DOSE: T+ 0:00	4.0 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(extract)
T+ 0:20	4.0 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. tampanensis	(plant material)
T+ 2:00	1 seed	insufflated	Anadenanthera colubrina	(ground / crushed)
T+ 3:00	1 seed	insufflated	Anadenanthera colubrina	(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

4 gr. Of P. Harmala seeds were extracted according to the Ott Method, then the resulting liquid was drank.

About 20 minutes after, I ate the mushrooms (4 gr.).

Mind set was not very great, I felt a kind of tension within me, but don’t know from where it comes (I had a not very good week actually, lot of events bringing in tension, maybe it was that).

As the mushrooms started to push, I knew that this journey would not be like the others. I remember thinking ' Here you gonna go through something very hard on this evening, You’ll do it, You’ll get through, but it’s gonna be quiet HARD '. As the rushes were getting more intense, the tension would not leave. I was totally unable to enjoy those rushes I love so much in ordinary times. I spent the first two hours trying to find what was the source of this tension, I checked out many aspects of my life I should improve, but although it allowed me again to see clearly (and deal with) some of these situations, I was totally unable to find what was the problem on this very evening. I was totally unable to enjoy anything, music, reading, light, darkness, nothing absolutely nothing was saitsfying. Everytime I was thinking about doing something, the only reply I could have was nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING ! ! ! ! !

I was nothing, I felt nothing, I was in the nothing, part of the nothing, I was experiencing the NOTHINGNESS aspect of the life, and it’s very very VERY boring, sure. Around 1 hour after the first effects of mushrooms were felt, I snorted two lines of Yopo. Although on a previous journey, it acted marvellously on peaking psylohuasca (great colors, great power, great love), this time it was not sure the same, still unable to enjoy (don’t dislike, no, but unable to enjoy, like the pleasure channels in my brain would have been cut). I felt the physical, lovely warmed rushes, my hears were whistling, but nothing else.

The third hour was almost the same. But it changed as I was reading an article about Penan (native people from Indonesia living in the jungle), in this article was a little photo representing the Sarawak forest. What shocked me (really) was that on the right part of the photo was the forest, dense, green, until the landline, but on left part of the photo, nothing, NOTHING ! ! ! Where’s the forest ?, no more, only dirt and sand a real waste land. Seeing this put me in a real hanger, I was totally disgusted, crying, thinking « How can they do that ? ! How can they bring so much destruction just to satisfy people who love exotic woods ? They kill, annihilate thousands of life, they destroy the house of the Penan like in many other parts of the world, they destroy the forest and the people living within it, and their knowledge goes in smoke with them. What would we do if somebody come and destroy the whole city/village/place (or whatever) we live in, just to take out the toilet washbowl, because somebody outerseas like the colour, the shape our the texture of our toilets ? This is a crime against Humanity ! ! !

My thoughts were going more and more virulent, and at the end I was calling the Armageddeon on humanity, my mind was crowded with really apocalyptic thoughts, but at that moment, an insight came to me « No They all deserve to live, whatever they do (good or evil), because it’s LIFE, because they’re part of the LIFE, because LIFE is within them, because they’re LIFE, because of the incredible energy of LIFE flowing in all of them, this energy wich give us the strenght to go beyond our limits, our fears, this energy which makes us love, etc. All of them deserve to live.

I’ve been crying during all this hard time, and after that I was feeling really better, I felt like the tension has been gone. 'Nice', I thought, 'I’m able again to enjoy things', so I decided to snort some Yopo again. Here was the mistake, I snorted really too much of it. I felt rapidly that it was too much, an intracranial pressure was felt, all my body was under pressure. But along that I was blew out. I was laid back on my bed in the darkness, listening to Colombian music, my eyes were half closed (or half opened), and I saw lots of mosaics (totally different from those of mushrooms or LSD, here it was more precise, more detailed with a different shape (looked a lot like giants drawing of the NAZCA culture.

I remember seeing a digitalized heart floating in the air (don’t know whether it was mine or not), and then I « heard » my own heart « saying » « you took too much Yopo, I don’t like it, it’s too much ». Pressure was still here, and I just wanted it to calm down. But!
NO ! ! !

The only light which was on, was a candle, at some moment I looked at my hands and « wow, what’s happening, looks like they’re swollen ». So I went to the bathroom to check it and to check wether my face was purple or not (don’t know why it would have been as only intravenous bufotenine make your face turning purple). My hands were really looking very swollen, but I was not 100% sure of it as I was deeply hallucinating. As I was staring at them, I felt something not cool at all coming, you know this kind of rush you get when you’re at the point to collapse. I quickly seated myself on the shower socket and... WHAT’S HAPPENING ? What the fuck is this ? CONVULSIONS ! ! ! ! Fuck that !

