was only enough to heighten my senses and enhance my surroundings, things were only slightly “wobbly”, I had two epiphanies during that experience, but I never really felt as if I experienced a true psychedelic trip. 



This time around I had a friend from school coming into town, he moved to a farm and happened to have magic mushrooms growing all over his paddock. He offered to give me some so I gladly took it. 

In hindsight I really shouldn’t have taken the mushrooms from him, I have been struggling with mental and personal issues for a few months prior and I definitely was not in a good mindset to be taking psychedelics. 

The plan was to sit with my brother and his best friend, have a two hour trip and smoke a bit of bud afterwards with a movie before sleep. 

I had thought that I would only be tripping for about 2 hours just like the previous time, except this time I thought I would be able to handle a stronger dose because I definitely knew what to expect.



Just a note to anyone who has never done mushrooms reading this, do not eyeball it, just do it properly. Your accuracy will be VERY off. 

It was 12:30am, my brother and I were waiting for his friend, (who we’ll call ‘J’ for the purpose of the report). I decided it would be a good idea to separate and prepare our dosages for the night. It was gonna be my bro and J’s first time ever having mushrooms and I didn’t want to give them a heavy dose, as they had never experienced psychedelics before. I probably gave them about 4 mushrooms each, some big, some small. I had about 5-6 mushrooms for myself, most of them pretty large in size.



Once J had arrived to our house, we convened in my brother’s room and began stating our intentions. My bro and J had the same intention, they wanted to discover some purpose or meaning to their lives, the usual first timer intention. 

My intention was to really experience the mushrooms on a level I hadn’t before, and to have a spiritual experience that would completely knock me off my feet.

 With our intentions set, we took our mushrooms at 1am and waited for the trip to begin.



Over about 40 minutes, I began feeling the usual wobbly effects coming in, I began feeling giggly and the world was becoming more and more fun to be in. Colours were beautiful, I felt lighter than air. I was ready to lay down and close my eyes, waiting for the mushrooms to show me everything they needed to. Everything was going well, I had my music in my earphones playing. It was the song Madre Tierra by Nick Barbachano.

I began to then see fractals and geometric patterns for the first time. It was a gentle easing into it, but I began to feel overwhelmed, it was my first time experiencing it, and when I would open my eyes, the world felt more unstable, and when I tried grounding myself out of it, I couldn’t get a 2 second break back to reality. I felt stuck, and the more stuck I felt, the more claustrophobic I felt. It didn’t help that my brother and J were just having the best time, they were enjoying every minute and they were on this wavelength that I couldn’t get onto. I felt as if I was suffering in silence. 

It got to the point where I was so terrified what was to come that I began crying and my brother and J were trying to calm me down. I just kept crying and saying “I want to go home, I want to go home, I’m scared, I hate this, please make it stop.” 



They weren’t very good at calming me down, they would try for 5 seconds before cracking random jokes to each other when something reminded them of a reference from a show or movie they had seen. 

I knew I needed someone to ground me fast because the trip became more and more intense, I lost spacial awareness in my brother’s room and things were becoming more and more unstable. It was then I ripped my earphones out and rang up a friend of mine. He asked me how many mushrooms I had, and I couldn’t give him a straight answer, he then asked me what I was seeing. According to him, I was barely making any sense, all I was saying was “The fractals, they’re everywhere, they’re going to consume me.” 

My friend had then told me that I was most likely going to have an ego death, due to me describing my experience as something similar to one he had in the past. 

I wasn’t receiving any comfort from anyone, and then I realised I needed to stop and really think about why my trip was bad, what was I dealing with to make this experience terrifying. I began speaking out in the open, laying every issue on my mind out on the table and making peace with everything that I had been dealing with for the past few months. This is where my brother and J began hyping me up, they were cheering me on as I dealt with everything like an absolute boss.


Once I had finished confronting everything that I needed to confront, the fear, the claustrophobia, the absolute terror I was feeling completely let go. I laid back, closed my eyes and entered into what would be the peak of my trip and the most euphoric point in my entire life. 

It’s hard to describe the visual that I saw. The colours were those which I had never seen before, bursts of gold, white, silver, heavenly colours that filled my soul with joy, I felt as if I was being embraced in a warm, Godly hug. I began to see visuals of biblically accurate angels, the seraphim and thrones angels to be specific. They towered over me immensely. I felt as if my brain was thumping hard like a drum every time these angels would move. The angels stood in front of me, fractals and geometric patterns swirled behind and around them. J had noted later that during this moment, he noticed uncontrollable tears flowing from my down my cheeks as I laid there, smiling with my eyes closed. 

Once the angels had finished making their presence known to me, I opened my eyes and I was laughing. I can’t explain the feeling of pure euphoria, it was bliss, I felt as if I was in heaven. 

It was then my brother began playing that song “Golden Hour” by JVKE. My God, the way the fractals moved to this song, my heart is fluttering as I type, remembering this moment. 

Since my trip, that song is holding a very special place in my heart. 



All my life, my brother and I have never been very close. That night, we made a bond that will never be broken. We mended everything that was separating us without even having to speak a single word. 

The three of us held hands and it was just a beautiful moment. 

We hadn’t even noticed that we had been tripping for 5 hours straight, it was already 6am and we realised we were beginning to come down from the trip. 

Once I was down, the one insight I took away with me was that I don’t have to worry about trivial things in my life, because everything is essentially trivial. Nothing matters unless you make it matter. It probably sounds completely dumb to whoever is reading this, but for me it’s an experience and lesson that I will never forget.

 A bad trip is only a bad trip if you take away nothing from it. It’s up to you to steer the direction of where your trip goes. In saying that, I’d advise against doing psychedelics on your own if you’re going through some fucked up shit, make sure to have a trip sitter with you, or better yet, wait till you have a better grip on yourself before going through an experience such as this. It will bring up EVERYTHING. 



Also, just maybe don’t have a moderate to high dose at 1am, I was tripping all night and that’s not very fun if you have things to do the next day. 

Thanks for reading if you did.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117248
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Oct 24, 2024	Views: 16
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Mushrooms (39) : Families (41), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)