DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)
T+ 1:00	0.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

A Gentle Introduction to Psychedelics

We were at the summer cottage of my family. We gather there with my friends every summer for a weekend to relax in the middle of the nature and catch up with everyone.

I always knew that my friends have tried LSD and psilocybin but I never wanted to try it. The experience sounded too intense and I was scared of the possibility of a bad trip. This time something was different. I had started a relationship with a woman who had traumas and treated them with psilocybin. I was trip sitting her twice, and her experiences were good and easy.

My friend L opened an empty ice cream container that was full of minigrip bags. He had been growing and cross breeding his own magic mushrooms. We were sitting on the roof and talking with my friend J. He said that he's going to take some mushrooms today. While L went to prepare the tea, I suddenly had a thought that this is the perfect moment for me to try it as well. I was in a familiar and safe place with no distractions, surrounded by friends who are experienced and even know who has created the substances! No setting could be better. I was in full mental and physical health, well rested and by all means ready for my first psychedelic experience.

I asked L to be my shaman, and to give me as much as he thinks is appropriate for a first timer. He gave me 0.5g of dried Tidal Wave (which in his experience translates to 1.0g of other cubensis strains, being roughly double the psilocybin content). He poured some hot water on it, prepared a drink for everyone else and we took our mugs out to the yard. It was a sunny day, clear weather, quiet and peaceful. I felt a tingling in my stomach: an entirely new experience was coming my way.

We sat down on the grass in the shore of a lake and started sipping the tea. I asked the mushroom to be kind and gentle to me. To show me the magical world just a little bit. My friends who took more (1.0g) started seeing visual hallucinations at about 15 minutes. I didn't see anything. Instead, I felt like sitting down. Like a force is pressing me down gently. "Sit down" was the message. I didn't resist that. Instead, I closed my eyes and started to follow the urge to rotate my torso in what my sober friends call "mushroom yoga". I let the body move by itself and open up all stiffnesses and blocked energy through the movement. However, I started to feel like I want to see something else, too.

At this point, roughly 30 minutes in, I didn't have much changes in my vision. Things looked different, but I can't say how. Perhaps the contrast or light sensitivity had changed slightly. I preferred to be eyes closed. That way I feel like there was a lot more going on. The difference between eyes open and closed was significant. I didn't have much patterns going on when being eyes closed but there was definitely something. The light was red and yellow instead of the usual black, and I saw some patterns and went into some mild thought cycles. I was at full control at all times.

Then my friends L and J started moving to the pier. I followed them, but started zooming on some plants on the way. I watched them really close and tried to see if I had some visuals. Nothing yet, but the plants and dry leaves took my curiosity for a while before joining my friends. I started hugging J as he went through some emotional stuff. I validated his thoughts of taking some roles of a protector, and told that he can be whatever he wants. L said that "he likes our energy". L had strong visual hallucinations, and said that the 40 meter way through the pier felt like three universes. He also had some hallucinations related to the sounds of the waves. He could hear them many times over and over again.

At some point I went to have a snack and drink. I told my shaman L that I wanted a little bit more. He approved, and gave me another 0.5g of the same stuff. I sipped it a bit faster this time, and entered my second peak. This happened around 1 hour from the first dose. Another friend V told me that it'll not change the experience intensity, but rather the duration. I don't know if this is true or not, but I was about to enter another totally different phase of the trip. While the first one was mild, gentle, relaxing and bodily the next one was more intuitive and mental.

I decided to let my body move on its own. I followed my feet and they started moving towards the forest. I didn't feel like talking or being with anyone, so I started going towards the forest without telling anyone what I'm about to do. I didn't even know myself - my feet just started walking. The colors started to saturate more and more. It was like turning the saturation slider in photoshop half way up. It was easy to see everything in the forest. I saw some mushrooms that were really blue and of phallic shape. I wonder what they were. I followed the hill, and my mental constructs started to dissolve. I saw layers of my perception and experience. My desires, addictions, compulsions, roles, shadows. All of it disassembled like the Ikea instruction schematics for furniture. It was totally quiet in my head and my body. I felt very, very feminine (as a biological and otherwise male person). Almost as if I was a woman. I haven't had any ideas or fantasies regarding that, but I totally accepted that. I thought I'm maybe my mother when she was young. A young woman who's just casually walking in the forest without any plan. Curious, playful, lightweight, agile, innocent.

The mood changed somehow. Maybe because of the lighting or because I was alone. The air seemed like there was dust in the air. But not in the dangerous way, maybe dramatic or theatrical sense. I saw a plot of cut down forest but it looked more epic than sad. I wondered what people think if they see me there. Walking without shoes, wandering around and looking like a lunatic. But I didn't care too much. I followed my feet onwards, and found some chanterelles by the road. It was easy to see the bright yellow on the light green moss. I collected them and carried them in my hands that I pressed towards my chest. I walked to a hill and laid down for a while. I closed my eyes and had a short rest. Then my feet took me onwards, where I found even more chanterelles. The social and mental constructions started to dissolve even more. I had some thoughts of a woman that I'm attracted to, and who I feel really close with. I wanted to be with her and get to know her better. Possibly take some mushrooms with her.

Then started probably the diminuendo of the effects, because I became a bit moody. I realized that I had started a relationship with my girlfriend for the wrong reasons - out of fear - and that we should just be friends. I got a little bit anxious about this. I went back to the cottage. My friends were already a bit worried about me, but they were relieved as they saw me. I had carried the chanterelles in my shirt, and they were happy to get them. Someone was playing fast trance music so I had to go to a quiet place because I wanted to be with my thoughts and process the anxious feelings of my romantic conflict. I talked it though with J, who told me that I'm nearing the end of my trip and that's why I'm more vulnerable and emotional (he has lots of experience in psychedelics). I started to feel a bit better, and joined the others. We went to sauna and swimming. We also had some food that tasted amazing. I shared my experiences with others, and we had an amazing rest of the day and night with Aurora Borealis, good food and company.

All in all I call it a successful first experience. The idea to take the mushrooms in two doses was good in my opinion, and I want to explore that idea further. It made the trip smooth and I was at control at all times.

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118395
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: Oct 29, 2024	Views: 15
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Relationships (44), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)