DOSE:

1 hit

smoked

Salvia divinorum

i probably should not use this again for quite some time. i decided on impulse to smoke another dose of salvia, and here's what happened.

i sucked it all down in one monstrous hit until there were no glowing bits left, and held it for quite some time. i noticed my heart pounding and then the now familiar echo-effect on my body. the room was nearly dark, but i began to sense lines extending in impossible directions, and sliding away from me in a feedback orientation like when a video camera is pointed at the tv screen that is viewing it. the was a big black object in the center of my vision and i struggled to see it, and it turned out to be my stereo/speakers/tv/etc.. THEN i exhaled. realizing that i hadn't breathed in what seemed like could have been minutes shocked me back as close to reality as i could get, but then i was quickly sucked back in to wherever i was, except much deeper.

from this point forward, it felt like everything i was experiencing had happened countless times before, and i felt very disappointed by this. 'oh no, just another one of THESE trips..' it felt like old hat, like there was nothing new to experience. and i was in a prolonged deja-vu state. this is only my third experiment with salvia, and i knew this, yet for some reason i also felt like i'd been in this place/state/experience-set countless times before, to the point where i was bored. i'd immediatly tell myself 'i knew that'd happen, i knew i'd shake my head like that, i knew i'd be thinking this again, i knew it.. damn' but underneath that the actual experience was kind of complicated.

there was a male figure to my left and a female figure to my right. i had a brenden perry song in my head while i was inhaling, and it came back to me now. it was about a young person asking an older person questions about the world. like 'where does time flow?' and 'where does the fire go?' but the line that kept rolling around in my head was 'speak to me now' and i was addressing the female figure to my right with this line, over and over and over again.

i was physically in something i'll call a matrix. planes at right angles, each plane only 4-6 inches apart. and either this matrix was moving, or i was moving through the matrix, but i could feel every place on my body where these planes would intersect. it was very strange, a sort of vertigo feeling. and i was moving away from the male and female figures, but i was very concerned about leaving the female figure, as i expected her to reveal something important to me. and then i realized i was coming back (to my couch in my living room) and was very disappointed so i turned the lights on, surprised that there were still some lsd-like visuals remaining. so i spent the next half-hour on the couch trying to understand what i could of what had happened to me.

now here's the tricky part: i started to remember more and more experiences from earlier in this trip. it may have been about previous trips that never happened, or the second trip (which i can't remember anymore). something involving the matrix of planes again and my ability to navigate through it. there was a smiling man, which could have been the same male figure i already described, but maybe not. i also remember seeing 'schoolgirls' lightly dancing/prancing around this matrix with ease, and my contempt for their comfort and ease with which they did it. this matrix also was more vivid. the planes were green/white edge-on and i don't think they were visible as planes, but their planer-ness was implied. again, i was moving through it uncontrollably and was annoyed about it. it all had a 'gameshow' or contest feel to it, like my skills were put to the test. i was encouraged to do well, but mostly for the amusement of others it felt, not for my own betterment. i'll assume this all happened before i exhaled.

in any case, i don't think i'm willing to do this very often. i learned that tonight. it's distressing, and left me this time with a sense of being severely sub-standard. there is a sense of wonder and awe and all that, but it's the kind of awe one might have for a thing that could crush him.

i will experiment further, but certainly not for a while. i'm terribly thankful that the peak of the effects only last 1-3 minutes (for me). any longer and i think i'd go mad. but at the same time, that short duration probably contributes to the feeling of disappointment. maybe i should get some fresh plant material and use the squib method. but maybe 10 full minutes of salvia would be pure hell.

Exp Year:	ExpID: 2150
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 26, 2000	Views: 8,727
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)