DOSE:

insufflated

Cocaine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

So here I sit, typing at light speed, head spinning and exploding with so many ideas and theories to describe and explain to anyone who will listen. Unfortunately, though, I am beginning my descent from heaven. I keep trying to devise some plan to find just a few more lines, because I know that by the time I am finished writing this, within the next 20 minutes, I will be tortured by the hellish grip of pain, sadness, and depression.

I have slept only 4 hours in the last 3 days. I have spent nearly $250 in those 3 days. Yet every single time I sniff another line or two, the incredible euphoria of coke makes me forget that I am slowly but surely destroying my life. But now I am determined to come down and stay down, at least for a while.

The very first time I ever heard about cocaine, I took an evening to study up on the great white hype. I read about its extremely psychologically addictive effects. I read about how it is easily overindulged and is very expensive. But I wanted to try it to find out for myself how 'great' the feeling really was. I told myself I would only try it once. Ha ha. After the very first line I did, I was hooked. I ended up doing nearly 2 grams between 3 people that night. Never in my life had I felt a feeling like this before. I felt as if I could do ANYTHING. I felt invincible. For hours the 3 of us talked about improving our lives, becoming instantly rich, how the world was created, our many amazing party nights, and how we would never fall into the abyss of cocaine addiction; all the while we were snorting line after line after line.

When I got home that night, after such an awesome experience, I paid the price for every line I took. The only thing I could think of was how I could get more, who could sell me some, where I could get money to pay for it, or someone I knew who would hook me up with just a few lines. I laid in agony for nearly 4 hours before I finally fell into a depressed and troubled sleep.

Since that night 3 months ago, I have spent about $200 on more coke (which isn't that much, but that isn't the point). I didn't listen to my body when it forcefully begged me to never again have to experience the ultimate low to get the ultimate high. I describe cocaine to people who ask as '3 hours of hell for 30 minutes of heaven.' I have tried many drugs, and the pleasure that cocaine creates far surpasses anything I have ever felt. Yet the pain that follows the pleasure is enough to ruin lives. I finally realize this, and am only now admitting to the hellish nature of this profoundly powerful drug.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 22272
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 28, 2006	Views: 12,403
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Cocaine (13) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Depression (15), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)