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The Question
Nitrous Oxide
Citation:   spacious. "The Question: An Experience with Nitrous Oxide (exp12969)". Erowid.org. Feb 10, 2005. erowid.org/exp/12969

 
DOSE:
12 carts. inhaled Nitrous Oxide (gas)
Nitrous aka Bulbs or Bulbing brought me closer to understanding myself. I havn't done anything for years, the last time was when I was under a light dose of Nitrous Oxide for the removal of wisdom teeth, which is not very close to 'the real thing'.

Nitrous worked best after a coming down from ecstacy or similar indulgences as the body and mind are still altered, trying to clean the body from these toxins. With more experience with nitrous I was able to improve my experiences and learn. With first bulbing experiences had audio and visual distortions where music would seem to slow down and sound as though I was hearing them inside a rubber bubble, It kind of reminds me of a squash court where there is sometimes a strange echo when the ball bounces off the walls, this echo is applied to music and the music sounds like it is expanding with a phaser like effect.

I become conscious of my breathing and closing my eyes allows me to have better visual hallucinations. With open eyes it is a little disorienting. Depending on dosage, bulbing became a journey for me, always starting with auditory distortion and then visual distortion where I would have some crazy fractal... this then gives way to a brighter light where I might be flying over a field or a mountain and then the next and most interesting step is 'The Question'.

'The Question' is part of the hallucination, similar to LSD, but in a more euphoric state of mind I start asking questions and thinking, sometimes it was mathematical. In this stage the aim was to go further and to get the answers to the questions before the rush ended. I always felt that each time I bulbed I would come one step closer to getting the answer to my question... or go one step further in my journey. The problem is that rebreathing/hyperventilating on the one balloon means that you are not getting oxygen and will suffocate so as I was hallucinating I was always asking myself, is it time to stop. Sometimes a friend would tell me to breath when they thought that I had been hyperventilating on the balloon too long.

With subsequent bulbing the journey and The Questions took on a really interesting approach, as I was hallucinating I was always trying to go further on my journey which I felt was to understand the meaning of life. Then the journey started taking a very moral approach meaning that I was asking question about what I was doing (ie bulbing/drugs) and is it correct. In the end inside the hallucinatary state I was asking myself, do I want to stay in this world and or do I want to stop and live my normal life. If I stay I want to stay in this world, the drug abuse will lead to my death in the real world. This is extremely interesting as I am not or was not suicidal at all and was more a weekend recreational drug user, but I felt that through my journeys with bulbs I was actually slowly making a decision that drugs were not the right choice for me. I felt that I didn't have the ultimate answer to 'The Question' as I did not come to the end of my journey, however in restrospect my decision to stop the journey (stop using drugs) was actually an answer to 'The Question' I posed in my hullucinatory state.

I also felt that bulbing also had a connection with other drug experiences such as LSD or pot. With some intense LSD trips I had the experience of being in space and meeting one of the beings who was responsible for the control of the universe (For the visuals, just imagine the film Lawnmower man where they are in the 3D world where the Lawnmower man has to get the correct password but keeps on getting 'access denied'). This type of experience amounts to looking back at yourself and asking the question, 'Why am I here'.

After a bulbing session, I was tired and had the feeling of being drained for about a day. When bulbing I had maximum 12 bulbs (normally one at a time, sometimes two bulbs in an extra large balloon... but only 1 balloon at a time). I bulbed maximum once a week and after about 1 year 'gave up' after coming to my realisation.

As a closing note, be safe, do it with friends... read as much literature as you can and don't forget to breath.

Exp Year: 1996ExpID: 12969
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 10, 2005Views: 15,641
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Nitrous Oxide (40) : Unknown Context (20), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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