DOSE:

6 in

oral

Cacti - columnar

(fresh)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

This is long, and split between the physical experience of it, and the mental. I tried to divide it up so you can read the parts that interest you. Names have been changed to protect the innocent (actually, just because I felt like it).

First some background... I've been interested in mescaline for quite some time. I've tried other phenethylamines (2C-T-7, 2C-T-2, MDMA, MDA) as well as the common Tryptamines (LSD and Mushrooms). From past experiences, I know that I hold a strong favor towards phenethylamines compared to tryptamines. Having had mescaline described as better than 2ct7 and 2ct2 by many people who I respect, I have been really excited about trying it. So I ordered some San Pedro from a company who will remain anonymous. They sent it in good order, and everything was set.

The preparation... I'd read many accounts of this in experience reports, and still had no clear idea of the best way. This is what I did... First I cut off the spines with scissors. Snip snip, and you lose almost none of the green flesh. Then I cut it in half vertically, and cored it. I had an apple corer, so I used that to take out the white fibrous part that contains no mescaline (or almost none). I then pealed the skin off with my fingers and a knife, which was a painstaking process due to the sliminess of the stuff. I cut a 6' long 3' - 4' diameter chunk up. I put all of it in a piece of tupperware, threw it in the cooler, and headed off with friends to Florida for a week of camping.

In Florida... This was the first place I had ever tripped, while on vacation a few years back. I love the ocean, and tripping on the beach has been one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had. There was a group of us there, but only 2 of us would be tripping.

Morning of the trip... Its beautiful day, and I felt pretty good despite drinking a bit excessively the previous night. My friend Niech and I eat the cactus upon waking up. We figure its the easiest way to fast, since we haven't eaten anything since dinner the previous evening. I had read multiple times that fasting is recommended, much like I have experienced with 2ct2 and 2ct7. So, eating the slimy, bitter cactus was one of the worst things I've ever had to do. It was disgusting beyond belief, and I almost gave up many times. I resorted to biting off chunks and swallowing them without chewing. After this, all my friends and I went to breakfast. I was wearing my beach sarong, which I find comfortable when in beach town. The restraunt was populated by some very close minded people however. After about an hour, we had gotten our food, and I couldn't eat too much. Tasted great, but my stomach was pretty nasty at this point. So I get up to go outside, and some of the already drunk locals start yelling at me. 'What you wearing a skirt for boy?' 'Where are you from?' etc... I was about to tell them that its a homosexual thing, just to fuck with them, but decided it wasn't worth the chance of getting my ass kicked. I left the restaurant and hung out outside, reflecting on the humor of the situation and feeling sorry for those people.

Walking Home... Niech and I were already feeling the effects of the cactus. It could only be described as odd or weird at this point. Very similar to the come up on 2ct2 and 2ct7. The come up lasted far longer on mescaline however. Fortunately it's a very pleasant come up, aside from the stomach discomfort. So anyway, Niech, our friend Erol, and I decide to walk back the 2 miles or so up the beach instead of driving. As we walk back, the mescaline sets in a bit more. It's still subtle at this point, but certainly noticable. Walking in the shallow water was nice. I began picking up shells, amazed at their beauty. I saw a lizard, and lots of birds along the walk. Their pristineness was incredible. It was as if they were delivered to me directly from the makers' hand. I still remember this so vividly. The ocean itself took on a persona of sorts. More of a presence really. I could feel its vastness as I walked in it, utterly overwhelmed at its size, age, power, and aspects I can't even describe.

Back with everyone... At this point I had made it back to the campsite, chilled for a bit, and went back to the beach. We set up a tent cover as an umbrella of sorts on the beach, since some of us had burns from the past few days. We turned on some music and were chilling. At this point, Niech and I decided to take a swim. We were pretty high at this point, as high as we would get. It wasn't overly intense. It was remarkable in its subtlety, yet overwhelming in its power and beauty. Incredibly controllable, yet feeling somehow greater than me. I'm sure I was on the lower spectrum of doses, but I wouldn't have wanted it to be any more. I find that I can often get more out of low dose psychedelic experiences than high dose ones. So we walk into the water. It's unseasonably warm for the time of the year fortunately. I get out far enough and dive in. My whole body feels so alive and electric. The feeling of the water surrounding me was indescribable. Being enveloped in this vast, powerful force. I play around for a little bit, and see a rather large wave coming in. I swim with it, catch it, and body surf most of the way to shore. It was the single pinnacle of my trip. I left my body while sailing through the water. I could feel and see every particle or water touching my body, caressing it, and gently, powerfully, forcing me along. I felt a deep connection with all reality at that point, a unconscious force between the ocean and I and everything else in the world. I jumped out of the water and all I could was scream for joy. Niech had done the same thing and looked at me with a huge smile on his face. That was an unforgettable moment.