My body was totally out of control, shaking convulsing. AWFUL ! ! !
I managed to get my body under control and go back to lay onmy bed, but these fucking, terrifying convulsions came again. Am I going to die ? No ! fuck it I don’t wanna die ! I started fighting the convulsion (fighting against my own body !), fighting to get through, fighting for survival, and finally it stopped. I could only see big flashes, explosions of fireworks for about 20 seconds after it. I was sweating profusely, totally blasted away, shocked by the tremendous experience I had just get through.

But it was not totally over, My heart ? ! ; what’s going on with my heart ? , Its pulsation rate was considerably slowed, no more than 50 BPM I didnt know what to do. All I wanted was it to stop, I wanted to sleep nothing else now. But no, I didn’ t slept right after. The light was on now. And the visual aspects was dramatically different than before, everything looked like I had a blue-purple filter in front of my eyes. It was very strange. When I passed a hand in front of me, it left behind it very strange trails (the correct word would be AGRESSIVE !) very persistent, still with this purple tinge (very dark, like egg-plant), and at the place of my fingertips were very dark, enormous, purple spot.

Sometimes when I turned my head my vision visual field was not following at the same speed. If I looked something on my left, then turned my head to the my right, the left-vision I had maintaind itself on my visual field, with some parts of it blowing into very little mosaics pieces, then my vision accorded to my visual field, it was very strange. In the darkness, my visual field was filled with colourfull, VERY COMPLICATED elaborate mosaics, with still those so tiny pieces. Sometimes it was not coherent going everywhere from anywhere, other times, it represented NAZCA-like drawings or kind of big monstruously deformated gods’ faces (Latin American style, but with some thing different, something VERY OLD, even PRIMITIVE !, not in its shape, but within the energy coming out from them. Music was still running, but sooo speedly, the rythm was considerably accelerated, as the voices were, how strange !

But I was so tired by the experience, and so scared too. I wondered several times whether I would be alive or not the morning after. I was too shocked to be able to enjoy, All I wanted was it to stop, me to sleep and wake up alive. I felt mike my heart was feeling better (I don’t know if it felt really bad anyway, although I know it didn’t LIKE the Yopo overdose, as it told me, the rate pulse has slightly increased, but still no more than 60.) I was feeling a little better now, and I felt that all would be OK. So I decided to go sleeping and managed to did so.

The day after, I woke up in an inabitual state of mind, Sure I was physically tired, but I felt strange like I would have been disconnected from some levels of the reality surrounding us, It’s not easy to describe. I was considering things and events coldly, with no feelings (good or bad, lovely or awfull) no point of view, i was seeing them just as they are, not how, why, with which goals, etc. Only they are parts of something very big running and which has to run without feeling, or if it has some, it’s of another kind unreachable to human being.

There’s at least one thing beneficial I take out from this hard experience. Better awareness of my body parts and better control on it. Maybe it is due to the fact that I managed to take back the control of my body to me (it didn’t want to) as I was undergoing convulsion, my mind had TO FIGHT against my body and it won. Anyway, since that , my sense of rythm had been truly improved (I had good one before this anyway), never danced or played jembe like this before, I have really better reflexes too, I feel my body like I’ve never felt it before.GREAT ! ! ! My dreams seems to have been a lot improved since. They’re much clearer, I remember them well better than I used to, they’re often about traveling (I like it a lot !)

Be careful guys if you try Anadanenthera snuff, never take more than a whole seed, a half one is even better. And for your first time, don’t mix it with someting else. It can be very rewarding if well used, but it can be shattering if not well used.

I prepare it by toasting the seeds in my oven. When the colour of the inside is the same that one of the bark, it’s OK (it should be reddish brown, or brownish red if you prefer). If the inside is yellow green or orange green, it’s not ready, if it’s black it’s good for the trash. This was one of my big mistake for this evening. The first seed I prepared was yellow green and the other was black and I didn’t try to prepare correctly a third one. So i took a mix of the bad prepared ones....
Two other mistake occured this time : bad mind set, and I ate a lot during this afternoon preceding the journey (too much tyramine from the foods ?).
These mistakes I won’t make them again, you can believe me.

Enjoy brethrens ! But ever be careful, it’s serious business.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 243
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 25, 2001	Views: 32,764
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Syrian Rue (45), Anadenanthera colubrina (139), Mushrooms - P. tampanensis (133) : Alone (16), General (1)