Discussions of spirituality... I'm in a psychology class dealing with spiritual development right now, so matters of spirituality have been rather common for me to be contemplating lately. After relaxing on the beach for awhile, listening to music, I start getting into a deeper train of thought. At this point I feel an amazing sense of openness and empathy. Much like the feeling I get with MDMA, but much more real and comfortable. MDMA is just too overboard and 'fake' for me to truly be honest with myself and express myself as I really feel. I start contemplating my relationships with people, and general interhuman interactions. I was missing my girlfriend quite a bit at this point, and my mind began to wander to issues of sexuality. It's very hard to explain what was going through my mind at this point. I guess I came to realize that I have been second guessing myself and uncomfortable with the way I feel and the way I think lately. The openness I was experiencing from the mescaline wasn't restricted to openness with others, but openness with myself as well.

In some way, realizing these truths about my psyche allowed me to make peace with them. I was suddenly able to accept parts of me that I had been struggling with for a long time. The sense of guilt that I often carry with me inexplicably was brought out for me to see. I realized the foolishness of these feelings, but not in way that made me dismiss them or lose them. I realized all these things about myself in way that allowed me to accept these feelings. To accept all the emotions I experience, even those that don't make sense at the time or are negative. It's all part of humanity and part of me. I wish I could better articulate this, but it's quite difficult to discuss these things within the limits of our archaic language.

Does Time Exist... So my friend Kat, who was with us, is convinced time does not exist. She has gotten in many arguments with friends about it, often ending in a shouting match and them considering her crazy. I had never discussed it with her before. She and another friend are arguing about this after I come out of my introspective trance. Already being in a deep state of mind, and quite eager to continue exploring my consciousness and thoughts, I join the conversation. Listening to them argue, she does indeed seem to have little point. The openness I'm feeling allows me to ignore that and really 'feel' the conversation. I get it. It hits me and I get it. Everything she is trying to say, I understand. My first thought is of what a terrible job she is doing trying to articulate what she has to say, and what a shame it is because she really does have something to say. I don't get very involved in the conversation but listen. It eventually ends with the other friend storming off angrily calling her 'schizophrenic', and I'm left with Kat. I talk to her for awhile about her feelings on time.

As I suspected, it really is not an argument against the existence of time, but an argument that perception is reality. Theories relating to the many worlds theory in physics. That each moment is a snapshot of reality, a transition from the last and into the next. Infinite parallel universes, and we are in the one that we perceive ourselves to be in. We talked for a relatively short while, but I came to understand her views much better, and she was relieved that somebody could understand her and realize that she indeed was not at all crazy. Many of the things she said I didn't agree with, but they were all her opinions and thoughts, and entirely valid. The fact that they were true for her was enough.

A Walk Down the Beach... The effects of the cactus began to subside at this point. I decided to take one last walk to be with myself. As I began to walk, my friend Ramone ran to catch up with me. This was a friend that I hang out with often, but had never connected with on more than a superficial level. The empathy I was experiencing, coupled with the beauty of the beach was more than enough to allow for a much more interesting and deep conversation. I believe that I was exuding this feeling of calm and openness, as everyone I interacted with that day seemed more comfortable with me than ever. And one of the greatest aspects of the experience was that I was abnormally comfortable around everyone else, something I never experience when I am on a different wavelength than others. I couldn't imagine trying to interact with so many people while on mushrooms. So Ramone and I are walking, and we discuss the ocean and life and everything and anything. It was quite wonderful, and so amazingly perfect.

It wasn't so much what was said, but how it was said, and how it was conveyed. I could feel into him more than I explain if that makes sense. It was the same with many people, the ability to feel their thoughts and words and selves. This interconnectedness was beyond words. It was amazingly subtle, something I really had to tune into, but when I did, I couldn't believe the experience. It felt so natural as well, and is something I believe I took back into my life from the trip. Although certainly not to that extent, I believe I have recently been better at connecting with others and being receptive to unconscious feeling and forces. To me, it feels like a step in evolution, perhaps toward someday being able to communicate on an entirely different level. Perhaps it's not in the evolution of mankind, but in the evolution of self. Something to strive for and hold dear, if nothing else.

Coming Down... Its getting to be night time and the drug is finally wearing off. I have an emotional conversation with my girlfriend, Nada, where she is quite upset which puts me in a very strange, darker mood. All I can really do is listen to music, and think. Most of the day was spent listening to the music of nature, so it was nice to finally hear some guitars and singing. I threw on a Neil Young CD, picked up my harmonica, and just chilled out and tried to enjoy the evening. I have a constant feeling that I would like to be with my girlfriend, but I don't let it overcome me. The sadness and yearning I feel for her is balanced by a solidity and emotional freedom that had rarely been present in the past. The comedown was quite long, and somewhat tedious after awhile, but valuable all the same. It gave me more time to consider all the thoughts that had run through my head throughout the day. It allowed me yet another perspective on things. I wouldn't have wanted it to be any different.

I finally went to sleep, to wake up the next day somehow better for the experience. Changed in a way as subtle and profound as the drug itself. I suppose someday I will once again experience the altered reality brought on by mescaline, but it won't be anytime soon. And I know it won't be like it was the first time. Would I ever want to repeat something so personal and beautiful though? Certainly not, but there is so much out there to explore. Life seems more full of mysteries now than ever before. The quest for answers can be incredibly rewarding. I believe Joni Mitchell said it best, 'I don't know who I am, but life is for learning.' Indeed, I am learning who I am.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 13415
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 10, 2003	Views: 31,274
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Cacti - columnar (10) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)